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Thread: some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient.

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    Eager! santana's Avatar
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    some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient.

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    Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    Some people hold the opinion that computers have made life easier and more convenient , but others take a negative attitude. In my opinion, I agree that computers provide many opportunities for people and also they help people for many subjects. My argument for this view goes as follows.

    Firstly, one of the main advantage of computers is that people can learn a lot of information by using internet. For example,with 'google' the largest searching motor you can find everything you want to know. Additionally, many countries you have not gone yet are closer with the internet. Thus, computer help to get information about countries have different culture and language.

    Next, another important advantage of computers is that people comunicate each other by using email. Before this, people had to write mail on the paper and this mail was reached receiver one or two days later. On the other hand, by computer, mail reach reciever one or two minutes later. Additionally, It makes easy many works in bussiness life. This method also help to decrease telephone bills because many people prefer sending email instead of calling.

    Also, the last benefit of computers is that people can type or calculate everything with using computer programs. It helps people to save their times and to make without mistake.

    All in all, as far as I am concerned, I agree to say that people benefit from computers by learning a lot of information, sending mail quickly and making typing and calculating everytinng in the short time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by santana

    Some people hold the opinion that computers have made life easier and more convenient , but others take a negative attitude. In my opinion, I agree that computers provide many opportunities for people and they also they help people for in many different subjects areas. My argument for this view goes as follows.

    [The introduction is not bad, but there are some improvements you can make. You did not introduce your third body paragraph (computer as a calculator and time saver). From the style point of view I see two main issues:
    "In my opinion, I agree". This means, in someone else's opinion you disagree. Do not use these two expressions on top of each other.
    "My argument for this view goes as follows". This does not really carry any information for the readers. They expect to see your arguments in the following anyway. If you feel more comfortable ending your introduction with a sentence like that, maybe use "In the following, these points will be elaborated in more detail."]

    Firstly, one of the main advantages [it's one of many advantages, therefore it's plural] of computers is that people can learn find a lot of information by using the internet. For example, with 'google' the largest searching motor search engine you can find almost everything anything you might want to know. Additionally, many countries you have not gone visited yet are appear much closer with the internet. Thus, computers help us to get information about countries that have different cultures and languages.

    Next, Another important advantage of computers is that people communicate with each other by using email. Before this its invention people had to write paper based mail on the paper and this mail was which reached the receiver one or two days later. In contrast, by email the message is received On the other hand, by computer, mail reach reciever only one or two minutes later. Additionally, It makes easy many works in bussiness life a lot easier. This method also and it can even help to decrease telephone bills because many people prefer sending emails instead of calling.

    ["Next, another important advantage..". Just say "Another important advantage..". "Another" is already your linking word, showing that the next point is going to be discussed. Other than that quite a good paragraph.]

    Also Finally, the last another benefit of computers is that people can type or calculate everything with by using computer programs. It helps people to save their times and to make without less mistakes.

    [You could give some examples for this point and develop this paragraph a bit more.]

    All in all, as far as I am concerned, I agree to say that people benefit from computers by learning finding a lot of information, sending mail quickly and making typing and calculating everyt[h]inng in the short time so much faster.

    [Same thing as in the introduction "as far as I am concerned, I agree..." It is already your opinion, you don't have to say you agree with your opinion.]
    4-4.5
    Good structure.
    Good use of linking words. (Don't overdo it, duplication and pleonasms will lead to a lower mark. Always be careful when it's about your opinion.)
    Some grammar problems (some easily avoidable... pay attention to singular and plural)
    Please use a spell checker (even though there are not that many spelling errors.)

    Good luck

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    Eager! santana's Avatar
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    thank you very much lukas for your comments.
    take care
    santana

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