Issue Task- retaking the test...

[Holly Spellmann]

The topic of my essay was:

 

Technology, while apparently aimed to simplify our lives, only makes our lives more complicated.

 

I know that first of all my thesis is not concise or clear enough, just looking for more things to improve. (I had highlighted the idea that was pretty much my thesis but I need to make it one sentence next time)

 

 

Technology has been in near constant advancement since the first iterations of humankind appeared. From the most elementary stone tools of their time to the billion dollar satellites that orbit the planet today, technology has been the base of our progress. Life may be more complex as a result of this advancement, but it enables us to reach further and learn more than ever before.

 

We in the modern world are surrounded by screens- they show us the weather, the news, where to go and how to get there. Our ears are filled with the sounds of alarms telling us when to wake up, when our breakfast is ready, and when we may even be in danger. This landscape may seem hectic and overwhelming, but the results allow us to function with ever greater productivity and efficiency.

 

Humanity began to flourish when people had the chance to explore activities beyond those of basic survival. When producing and gathering food became more efficient, there became leeway for people to sit and think. People had time to invent, to hypothesize, to learn. This same principle can be applied to the continuing advancement of technology.

 

People sometimes fear technology, they feel that computers are beginning to replace them in fields ranging from manufacturing to filing and processing data. This should be seen as an opportunity to take on ever more complicated tasks, to take advantage of the boost that technology offers. Modern medicine and science utilize technology unabashedly, and this has led to great breakthroughs. The human genome can now be understood in ways previously impossible. Medical research is on the way to producing functioning organs, which could save countless lives. The benefits that technology, and ultimately the inventors of this technology, have brought about are endless.

 

It is understandable for some nostalgia to exist as we propel ourselves further and further into the world of technology. Change is never comfortable or easy. However, the tools that are at our fingertips now are the descendants of the stone knife or spear. Humanity creates these tools in order to more easily pave the way for progress.

[purneshtripathi]

The topic of my essay was:

 

Technology, while apparently aimed to simplify our lives, only makes our lives more complicated.

 

I know that first of all my thesis is not concise or clear enough, just looking for more things to improve. (I had highlighted the idea that was pretty much my thesis but I need to make it one sentence next time)

 

 

Technology has been in near constant advancement since the first iterations of humankind appeared. From the most elementary stone tools of their time to the billion dollar satellites that orbit the planet today, technology has been the base of our progress. Life may be more complex as a result of this advancement, but it enables us to reach further and learn more than ever before.

 

We in the modern world are surrounded by screens- they show us the weather, the news, where to go and how to get there. Our ears are filled with the sounds of alarms telling us when to wake up, when our breakfast is ready, and when we may even be in danger. This landscape may seem hectic and overwhelming, but the results allow us to function with ever greater productivity and efficiency.

 

Humanity began to flourish when people had the chance to explore activities beyond those of basic survival. When producing and gathering food became more efficient, there became leeway for people to sit and think. People had time to invent, to hypothesize, to learn. This same principle can be applied to the continuing advancement of technology.

 

People sometimes fear technology, they feel that computers are beginning to replace them in fields ranging from manufacturing to filing and processing data. This should be seen as an opportunity to take on ever more complicated tasks, to take advantage of the boost that technology offers. Modern medicine and science utilize technology unabashedly, and this has led to great breakthroughs. The human genome can now be understood in ways previously impossible. Medical research is on the way to producing functioning organs, which could save countless lives. The benefits that technology, and ultimately the inventors of this technology, have brought about are endless.

 

It is understandable for some nostalgia to exist as we propel ourselves further and further into the world of technology. Change is never comfortable or easy. However, the tools that are at our fingertips now are the descendants of the stone knife or spear. Humanity creates these tools in order to more easily pave the way for progress.

 

 

The organization of the essay is good and it involves careful thinking over ideas. There was not a variety of vocabulary used, although the meaning of the essay can be perceived loud and clear.

 

I also wrote upon the same topic, please evaluate my essay too.

 

The statement has a very limited perspective and is not justifiable by any means. Technology has simplified our lives in innumerable ways and it is with the advent of technology in all fields that mankind has been able to achieve new pinncales every day. Technology has been introduced in every field of work today, and with that, the living standard of individuals working in every domain has ameliorated.

For example, the way education is being imparted has been completely revolutionized by technology. Earlier, the access to quality education was limited to only the few laborious individuals who made it to the good institutions. Now, that we have the internet the lectures of professors from the best universities across the world are available online. WEbsites like Khan Academy and Coursera have simplified access to good quality education for students across the globe. The scenario is nothing but better for teacherstoo, as now they can hold tests on computers and have them evaluated automatically. Some people might argue that feeding the questions into the computer and teaching it how to evaluate is a tedious tasks, to those erudites I say, its a one time investment and the teachers will never have to manually grade answer sheets again. The GRE General Revised Exam is now conducted only on computers and scored by e-rater for auxillary rating. There could not be a better example apt for explaining the simplification technology has caused.

On another note, in the field of medication, the advent of technology has made it way easier for the doctors to identify and cure even the most malign diseases. Also, the manufacturing of drugs can now be done at a tremendous rate with the advent of industrial automation robots like Kuka. Even in the households, earlier there were maids to wash clothes which have now been replaced with washing machines. The field of communication has been taken over by cell phones, which are way simpler to use as compared to the twenty year old alternative, i.e. Telegraph.

However, there may be some who gainsay these arguments by saying that complications have arrived for layman in terms of advancements every where. As an example one might state that the automation being done by Delhi Rail Metro Corporation(DMRC) by installation of Automatic Ticket Vending Machines, may be hectic for someone who's new to electronic gadgets, and that comprises majority of Indian Citizen. In such a case, imagine the simplification that would happen if that majority is accustomed to thhese machines. There would be huge accomplishments in small amounts of time. The man power wasted on things without automation can then be used to automate even more things and introduce technology in fields, it hasn't been introduced to/ developed in, yet.

To conclude, technology has made our life much easier in every aspect. With advent of technologies in more and more fields every day, and with more and more concocts being done every day, our life is becoming simpler that it ever was. This has led to a few hurdles which might seem like hassles in the beginning, but once you get the hang of it, using technology is addictive, productive and way more useful that not using it. To epitomize, technology is serving its purpose well, simplifying lives for those who embrace it and use it.

 

The official scoring guidelines by ETS are available here.

[conscientious]

I would give this a 5. The first reason (inundation of information) is great - I would expand more, though, on how it is actually more efficient, i.e. makes lives simpler. The other reasons are good as well, but they are more describing how technology is good, not whether it is complex or simplifies. That focus may help your AWA.