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Please evaluate my essay I have a test this friday


mentaldy

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person should never make an important decision alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Living life, people are faced with moments when they have to make important decisions, such as choosing which college to go to or deciding which candidate to vote as their new president. Many can argue that a person should never make an important decision alone. I disagree to this statement. This is because the statement suggests that there should never be a case where a person makes an important decision alone. Sometimes the benefits of making an important decision alone can outweigh the benefits of doing so together with other people.

As people live life there are moments when people have to make important decisions. These decisions can vary in importance and reason, which is why there is no absolute right or wrong when making a decision. Given this information, to set a rule that a person should never make an important decision alone can be very critical towards the decision maker. The outcome can sometimes be worse than what the decision maker may have expected. For example, going to a college is a crucial step towards a person’s future. Deciding which college to apply for and for what majors can significantly change their future lives. Although it is true that the future belongs to the decision maker alone, in many cases it is the parents who are expected to create such an opportunity for them by their hard work and payment of tuition fees. Making a decision, on which college to apply for, with parents rather than doing it alone can be deemed as more rightful.

Furthermore, although the benefits of making an important decision alone can outweigh those when doing together with other people, this is entirely dependent towards the situation. In other words, sometimes the benefits of making an important decision alone can be greater than the vice versa. For instance, a president is a representative of a nation and should make decisions based on what the vast majority of the population desires and needs. Otherwise, taking measures for the president’s personal gain can be beneficial towards the president, but the decision may not always be what the nation desires. In this case it would be most appropriate to make a decision with the population. However, when that same president happened to fall in love with another person and began contemplating whether to propose to that person or not, it is best to go with whatever the person’s heart tells to do, instead of what other people tell.

Reflecting back, the essay has briefly expressed the writer’s viewpoint on whether the statement “A person should never make an important decision alone”. The statement is disagreeable for two main reasons. To start with, there are situations when making a decision alone is more appropriate but there are times when it is the vice versa. On top of that, the benefits of making a decision either together or alone can vary according to the given situation as well.

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I suppose when the president's proposing to his fiancee, at least he should consult the to-be parents-in-law?

Avoid word-dumping, which is reiterating the phrases and ideas redundantly. It does not help to merely filling up 300 words.

The first example in fact enervates your proposition! If so, why not postulating a case when individual wisdom prevails first?

The last paragraph is almost the same as the last one. So, better think of some ways to enrich the content of your passage!

 

Please refer to the attachment for a detailed analysis of your scribbles; thanks!

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I finished going through the details and yours is truly one of quality. I can understand you were trying to provide me with the best example. However, considering we are given only 30 minutes for the actual writing task, I do not think I would have enough time to revise my diction and perfect it like yours. They would be more generous with their marks won't they? I'm just saying so because I took a test last friday as I said I would and I thought I wrote well but I am not sure anymore.
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I finished going through the details and yours is truly one of quality. I can understand you were trying to provide me with the best example. However, considering we are given only 30 minutes for the actual writing task, I do not think I would have enough time to revise my diction and perfect it like yours. They would be more generous with their marks won't they? I'm just saying so because I took a test last friday as I said I would and I thought I wrote well but I am not sure anymore.

 

Appreciated. Well, the more you train yourself in brainstorming and contemplation, the more erudite your ideas will look like.

 

There's no fast-track to horizon broadening, allow me to say, but the same conventional suggestion of reading more global news.

 

Well, I've typed 225 words (the upper bound) in my integrated essay and pretty close to 500 in my another opinionated work.

 

Well, assuming away generosity, I suppose they will scrutinize my grammar and structures. Without doubt, they can dig out some grammatical mistakes and tense inconsistencies, to name but a few. And all of these have eaten a couple of points for my writing part.

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oh wow... ok... I personally think you've really got talent when it comes to writing essays. Your diction is "professional", if you will, and your arguments are really processed. If they deducted points from you then I guess I am in danger. My scores are coming out in 4 days and I am nervous. Anyways I really appreciate your contribution. Thank you
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oh wow... ok... I personally think you've really got talent when it comes to writing essays. Your diction is "professional", if you will, and your arguments are really processed. If they deducted points from you then I guess I am in danger. My scores are coming out in 4 days and I am nervous. Anyways I really appreciate your contribution. Thank you

 

A long shot from perfection, and my GRE verbal score was mediocre.

 

Perhaps the more I've scribbled, the more errors I've made, proportionately.

 

No worries. Take heart and be rejuvenated to embrace the future audaciously!

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