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#153: A zoo has no useful purpose. Use specific


ciquita0

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Pls rate my essay. It's a half an hour essay.

 

 

#153 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A zoo has no useful purpose. Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.

 

 

 

A zoo is a wild life live show. A zoo is a joy for chlidren as well as for their parents and grandparents. But despite these, does a zoo really has a useful purpose?

 

In my opinion there is no useful purpose but fun. And fun is not a strong reason to take some wild animals out of their natural habitat and prison them for life.

 

For example, I have noticed the sad eyes of an elephant in a zoo and I watched at the news how many elephants die in zoos because they are not properly took care of. Most of the zoos does not have the necessary financial resources to properly feed the animals, to create habitats for them as similar as their natural ones and so on.

 

But I have to recognize that a zoo can be good shelter for the sick or wounded animals from the circus that otherwise would be killed. Or for the animals that have been saved from death by humans and can't come back into wild. Under no circumstamces a healthy and well integrated wild animal should be hunted to be put in a zoo.

 

Finally, the communities have to be constious of the danger that bad organized and financed zoos can be and have to fight against animal abusing that can be found in such places.

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Score: 3.5/6.0

 

Hi ciquita0,

 

Your essay has very nice writing, ideas, and organization; it's just too short!! Try to write at least 250 words (your essay has 225 words), but 300 to 400 would be better. And each paragraph should have at least three or four sentences; some of your paragraphs consist of two sentences.

 

BTW, I really like your ideas--they are clear and vivid. :)

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Hello Erin,

 

Thank you a lot for your advise. I'll try to put them into practice. :)

 

By the way, I was wondering why don't you put some advertisments on you site? ;) There aren't any (almost), and you can get some finance. What do you gain from this, besides our respect and millions of thanks? Do you have the necessary time to help us for free?

 

Anyway, I really admire you for the success of your project. Free Toefl resources, a good teacher to rate your essay, a forum that is interesting indeed...

 

This site helped me a lot, as I have a job and I don't have the necessary time to go to the Toefl training centre that is here in Bucharest. Plus, an hour on the computer is 1$ and a day studying books is half a dolar. You also have to come with your own walkman if you want to try some tapes. And is full all the time. :(

 

Thank you again and again and again...

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  • 8 months later...

A zoo is a wild life live show. A zoo is a joy for chlidren as well as for their parents and grandparents. But despite these, does a zoo really has a useful purpose?

 

In my opinion there is no useful purpose but fun. And fun is not a strong reason to take some wild animals out of their natural habitat and prison them for life.

 

I think this two paragraphs could be just one.

I tried to write another assay in contrast with the ideas with ciquita0's, but I failed.

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I am taking TOEFL soon, so this time you guys will see me alot on this site practising. :)) This site is just GREAT!!!

 

 

 

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