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Re: Please evaluate my essay
"Everyone living in this earth has a responsibility to protect our natural world." - There is only one planet Earth, so it doesn't make sense to say "this earth". Maybe you could say: Everyone living in this planet has the responsibility to protect our natural resources.
"an estimate of the number of plastic bags that are consumed every year can be 500 billion." This sentence doesn't really hold up grammatically. I'm not great at explaining why in terms of rules, sorry. Maybe you could say: It is estimated that up to 500 billion plastic bags are consumed every year.
" After all, we all only have an earth to live and we all have responsibilities to protect our earth."Again, maybe say planet instead of Earth.
"Thus, no shop owners cannot be appealing to do so." Something is appealing to someone. For example: The idea can clearly be appealing to shop owners.
"we are imperative to stop using them" It is imperative to stop using them.
"To conclusion, for the reasons I mentioned above". In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above... No need to put the I there, it's redundant.
These are a few that I noticed. Sorry I can't explain better why these sentences could be better written. Hope it helps.