Sport activities or Libraries

[greenvalley]

Please check and leave comments for my essay. It would be great to learn from your correction.

 

 

Topic 11: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Universities should give the same amount of money to their students’ sport activities as they give to their university libraries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

 

Essay

 

The issue whether a university should spend the same amount of money to students’ sport activities as that to library has caused heated debates over a period of time. In the one hand, some people argue that students’ sport activities are very important for both university and students, and should be invested more. In the other hand, other people, myself included, are convinced that library plays a more important role than do sport activities; therefore, it should be paid more attention.

 

There are numerous reasons why universities should spend more for libraries, and I would explain a few of the most important ones. The main reason is that a well equipped library can encourage students’ self-study. I can take my university’s library as an example. Two years ago, students in my university went to library mostly for borrowing books, not for self-studying there. Today, after being invested to improve its facilities and resources of materials, my university’s library attracts hundreds of students a day to study there after their classes. As a result, my university’s students approach to lessons more actively and their lecturers can have more time for further discussion rather than explaining what were stated in books.

 

Another reason why I advocate the attitude of investing in library is that a good library can well support students’ study. The more books available in library, the less time consuming and money students have to spend to buy books. Besides, updated materials in libraries can help students access to a wide range of knowledge, which may never be explained in lecture time. With more updated knowledge and information, students may be more confident to face challenges of the changing world today.

 

Although I agree that sport activities can bring university quite a few benefits, I do think that they are extra-activities of students and are not core value of a university to build its reputation. A university should be more care about its library which can encourage and support students’ self-study and, as a result, improve their students’ studying quality.

[san2612]

Please check and leave comments for my essay. It would be great to learn from your correction.

 

 

Topic 11: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Universities should give the same amount of money to their students’ sport activities as they give to their university libraries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

 

Essay

 

The issue considering whether a university should spend the same amount of money to students’ sport activities as that to a library has caused heated debates over a period of time. On one hand, some people argue that students’ sport activities are very important for both university and students, and should be invested more. On the other hand, other people, myself included, are convinced that a library plays a more important role than (do) sport activities; therefore, it should be paid more attention.

 

There are numerous reasons why universities should spend more money for libraries, and I would explain a few of the most important ones. The main reason is that a well equipped library can encourage students’ self-study. I can take my university’s library as an example. Two years ago, students in my university went to the library mostly for borrowing books, not for self-studying there. Today, after being invested to improve its facilities and sources of materials, my university’s library attracts hundreds of students (a day) everyday to study there after (their classes) school.[we use 'after school' instead of 'after classes']. As a result, my university’s students approach to lessons more actively and their lecturers can have more time and materials for further discussion rather than explaining what (were) are stated in textbooks.

 

Another reason why I advocate the attitude of investing in library is that a good library can well support students’ study. The more books available in library, the less time consumed and less money students have to spend to buy books. Besides, updated materials in libraries can help students access to a wide range of knowledge, which may (never) not be explained in lectures (time). With more updated knowledge and information, students may be more confident to face with challenges of the (changing) modern world today.

 

Although (I agree that) sport activities can bring a university (quite a few) some benefits, I do (think) believe [use the word 'believe' is better thatn 'think' here] that they are extra-activities (of students). Sports are not a core value of a university to build for its reputation. A university should be more (care about) attentive to its library (which can) in order to encourage and support students’ self-study and, as a result, improve their school performance.

You should delete the word in brackets

The essay is quite good, however, I think it needs a more various vocabularies and stable grammar.