Hello,
Please comment on my essay if you can. It is from the online section for the Manhattan Gmat, exam 3. I am taking the GMATS in 3 days--> AHHH!
ESSAY QUESTION: The following appeared in a newspaper editorial during the holiday shopping season:
"Americans spend far too much of their time buying and consuming non-essential goods. Studies show that, on average Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. As such, it is no secret why America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries. Instead of spending their time productively, Americans are wasting time through frivolous consumption. In order to counteract this trend, Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development--by, for example, pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
YOUR RESPONSE: An editorial in a newspaper states that Americans are spending too much of their time buying and consuming non-essential goods, instead of focusing their time on personal and communal development. Although the argument may seem strong at first glance, a detailed analysis reveals that there are many flaws in the line of reasoning used to reach this conclusion.
The first major flaw is that the author failed to clarify the term non-essential goods. In terms of shopping, goods can be essential for one person, while non-essential for others. For example, a winter coat may be non-essential for a resident of Florida, however, for someone living in a much colder part of the United states like Colorado, it may be necessary.
Second, the author states that on average, Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping, but does not provide information on the what Americans do with the rest of the 3/4 of their time. If Americans spend this time focusing on education and volunteering in the community, the author's argument becomes invalid.
The author also assumes that there is a relationship between competition with other countries and personal and communal development. The author fails to make a solid connection between the use of time by Americans and the use of time by other countries. If Americans spend less time consuming goods, it may obstruct the economy, which will cause America to continue to lose its competitive edge to other countries.
In conclusion, the argument that Americans should be spending more time on personal and communal development and less time buying and consuming is unsound. In order to strengthen the argument, the author should consider counter examples and strengthen underlying assumptions.