Please evaluate my issue essay

[Hopefull J]

After a few days of practice, I need some feedback. Please help evaluate my essay. Thanks in advance! :orange:

 

TOPIC :

Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

 

 

My response :

 

The purpose of education is to develop character and personality, to help realize dreams and desires. It is a stepping stone towards your goals and interests in life. However, being dictated by the thoughts and ideas being taught, may indeed lead to a mechanical existence without ingenuity. In my opinion, formal education more than often hinders the creativity and freedom of the mind and spirit.

 

Formal educational systems adhere to a syllabus. This often becomes too mechanical and any opinion outside the box may be discouraged. For instance, Einstein as a student, did not like History. He could not comprehend why facts had to be formally learned. He was more interested in uncovering the truth behind different phenomenon in nature, that cannot be explained by mere facts. Once, when he voiced his opinion in class, the teacher ridiculed him and stated with confidence that he would never be successful in life. This in essence, shows the attitude of most in the educational field. They are more concerned with stuffing the young brains with knowledge than instigating curious and interest. Tests and exams are given utmost priority when compared to creativity and true intelligence.

 

Furthermore, we have all observed the inquisitive minds of young children. They always have a “why?” to every thought in their minds –“why is the sky blue?” , “why should I sleep early” and so on. This is a sign of positive curiosity, a curiosity that drives the child to know how the facts came about instead of merely accepting them. However, it is also seen that, the instant they enter schools, their questions slowly dwindle, their minds become more mechanical as they are made to focus on learning facts of life, mathematics, science, society and so on. Very rarely does the inquisitiveness continue in the child’s life.

 

In addition, the modern education system, often overloads students to an extent that exploring their curiosities becomes difficult. They are trapped in a dilemma-choose to excel at school or try delve into matters that interest you.

 

On the contrary, formal education, for some, is a means to gain knowledge, and assess their validity. This is easily observed in researchers and scientists. Their minds are in constant motion, proving or disproving theories. Artists while studying the techniques of famous painters or actors, may in fact discover their own.

 

To sum it all, formal education often gives a “one mind track” to students preventing them from exploring other options. Curiosity is often subtly nipped in the bud before it can blossom and students have to choose between a good scores and creativity. However, those who refuse to accept the “take it as you get it” attitude, often use formal education as a platform to think for themselves by considering already established perspectives and ideas. Yet, these belong to a minority group and hence to the majority, formal education does in fact “restrain our minds and spirits than set them free”.