jacob27

Well, she _wants_ me to go. And that's why she says we should end it _now_. She don't want a long distrance relationship or moving anywhere. Why am I so worried about this? The older I get, the more I start worrying about my personal life, perhaps just as much as I am worried about economics Ph.D. Time is running out for me. If I go for a Ph.D. I know the life in school is going to be hard, with little time left for social life and who says I'll meet someone I like so much again? I never met anyone like her before. BTW, I don't want anyone to think that I think lowly of myself that I'll never have a girlfriend if I move to MN. It's just I also like her a lot and the longer I have known her the more I liked her even though I am not 100% sure if she is "the one" (but then, who says I'll fit well in UMN program?). There is a lot of randomness and I have to make some serious sacrifices either way.

Thanks for all the comments. I still don't feel better though because I know that: 1. The long distance relationship won't work for 5 years (she is in no mood for that) and 2. she is irreplaceable.. I saw several comments saying that it's not worth it to give up graduate school for a girl but isn't that what Chris Silvey did? He is preparing to be a father now. I think that's what matters more. Though, he was married before going to Cornell. But how do I know we're fortuned to break up? I would feel much better if she outright rejected me for reasons other than the graduate school. And she doesn't want to have any relationship if I leave. If I leave, then that's end of story :-(

Even though I am wait-listed at UMN and becoming an economist has been my goal for many many years, I sometimes start having emotional outbursts and start wishing that they reject me so that I don't have to make some very hard choices. My significant other and the person with whom I have been obsessed for over a year already told me that she does not want to take our relationship further because she has no plans to leave this city, her career is here. Is she too selfish? I don't know. Her culture does value a successful career a lot. I am so sad. I don't know what to do. I feel that by opting for a PhD, I will be forfeiting my best chance to being happy. At the same time UMN is the best chance of reaching the goal of my life. It'd be an honor to attend their program. In addition, getting into the Economics Ph.D. programs at the nearby universities next year is hopeless (they already dinged me). Besides losing her, going to UMN means leading a sad, poor, quiet, and lonely life of desperation for many years. I fear that even if I succeed in obtaining a Ph.D. I'll be 30something, single, and at the bottom of the economics job market food chain. Another fear is that no interesting woman in her early 20s would want to date me at that point, or at least my choices will be very limited. What should I do? I am also applying to some terminal Masters programs in quantitative finance which seem like a good compromise. She said that she could wait for me if it could take just one year. I am sure there are quant jobs in this area. It almost seems like a miracle that this wonderful person _and_ UMN haven't rejected me yet, but I known I can't have them both :-( I already thought about the possibility of applying to Ph.D. program nearby AFTER I become a quant and I concluded that it will be too late to start a PhD then. I'll be relatively old (1-2 years older), with a huge education loan, and I won't feel like working on a degree until I am 35.