Please correct my essay

[marielle]

Topic:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement .high schools should allow students to study the courses that they want to study. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

 

Essay:

In the last time many schools are implementing a new methodology in education that allows students to choose the courses they want to study. Like all controversial issues, this one has positive and negative aspects.

 

 

This new methodology is positive in order to develop the freedom and responsibility of students. They need to be sure what they are doing when they choose a course, and if they can finish it in a satisfactory way. In addition students would choose courses that are in relation with their particular skills, and develop them at an early age. In this way we can see that a future engineer will choose courses related to mathematics, and a lawyer will choose others like history or literature.

 

 

But it is known that high schools students are not mature enough in order to choose what it is convenient for each of them, and it could be the case that they could prefer easy courses that do not imply to much effort. So instead of develop their skills earlier, they would lost time in easier courses that do not help them in their future careers.

 

 

In my case, I think that schools should not let children to study the courses they want to study because they need to know about everything. It is important that schools give all the background that will allow students to decide what they want to do and who they want to be in the future in a responsible way, and children are not necessarily going to choose their courses in order to achieve this. In this way the diversity of the courses gives them a general knowledge about different kind of topics, and whit this variety they will decide in the future what they want to do for the rest of their lives.

 

 

In addition, students need to be accustomed to face challenges and it is not convenient to give them only the courses they like because the problems will begun later in their careers and lives. They have to accomplish different kind of tasks and this will help them to be responsible and mature.

 

 

In light of the above reasons, I believe that high school should be the last challenge imposed in a mandatory way, because students should not be focused in specific topics. With a wide background they will have the necessary tools to take their own decision about their careers in the future.

 

 

 

 

 

[leosnake]

-"So instead of develop their skills earlier" -> instead of developing their skills...

-"In addition, students need to be accustomed to face challenges " -> to be accustomed to facing challenges ( to be accustomed to st or doing st)

-"are not mature enough in order to choose what it is convenient for each of them" -> I suggest to eliminate "in order to"

[marielle]

Hello leosnake. Thank you!