npatel28

Thank you so much for taking the time do review this!! :)

I took my exam today and if you practice within the time constraints often enough it becomes very easy. I had enough time to write my essays and proof them. I had one example per body paragraph. Good luck!!

"The author's claim regarding Palean baskets requires more substantial evidences to be strongly held. Otherwise, the potentially wrong assumptions will render it a rather superficial and a possibley invalid claim. The central point that forms the base of the claim is that the basket was found in Lithos, shich was stated to be located across the Brim River from Palea, and that the river is very deep and broad, thus making it impossible for Paleans to cross the river without boats. However [avoid starting sentences with 'But'], no boats have been found to date [alternative: however, this is a lack of evidence suggesting the Palean people used boats.]. Why does the author ignore the possibility of finding a boat in the future thus invalidating the implied assumption of no boats existed at the time of Paleans? [sentence needs to be clarified. I'm not entirely sure what you mean by the previous sentence- alternative: the author does not adequately consider the possibilty of finding Palean boats in the future. therefore, invalidating the implie assumption that Paleans did not utilize boats] The deep Brim River may have a vestige of boats hidden in the depths, which are awaiting dicovery. This possibility further weakens the authors claim because it is a valid alternative to the author's assumption. On the other hand, the possibility remains that the Brim river was not as broad at the time of Palean people. Some alternatives include that the Brim River could have been a narrow canal and the existence of changing depths and widths of the river. For example, the river could have taken the form of a narrow canal during the summer allowing the Paleans to cross the river with ease. If this was the case, the claim that the basket was not uniquely Palean does not stand strong because there is a possibility changing river depths allowed the Palean people to share their innovations with the people of Litho. [give a concluding reason to why the claim is weakened]" Review: I only critiqued portions of your essay. however, these are suggestions applicable to the whole essay: 1. work on grammer and sentence structure and fluency 2. your Ideas are solid; however, the way they are conveyed is very confusing and unclear at times. 3. reduce the amount of questions you pose in your body paragraphs, save those for the introduction 4. give more clear and concise examples and counterexplanations. hope this helps and good luck!

i completed this essay in 30 minutes exactly; i did not have enough time to edit the essay. please score it as honestly as possible with suggestions if possible. i will return the favor! thanks!! The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station. "Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this period, most of the complaints received from viewers were concerned with our station's coverage of weather and local news. In addition, local businesses that used to advertise during our late-night news program have just canceled their advertising contracts with us. Therefore, in order to attract more viewers to the program and to avoid losing any further advertising revenues, we should restore the time devoted to weather and local news to its former level." Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument The memorandum argues that the increase in national news and decrease in local news and weather has results in viewer dissatisfaction and cancelation of local businesses’ advertising contracts. However, the author fails to provide sufficient evidence to evaluate the reasoning of the assumptions. The author postulates the viewer complaints and advertisement cancelations are directly correlated with the increase in national news coverage; then the author provides a solution that is unwarranted and lacking evidence. The author of the memorandum assumes that the recent “complaints…with our station’s coverage of weather and local news” is based on the increase in time spent reporting on national news. The author does not provide any specific examples of the complaints in regards to the change to increased national news coverage. It is entirely possible the complaints are in regards to reports of incorrect weather patterns or incorrect local news because the appropriate evidence is lacking. The complaints could also be addressing technical problems with the weather and local news sectors of the show as well. In any event, the news station needs to collect more information via viewer surveys to determine whether the complaints are specific to the change in increased national news or to another issue. Another assumption that lacks sufficient evidence is the recent retraction of business advertisements. The author assumes the retraction of contracts is because of the increase in national news; however, there are many other reasons for such a retraction. The business owners’ advertisements may receive inadequate airing time or they may believe another news station can provide the same service at a cheap cost. The author provides no evidence as to why such retractions occurred. It would be helpful to reach out to the local business owners and survey why those businesses have canceled their advertisement contracts. It would also be helpful to know what alternatives could be achieved to improved customer satisfaction. Furthermore, the business manager assumes reestablishing the former format of the news show would increase the number of viewers, while also hindering the loss of any more revenues from advertisements by local businesses. This assumption is unfounded because it lacks evidence to support the postulation. The business manager has not considered all possible reasons to why these occurrences are happening. One possible explanation is that a competitor is offering better coverage on national and local news, which has attracted viewers away from the news station; while it is also plausible that a competitor is offering more accurate coverage of national, local and weather news. A full assessment on whether the news station is providing adequate and accurate coverage of the news is required, while also assessing the competitive prices available to local businesses for advertisement. In conclusion, the assumptions made by the business manager go unfounded because of the lack of evidence. Surveys, assessments, and research are needed to understand the type of complaints viewers are submitting, the recent cancellation of local business advertisement contracts, and the proper plan of action to attract more views, while maintaining the current local business advertisement contracts.

:eek: essay completed in 30 minutes. it is the sample topic with a scoring guide for what essay rates a 6, 5 and so forth on the GRE website. thanks! Topic: as people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability for humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate Directions: discuss the extent you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. in developing and supporting your position, you should consider the ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position. The statement regarding the increased use of technology resulting in the decrease of human thinking and independence has established on a day-to-day basis. The technological achievements over the last one hundred years have been some of the most drastic changes our society has faced to this day. The use of technology on a day-to-day basis establishes the amount human rely on their phones, computers, vehicles and other technology. Everyday more and more people will interact via a phone, research someone else’s ideas using the internet, and use a calculator to solve basic math. The use of these devices has indeed reduced the ability for many humans to think critically and thereby reduced the independence they once achieved. Phones allow for higher efficiency by enabling humans to hold conference calls with individuals from China, America and Brazil all at the same time; however, they minimize the amount of human interaction that occurred prior to the existence of the phone. The internet has broadened the world so that someone sitting in California may interact with someone in China in an instance; however, the individual is now losing the ability to interact with physical beings. One of the biggest hindrances to the mind’s ability to critically solve math problems is the calculator because most people will use a calculator to do simple math such as nine multiplied by nine. Today we are able to text, email, use applications such as SnapChat and Twitter, and wirelessly call anyone around the world through one simple yet complex technology: the phone. This device utilizes everything from satellites to intricately designed wiring to allow for all of the above-mentioned capabilities. However, when we examine the ramifications we see that this device hinders our ability to think critically and independently because of the many phones now provides us with shortcuts. When we text, rather than looking for misspelled words and correcting them ourselves, such as we would when we write a letter, we are using autocorrect so that the phone automatically corrects any mistakes for us. Humans do not correct their grammar, punctuation, or spelling because it is not required by the phone to do some. Today we rely more on autocorrect than we do our own use of vocabulary, which has significantly dwindled since the use of phones became a popular and then normal occurrence. They have also reduced the amount of time we spend having face to face conversations with the individuals around us; therefore, reducing the brain’s ability to detect nonverbal language, or body language, which is contributes to 90% of a conversation. Though the use of a phone has increased the efficiency of our society; it has come at the cost of decreasing the on the self and one’s own capabilities. The internet is another widely used technology that has hindered humans’ ability to think critically and independently. Rather than using our own knowledge to write essays and papers nowadays, we rely more on the information we can find on the internet. We decrease the use of our critical thinking skills by relying on the thinking of others. Once again humans lose the ability to socially interact with individuals face to face because they have focused so heavily on interacting with individuals via the internet. They lose the ability to think creatively and formulate new ideas and theories that can better our society as a whole. Though the creation of these technologies is a testimonial to the creativity and innovative minds of those prior to us, each generation has lost more and more interest in creative and innovative thinking. Each generation that follows the original minds of technology has formulated fewer and fewer uniquely different and ingenious ideas. The internet has opened the individual to a universe of information that is primarily being use for personal gain rather than postulating greater and grander theories and advancements. The last technological example to hinder humans is the calculator because it has taken away the need to solve simple and complex calculation using just pencil, paper, and your own knowledge of mathematics. The invention of the calculator was innovative and extremely useful in many aspects; however, in today’s society human rely on the calculator only. We are taught in grade school to use our minds to do long division and triple digit multiplication, but by the time we reach high school those skills have been lost and replaced by the use of advance calculators such as the Texas Instruments 89, which is required by many math teachers. The calculator has given humans a way to be lazy and not exercise our brain and our ability to think critically. Each year the test scores of our students in mathematics decreases because the technological innovation has become a replacement to the abilities of our brains. Though technology has been a great resource for improving the lives of many people, it has become a curse just the same by decreasing the ability to think for ourselves. Humans rely more heavily on technology then they do themselves and the humans around them. Phones have become primary source of conversation and interaction for so many, limiting the ability to learn body language and identify nonverbal language, which is a critical skill needed to interact with humans face-to-face. The internet has opened up all corners of the world so that we may explore each area, but humans use it more to steal ideas from predecessors on their great achievements, whether they are literary, scientific or technological. The internet has limited the ability for humans to think of creative, innovative and unique ideas that may change the world just as previous technologies have changed our society today. Lastly, something as simple as a calculator has changed the entire way we approach mathematics relying heavily on the ability of the calculator rather than the critical thinking capabilities of our minds. Technology opened many doors, but has closed more important dimensions of the human self. With the ever growing need for technology in everyday life, the use of the human brain will eventually become obsolete with the eventual creation of artificial intelligence that will render the human brain inconsequential.

from all the study materials i have used it seems important to use at least one example for each body paragraph.

written in 35 minutes. attempted to edit but realized i went over the time limit. please let me know what scored you would give the essay and any areas of improvement. thanks!! Topic: A nation should require all of the students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college Directions: write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position. In today’s society entrance into college requires standardized testing. However, without the implementation of a standardized national curriculum, how could the use of standardized tests be trusted? Students and teachers alike would benefit from a national curriculum because students would be learning the same if not similar material, while teachers would have better understanding as to what to teach their students. The lack of a national curriculum has resulted in vast educational discrepancies between socioeconomic classes, lack of equality on entrance exams because such standardized exams are written by a specific class of individuals who have received a specific type of education, and differences in an educational foundation, which can later hinder a student’s education career. If all students learned the same material there could be fewer differences between the children of socioeconomic groups; eventually this could lead to eliminating the vast differences between socioeconomic classes. For example, inner city schools in areas, such as Detroit and Brooklyn, do not have access to the same educational material as those located in suburbs because the standards are not the same. The high school graduation rate for inner city schools compared to schools located in the suburbs surrounding these cities is much lower because teachers are overburdened, under-funded, and unable to maintain a standard in education. A national standard on curriculum could lead to better distribution of funding, specifically for inner city schools that have repeatedly been underfunded. If there was a national standard on curriculum then each school, theoretically, would have the same, if not similar, lesson plans, resources, and appropriate funding. The use of a national curriculum could also eliminate the need for standardized state exams, which generally allot less money to schools that score poorly. This would further eradicate the immense differences in education among varying socioeconomic groups. Equality in standardized curriculum would lead to more equality in standardized testing. Exams such as the SATs and GMATs are intended for broad use; however, they are limited to a specific type of educational system. Standardized tests are written by a specific class of individuals; therefore, they are geared towards those who have the opportunity to learn in the same setting. For example, students attending a public school in the suburbs of Miami would receive a better education than students attending a public school in the more destitute areas of Miami because there are more resources available. However, students from the suburbs of Miami would have an inferior education compared to those of elite public and private schools located in northern America; therefore, the standardized test scores of those students in the north would be better than those in the south all because there is a lack on standardization in the curriculum of education. If a national curriculum was put in place then the standardized tests would have to be molded to fit one specific curriculum that would more fairly test the entire student body. Curriculum taught in private schools is held at a higher standard than that of charter or magnet public schools, which in turn is held to higher standards then the remaining public schools. There is an astronomical difference between the various types of schools and the curriculum taught at each school. Through these differences students are placed on an ever growing difference in the type of education they receive. For example, Spruce Creek High School has four different programs high schools may attend outside of regular courses: Honor’s Program, International Baccalaureate (IB), Advance Placement (AP), and the Academy of Business and Finance. In comparison, Seabreeze High School, which is located in the same county as Spruce Creek High, only offered a few Advanced Placement courses. The stark differences in the educational curriculum lead individuals in the same county to attain different educational achievements. Though the options for high school programs such as AP and IB are extremely beneficial, the foundation, specifically kindergarten thru eighth grade, should be the same for each student. Without this foundation there would be little to build upon in the more crucial high school and college years. A national curriculum would allow all students the opportunity to a solid educational foundation to build upon. In conclusion, a national curriculum could help alleviate the vast socioeconomic differences, allow for a fair standardized testing system, and allow all students the opportunity for a respectable educational foundation that they each deserve. With the implementation of a national curriculum there could be a decrease in the vast socioeconomic difficulties seen in today’s society. It could allow inner city students to receive similar if not the same education as a student in the suburbs. Moreover, standardized testing would be modeled after the national curriculum rather than a select few from a specific educational background model. Lastly, the use of a national curriculum could lead to better public school funding, allowing for more equality amongst public and private schools. The importance of a national curriculum is imperative in assisting future generations with the benefits of an equal opportunity to learn.