aioria Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 HELLOOOOO everybody !!! Give me your rate. No matter is you are an expert or a beginner. Just want to know if this essay can be scored with 5??? Just writte YES or NO please.[bounce] Im not asking for commentaries , just a simple YES or NO :D If you want to make opinions they are well received as well:) Please reply:( . My test date is getting closer It took me 30 minutes , no less no more. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Nowadays , earth is suffering the development of mankind . Wheter to support or not the idea that human needs for farmland, housing , and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals , is a subject that could lead us into an enormous arguing. I myself , support the idea that human must protect and take care of the habitat where the animals live, specially if they are in great risk of extinction. It is normal that mankind , in his attempt to create a better enviroment to live , inhabit some places on the earth . What is not normal , is that humanbeings overexplote the resources of the earth, destroying natural habitats ,where animals live, without being required. All this issues are aiming and provoking the extinction of some animals in the world. As an intelligent mammal, human must respect to the earth . There is enough place for housing , farmland and industry as well as for animal´s land. Humanbeings have the intellegence to organize themselves in order to leave space for all that it is necessary without affecting other´s lives and goods. We, as the most intelligent species here, must take care of our world . Thinking about all that inhabits it . We can not go destroying forests and jungles , without thinking in the consecuences . Other animals live here. This world belongs to them as well. Not because we are the governing species today , we have the rigth to private them from a place to live.It is inmature and does not make any sense. In short , I strongly believe that human must consider that the land for endagered species is more important than that used for housing , farming and industry . We all deserve a place in this world , it is not fair to destroy the land where other animals live. Furthermore, we , as the leading species , have the responsibility of taking care about all that surrounds us , not only for us but also for all the living creatures that exist on earth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TM Staff Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 Originally posted by aioria HELLOOOOO everybody !!! Give me your rate. No matter is you are an expert or a beginner. Just want to know if this essay can be scored with 5??? Just writte YES or NO please.[bounce] Im not asking for commentaries , just a simple YES or NO :D If you want to make opinions they are well received as well:) Please reply:( . My test date is getting closer It took me 30 minutes , no less no more. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Nowadays , earth is suffering the development of mankind . Wheter to support or not the idea that human needs for farmland, housing , and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals , is a subject that could lead us into an enormous arguing. I myself , support the idea that human must protect and take care of the habitat where the animals live, specially if they are in great risk of extinction. It is normal that mankind , in his attempt to create a better enviroment to live , inhabit some places on the earth . What is not normal , is that humanbeings overexplote the resources of the earth, destroying natural habitats ,where animals live, without being required. All this issues are aiming and provoking the extinction of some animals in the world. As an intelligent mammal, human must respect to the earth . There is enough place for housing , farmland and industry as well as for animal´s land. Humanbeings have the intellegence to organize themselves in order to leave space for all that it is necessary without affecting other´s lives and goods. We, as the most intelligent species here, must take care of our world . Thinking about all that inhabits it . We can not go destroying forests and jungles , without thinking in the consecuences . Other animals live here. This world belongs to them as well. Not because we are the governing species today , we have the rigth to private them from a place to live.It is inmature and does not make any sense. In short , I strongly believe that human must consider that the land for endagered species is more important than that used for housing , farming and industry . We all deserve a place in this world , it is not fair to destroy the land where other animals live. Furthermore, we , as the leading species , have the responsibility of taking care about all that surrounds us , not only for us but also for all the living creatures that exist on earth. Hi, Aioria. Your essay seems to present a definite point of view on the topic at hand, but there is a bit of a problem in the way the material is presented. The essay, as it is, is more of a general discussion of the topic which shows the reader that you support the idea of saving land for endangered species. What is missing, and what is very important for the types of questions asked on the TWE, is the existence of a couple of clearly stated main points supported by solid examples. A statement of main points on this topic, for instance, might be something like: "Land needs to be preserved for endangered species in the world because animals play a vital role in our world and land, itself is a finite resource which, without human restraint, will eventually be depleted." In this example there are two clear points: a) animals are vital in our world b) land itself is in danger of disappearing. The writer of this statement would be able to use it as a guideline for the rest of his/her essay. Each point should serve as a topic for individual paragraphs within the body of the work. Examples of each of these things should be included for further support. Use your conclusion to restate these points, as well as your point of view on the topic. Your conclusion does the second part fairly well. Consider working on these suggestions for focus and clarity and you should be able to achieve the score you desire. I hope this will be of help to you. Best of luck, TM Staff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aioria Posted May 29, 2004 Author Share Posted May 29, 2004 thank you very very much ! =) It is true , in this essay I forgot to name my principal points in the introduction and I also forgot to add some examples I will keep in mind your suggestions ! you are very kind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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