Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or activities?

[Azi]

Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Certain types of people are attracted toward dangerous sports or activities. They are interested in fame and money, taking risks, and discovering new things.

First of all, some people who engage in dangerous activities to follow fame and money. They try to get attention by doing risky activities such as jumping from tall buildings, climbing vertical cliffs, and jumping with motorcycles over cars. In this way, they can be in the title of newspaper and heading of news in television, and also they can make more money when they get fame.

Also, people who enjoy extreme activities like taking risks. They would like to challenge their abilities and potentials. They feel a sense of satisfaction when they come face to face with their fears while cliff diving, shark fishing, and skydiving. In addition, going through a dangerous experience gives them courage and confidence to overcome their daily problems that may arise.

Furthermore, someone who plays dangerous sports enjoys discovering new things. They feel sensation when they experience extreme sports that are new for them, especially when they know many people can’t experience like that.

In conclusion, many people try to get famous, rich, and new experience, but some of them use dangerous sports or activities to get them. They feel a sense of satisfaction from having conquered any personal fears or weakness.

[vertical_horizon]

Good morning Azi :),

 

Let me go straight to the point. Your essay has a very clear structure (which I love); and IMO, all of the three reasons are very valid points. What you need to watch out for is some grammar and phrasing mistakes. And one thing I want to note is your being a little bit too sure when using comfirmative sentences. When the topic asks "why...", I think you should answer with "maybe because..." instead of "IS because...". Especially in this case, since you cannot read people's mind, I feel such sentences as the opening sentences in paragraphs 2 and 3 are too confirmative and might invite doubts from the readers.

 

Overall, yours is a very good essay by ideas. I do think if you be more careful interms of phrasing and waive the them together more smoothly, you'll be sure to get a 5.5-6.0 for these ideas. But for now, I think it will get a 4.5/6.0.

 

Best of the best to you,

 

Phuong

 

Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

 

Certain types of people are attracted toward dangerous sports or activities. They are interested in fame and money, taking risks, and (should be 'or' or 'and/or') discovering new things.

 

First of all, some people who engage in dangerous activities to follow fame and money. They try to get attention by doing risky activities such as jumping from tall buildings, climbing vertical cliffs, and jumping with motorcycles over cars. In this way, they can be in the titles of newspaper and headings of news in television, and also they can make more money when they get fame.

 

Also, people who enjoy extreme activities may like taking risks. They would like to challenge their abilities and potentials. They feel a sense of satisfaction when they come face to face with their fears while cliff diving, shark fishing, and skydiving. In addition, going through a dangerous experience gives them courage and confidence to overcome their daily problems that may arise.

 

Furthermore, some people may play dangerous sports because they enjoy discovering new things. They feel sensation when they experience extreme sports that are new for them, especially when they know many people can’t experience like that.

 

In conclusion, many people try to get famous, rich, and new experience, but some of them use dangerous sports or activities to get them. They feel a sense of satisfaction from having conquered any personal fears or weakness.