santana Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Some people to plan activities for their free time very carefully. Others choose not to make any plans at all for their free time. Compare the benefits of planing free-time activities with the benefits of not making plans. Which do you prefer- planing or not planing for your leisure time? Today people work very much and their free time is precious. So planing free time benefit people for may ways such as doing more enjoyable things , relaxing activities and saving more time to visit family and friends. I prefer to plan my leisure time for these reasons and I would like to put them in the following way. Firstly, in the bussiness world free time is very valuable for people and they want to spend their time properly. For instance, I usally plan my weekend a few days ago and I know what I will doing in the weekend. By this way, I can make many enjoyable activities in the same day such as going cinema, playing bowling or reading a book. If I were not plan my leisure time, I would spend on a lot of time for thinking what I am doing. Another benefit of planing free time is that people have time to meet friens and family. I live far away my family and I visit them regularly. When I plan my weekend properly, I have more time to spend my family. From all these reasons above, palning leisure time has many advantages such as doing many funny things in the same day and spending more time with family. Thus, people always benefit from planed life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lukas Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 Some people to plan activities for their free time very carefully. Others choose not to make any plans at all for their free time. Compare the benefits of planing free-time activities with the benefits of not making plans. Which do you prefer- planing or not planing for your leisure time? [Restate/Rephrase the topic. I.e. "Some people like to plan their free time ahead while others prefer not to make any plans at all."] Today people work very much and their free time is precious. So planning free time benefits people for in many ways such as doing more enjoyable things, relaxing activities and saving more time to visit family and friends. I prefer to plan my leisure time for these reasons and I would like to put them in the following way. [Don't announce what you are going to do. It sounds to me like you would write "Now I am writing the introduction and it goes as follows."] Firstly, in the bussiness world free time is very valuable for people and they want to spend their time properly. For instance, I usally plan my weekend a few days ago ahead [ago is the past!] and I know what I will doing in on the weekend. By tThis way, I can make many enjoyable activities enjoy many different activities in the same day such as going cinema, playing bowling or reading a book. If I were not plan my leisure time, I would spend on a lot of time for thinking what I am doing to come up with an idea what to do next. Another benefit of planning free time is that people have time to meet friens and family. I live far away from my family and I visit them regularly. When I plan my weekend properly, I have more time to spend with my family. FromFor all these reasons above [A better way to start the concluding paragraph is "In conclusion" or "To sum it up"], palning(!) leisure time has many advantages such as doing many funny exciting things in the same day and spending more time with the family. Thus, people always benefit from planned life. A good attempt. I believe "Compare" topics are always a bit harder than the more frequent "Take a point of view" topics. Look up the proper structure for a compare essay. One of the links in my signature should lead you to some useful information. Did you mean "planning"? I would guess in the topic source it is spelled correctly. If you're not sure about the spelling of a word and it is mentioned in the topic, there is no reason to make a mistake. I would give this essay 3.5 - 4 The structure could definitely be improved. The conclusion is a bit weak. I don't believe you showed that people always benefit from planning. There are a lot of mistakes (especially spelling) that you could easily avoid. Keep practising. Good Luck! I just realised, for whatever reason my signature (and the links in it) is not showing. Tips on essay structure and strategy | More tips on essay structure and strategy | Essay simulator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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