CrazyandLazy

My suggestions --------------- 1.You should compare the things I have changed and hightlighted because these are bad grammar errors. I am not going to explain the correct grammar pattern since that will be a lot of work for me. Instead, you should ask your teacher to tell you why I underlined or changed it. 2. You still don't understand unified paragraphs in your 1st Essay. Here is a rough sketch. Intro Paragraph Reason 1+Examples Reason 2+Examples Conclusion base on your given reasons For each paragraph there should be a Topic Sentence, which starts the paragraph. What follows is a connecting sentence. After that comes examples. 3. Make sure you fully understand the topic before you write or you will mess up. 4. I may not be, "always" correct. Ask other people if you have doubts :) . And in case you are wondering, I am on school break so I am very bored these days and have time to kill. 5. Your 1st essay = bad. Your 2nd essay is very good. 1st --- I agree with the statement that television, newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities. When starting out do not repeat the statement if it is too long. Instead rewrite in your own words. Everyday we come to know something new about any of the celebrities by means of television, newspapers or any other media. Everyday we find/see/hear In the television, we watch various shows on celebrities’ lives. For instance, what they would like to eat and what not, which brand is their favorite, when and where they would like to make a trip, and so on. For example, media has been paying so much attention on Britney Spears recent years. Even media has been moving all the way with her. Sometimes, media even reachinto to their bedrooms too. If we talk about newspapers and magazines, then they are almost the same as television. My country's daily newspapers have a special column for the public figures and they have special addition for the celebrities. Besides this, there are numerous numbers of magazines, which includes only news of celebrities. No matter what, media is in any form, they always make a queue in front of the celebrities. Wrong use of grammar here. Please ask teacher to explain. Their lives have no personal secrets and everyone knows about them through these media. I personally believe that this is the best way to get popularity for both; media as well as celebrities. Moreover, with the help of both of them companies can increase the sell of their brands. Company's profiting does not relate to your reasons of what you think of excessive media attention For example, a few days back i saw one clip on television, which shows us that how celebrities would like to dress up, when they are pregnant. One more clip shows us that Hillary Clinton would like a coffee from Dunkin' Donut shop. Good example but it just came out of nowhere and I got confused here To conclude, I would like to say that by paying so much attention in celebrities personal lives, media earns lots of money. It also helps public figures and companies to increase their bank balance. Although it affects privacy of celebrities, everyone is getting benefits from this, and because of that none of them have any objection. Wrong conclusion. You did well for the first two paragraphs but later blew it. The topic is about what you think of media that focus on celebrities. Not what the media brings for celebrities 2nd ---- I think it is more important to get an ability to read and write today than in the past. Previous time was totally different than current time. We all are living in the era of technology. As per my believe, a person should have to give a shape to his life according to the world. Doesn't relate to the topic. We all know that in the previous time people did not get enough chance to study. Also, it was the time, when only one member of the family worked, and all other members survived on his salary. Moreover, during that period, women had to take care of her children only. She did not have to worry about the money. It was like a custom that men always earned money, and women took care of family. For example, my grandmother had studied up to fourth grade, and she got married at the age of sixteen. Funny example ;D j/k On the contrary to the previous time, now it is necessary for everyone togo to the college. First of all, we all would like to be independent. I would like to give my own example here. My mom always takes money from my dad, but for me, I do not like to get the money from him for my personal expenses. Even I do not[avoid wrinting in don't, doesn't, won't, etc in essays] like to ask to my husband too. And I imagined you were a guy resu hahaha Not because they do not like this, but because I personally think that I have to do something at least for myself. Other than above mention reasons, one more important thing is, today, nobody’s job is safe. I mean it is the time when each and every member of the family has to give his or her contribution to the family. For instance, if something will happens to my job, then at least my husband is there to look after all of us, and vice a versa. To conclude, I can say that with the help of the education, we can withstand in front of the storm of recessionAmericans will laugh at this or layoffs. As now a days, we hear everywhere about the layoffs and economic fall. So, I think education is the best arm to fight against all of these.

First up let me just say that this was a much better essay than the last one you wrote. It does not have as much complex grammar as before. Plus, you really gave a bunch of good examples. This may be because the topic was very familiar to you :) . Anyways, you still have some errors which can be neglected. I rewrote correction in bold. Text in Italian Script should be cut or rewritten.. Since you appreciate my correctionslast time, I will share my essay tips. When writing essays always think about the rough sketch of what you are going to write.When you have difficult topics it is best to develope ideas and write fast. That way you can have time to edit out the bad parts. The next thing in good essays is that the writing should be smooth for the readers. Every paragraph should have a good or broad Topic Sentence. Following the Topic sentence should be ideas, examples, facts.that fits smoothly. You can understand this concept by doing the "Insert Text" question in the Reading Section of TOEFL and of course, praticing. With these two things I metioned above plus good grammar and good intros/conclusions, you will get a very good score. Well that's it. I hope you do well and if you need anything just ask. In my opinion, it is good that teenagers have jobs while they are still students. This is really a brilliant idea to make them independent. They can learn new things about life; for example, how to manage with time, how to save money. It gives them [confidence] in themselves. If the teenagers are doing jobs, then they do not have to ask their parents for money. They can manage by themselves for their expenses. By doing this, they can keep their privacy as usual; otherwise they would have to open themselves in front of their caregivers to get monetary help. They can get new experiences about life. As they have to study, and side by side they have to do job; this way of life teaches them time management. My grandmother always told me that a person can be successful in his life, if he manages time. As per her saying, by this way, teenagers will learn very important lesson of their life. I think this is the best way to teach them the importance of money. As they have to handle their financial problems by themselves, they understand values of money and its savings. Besides these, they have to keep control on shopping; otherwise it will put them in financial crisis. By this, they can get good decision power that what to purchase and what not. In coclusion/To conclude/Lastly, I would like to say that by this way, teenagers learn so many important skills, which may be helpful for their career as well as their future life. By doing jobs in their early teen life, they get such a confidence in themselves, and they can feel proud about themselves. For countries, which do not have such a tradition, they also have to think about this. This is really a good way to make them ready for their future lives.

I do partially agree with the statement that it is always best to tell the truth. I partially agree with the statement of always telling the truth. Truth is such a thing that, to live with it, we need inner strength. Truth is something that needs inner strength to live with. It is not easy to be trustworthy. Sometime it is long term beneficiary while at the starting it looks harmful and vice a versa. This part I did not understand-_- but I think you were trying to say, "It is not always easy to tell the truth. On certain occasions, it is not a good idea to tell the truth." To elaborate my view, I would say that sometime it is good to walk on the way of truth. On the contrary, sometime it is harmful, to speak truth. You just repeated what you said in your introduction. This is what ETS hates. What I would write here is, "To elaborate my view, I will write about when one should or should not tell the truth." After that I would write an example of when telling the truth is the better choice. Before taking any decision we have to think about its consequences. I personally believe that if my lie can save others lives then I won’t mind to speak lie, but I would never speak lie to save dishonest person. This is a good example you should write about but be more specific. We all are familiar with an idiom,” Truth is God.” But it is true when it is helpful to someone. If it comes with lots of trouble in anyone’s life then it is good to stick with lie. A perfect topic sentence but it is with errors. It should be like this. "We all are familiar with the idiom,” Truth is God.” But this is not always the case. For example, one of our relative got some health problem during his business trip. We have never been told this to his wife. As by telling her, we won’t give her stress, and also her husband would be fine in few days. So, there is no need to tell her truth and give her tension. Great example but with few grammar errors. I'll fix it for you:). For example, one of our relative got ill during his business trip. But we chose not to tell this to his wife becuase if we told her, she will have stress and also her husband may be health again in few days. In this example, there is no need to tell her the truth and give her tension In short its all depend on the situation, whether we have to speak truth or lie. I would cut this part because you already mentioned it before. To conclude, I would say it doesn’t matter, whether we speak true or lie. Main important thing is how it affects others life or how are the consequences it has:rolleyes: Good ending but a little short for me. Soooo tired now:). I hope this helps you see your problems. Please remember that I do not want to bring you down or make you look bad ok? I justwant to help you with my honest opinion. Oh...wordy means too much big words. Good luck!

I think your essay is too wordy and has grammatical problems, plus it is not very organised. It is good that you want to show your skills but I read that ETS hates wordy essays...

I am Burmese and I took the test in Cambodia. I was going to take it in Bangkon but things didn't work out. Why'd you ask? What made you curious?

Well I got good,fair,good and got the same 26 as you. I dunno how they really calculate these scores. Anyways, I printed the online score report and send it to my university though I also have the free score report sent there. 'Exit Evaluation Survey' = I dunno -_-

After your test date, it takes a full 15 business days that is equivalent to 21 days or 3 weeks for them to show your result. Good luck :)

So I got Reading = 26 Listening = 29 Speaking = 26 Writing = 29 Total = 110 Not a bad score but I am really suprised that I did not get a higher mark in Reading. Maybe I was too tired becuase of the five passages with experimental questions**.Like always I never get 100% anything *sigh*. I think I should have gotten 30 in both reading and writing. Speaking score is right since I messed up on the academic lecture speaking question. Anyways thanks to all who gave info when I requested. I hope you all good luck!!!

For reading passages it is completely different from the examples that you do on the official ETS book. It is much harder! I think Longman passages are very identical to the actual reading test. I can't remember any of the passages since I was really tired after the exam and I tend to erase everything after all my exams -_-, sorry. I do remember the writing topics. For Integrated I had to write opposing facts of animals in zoos in accordance to the reading passage and listening passage. For Independent, I had to write about my thought on people spending less time cooking in the next ten years. Weird topic but I did ok.

Read the passage first. You should take not more than 5 minutes. After that answer the questions with the rest of 15 minutes. If you want, I can post later with my notes I made which I left at home.

Hey you took the test on Nov.24 right? If so did you get 5 passages? I got 5 passages and I was really pooped after listening section.

111 is a cool number and is considered a high score. I just took the test yesterday. I am only worried about my speaking skills. It's really weird for me to talk to a computer though I've been speaking English since Kindergarden.

It was so god damn long! I was unlucky and got additional research questions and had to do 5 long reading passages. There was a new kind of question where you have to check boxes to questions concerning about the whole passage; kinda like a summary question but with specific details. I started the test at 4p.m and finished around 8p.m. I never took a test this long before. Even my engineering exams in college is only 3 hours long. It wasn't hard but it was very tiring. I dunno the results yet but here is what I think. Reading= o.k Listening=o.k Speaking= stumbled a lot on the 5th task Writing=1st task superb 2nd task=did o.k but it wasn't a very good topic to write about. It was about cooking>_> After the test I had a headache and my arms tired from holding the mouse for a long time. I am just glad it's over. Anyways, does anyone know when results come out? My instructor told me 3 weeks. That's a very long time....

Well I wish you good luck. For me the hardest part of TOEFL is just registering. Their customer service is horrible. I haven't taken my test yet but I hope it goes smooth.

Thanks sana that info really helps. I hope everything goes well. I am only worried about speaking and writing because I don't have anyone to revise my english. I'll post if I have any further questions later:)