please score essay- topic is the same as the GRE sample w/ reader commentary

[npatel28]

:eek: essay completed in 30 minutes. it is the sample topic with a scoring guide for what essay rates a 6, 5 and so forth on the GRE website. thanks!

 

Topic: as people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability for humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate

 

Directions: discuss the extent you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. in developing and supporting your position, you should consider the ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

 

 

The statement regarding the increased use of technology resulting in the decrease of human thinking and independence has established on a day-to-day basis. The technological achievements over the last one hundred years have been some of the most drastic changes our society has faced to this day. The use of technology on a day-to-day basis establishes the amount human rely on their phones, computers, vehicles and other technology. Everyday more and more people will interact via a phone, research someone else’s ideas using the internet, and use a calculator to solve basic math. The use of these devices has indeed reduced the ability for many humans to think critically and thereby reduced the independence they once achieved. Phones allow for higher efficiency by enabling humans to hold conference calls with individuals from China, America and Brazil all at the same time; however, they minimize the amount of human interaction that occurred prior to the existence of the phone. The internet has broadened the world so that someone sitting in California may interact with someone in China in an instance; however, the individual is now losing the ability to interact with physical beings. One of the biggest hindrances to the mind’s ability to critically solve math problems is the calculator because most people will use a calculator to do simple math such as nine multiplied by nine.

 

 

Today we are able to text, email, use applications such as SnapChat and Twitter, and wirelessly call anyone around the world through one simple yet complex technology: the phone. This device utilizes everything from satellites to intricately designed wiring to allow for all of the above-mentioned capabilities. However, when we examine the ramifications we see that this device hinders our ability to think critically and independently because of the many phones now provides us with shortcuts. When we text, rather than looking for misspelled words and correcting them ourselves, such as we would when we write a letter, we are using autocorrect so that the phone automatically corrects any mistakes for us. Humans do not correct their grammar, punctuation, or spelling because it is not required by the phone to do some. Today we rely more on autocorrect than we do our own use of vocabulary, which has significantly dwindled since the use of phones became a popular and then normal occurrence. They have also reduced the amount of time we spend having face to face conversations with the individuals around us; therefore, reducing the brain’s ability to detect nonverbal language, or body language, which is contributes to 90% of a conversation. Though the use of a phone has increased the efficiency of our society; it has come at the cost of decreasing the on the self and one’s own capabilities.

 

 

The internet is another widely used technology that has hindered humans’ ability to think critically and independently. Rather than using our own knowledge to write essays and papers nowadays, we rely more on the information we can find on the internet. We decrease the use of our critical thinking skills by relying on the thinking of others. Once again humans lose the ability to socially interact with individuals face to face because they have focused so heavily on interacting with individuals via the internet. They lose the ability to think creatively and formulate new ideas and theories that can better our society as a whole. Though the creation of these technologies is a testimonial to the creativity and innovative minds of those prior to us, each generation has lost more and more interest in creative and innovative thinking. Each generation that follows the original minds of technology has formulated fewer and fewer uniquely different and ingenious ideas. The internet has opened the individual to a universe of information that is primarily being use for personal gain rather than postulating greater and grander theories and advancements.

 

 

The last technological example to hinder humans is the calculator because it has taken away the need to solve simple and complex calculation using just pencil, paper, and your own knowledge of mathematics. The invention of the calculator was innovative and extremely useful in many aspects; however, in today’s society human rely on the calculator only. We are taught in grade school to use our minds to do long division and triple digit multiplication, but by the time we reach high school those skills have been lost and replaced by the use of advance calculators such as the Texas Instruments 89, which is required by many math teachers. The calculator has given humans a way to be lazy and not exercise our brain and our ability to think critically. Each year the test scores of our students in mathematics decreases because the technological innovation has become a replacement to the abilities of our brains.

 

 

Though technology has been a great resource for improving the lives of many people, it has become a curse just the same by decreasing the ability to think for ourselves. Humans rely more heavily on technology then they do themselves and the humans around them. Phones have become primary source of conversation and interaction for so many, limiting the ability to learn body language and identify nonverbal language, which is a critical skill needed to interact with humans face-to-face. The internet has opened up all corners of the world so that we may explore each area, but humans use it more to steal ideas from predecessors on their great achievements, whether they are literary, scientific or technological. The internet has limited the ability for humans to think of creative, innovative and unique ideas that may change the world just as previous technologies have changed our society today. Lastly, something as simple as a calculator has changed the entire way we approach mathematics relying heavily on the ability of the calculator rather than the critical thinking capabilities of our minds. Technology opened many doors, but has closed more important dimensions of the human self. With the ever growing need for technology in everyday life, the use of the human brain will eventually become obsolete with the eventual creation of artificial intelligence that will render the human brain inconsequential.