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Thread: Please score my independent essay and advise me.

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    Trying to make mom and pop proud
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    Please score my independent essay and advise me.

    Hi there,

    could you score my independent essay please? And, could you give me an advice what I could improve? Many thanks in advance.

    Topic:
    Neighbors are the people who live near us. In your opinion, what are the qualities of a good neighbor? Use specific details and examples in your answer.

    My essay:
    I think that a good neighbour should be social, friendly, and trustworthy. I think so as my belief is that these attitudes are necessary in order to get a good relationship.
    At first, I think the neighbour should be social. I think this is important as I think I cannot become familiar with people that are not social. I think that I can become familiar with social people that esteem and appreciate me. For example, if someone is social, he may invites the neighbours to a barbeque party every year. This is a perfect opportunity to get to know things about the neighbour and to build the underpinning of a friendship.
    This detail, the ability to get a friendship, leads to the next preference. I think that the neighbour should be friendly. In detail, he should respect me and my needs and he should be helpful. For example, if I had a personal problem, it would be great to consider the neighbour. If the neighbour is my friend, and if the neighbour is friendly, this will be possible. Against to this, if he is not friendly, he will deny my wish to consult him. And, if he is not social, he will not be my friend and I will refute to ask him. On the other hand, the neighbour should respect myself. For example, if I want to sleep an he knows that, he should be quit. Someone who is not able to fulfill this is not worth the distinction “good neighbour”. Another point is that the neighbour should help me if I need this help. For example, if I want to holiday, I will ask my neighbour whether he could set an eye on my house. I will give him the keys and the like. If the neighbour is not helpful, he will reject these things. This seems not to be a perfect, harmonic neighbourhood. Hence, it is important that the neighbour is helpful.
    This example provides the next step a good neighbour should fulfill. The neighbour should be trustworthy. I would not give somebody a key to my house, a key to all my belongings, my possesions if he were not trustworthy. But, if he is trustworthy, I will trust him in that way that I will give him a second key for my house – not only when I am on holiday. Having this key, he is able to cabbage all my possesions. If he does so, I would sue him. Again, this is not a good neighboorhood. Therefore, a good neighbour should be trustworthy.
    All in all, I think that a good neighbour should be social to offer the founding of a friendship, friendly to offer his help and to lead to the above-mentioned friendship, and trustworthy to fulfill my trust in him.

    Sincerely
    Last edited by boy1994; 08-05-2011 at 11:08 AM.

  2. #2
    Trying to make mom and pop proud
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    Sincerely

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