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Can anyone please evaluate/criticize my essay responce. This is my first essay.


ambitiousgirl

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1) If you could change one important thing about your country, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

 

I am proud of my country. It’s a developing nation. Currently, its undergoing many social, economical and industrial developments. The only thing which I dislike about my country is its politics. If given a chance, I would like to change the politics of my country. There are many reasons to support my opinion.

First of all, I think the only reason of my country lagging behind all other countries is its bad politics. Politicians are least concerned about the nation. They are more interested in their own benefits and perks. Politicians are undergoing altercations for power and money. This is how my country is deteriorating when it comes to politics.

Secondly, my country is democratic nation. Democratic nation is to serve the needs of the society by the society. For that purpose, society undergoes election and chooses some leaders. Leaders are to represent the society. However, there is a lot of corruption in the process of electing a leader. Benefit of a common person is not getting achieved. This is how nation is on the path of misleading.

Thirdly, there is a lot of poverty in the nation. Cause of poverty originates from politics. If politics would have served the purpose, there would not be poverty in the nation. Poor people would have got shelter, clothing and food for each day. There is much more imbalance between rich politicians and poor common person. Imbalance is again rises from Politics and its corruption.

All these summarizes my desire to change politics in my country if given a chance to change one important thing about your country.

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