messiah

I have got a reply from ETS stating that there were problems in all the test centers in india.here is the reply.Hope there will be a retest. messiah Regarding your inquiry: ETS has been informed that all India test centers have reported random problems with the IVR systems during the August 21, 2004 TSE administrations. Please direct further inquiries to IPEM since they have been made aware of this matter. We apologize for the inconveniences you experienced during your test.

hello elsie!1 Nice to know that u r from the same batch!!I had guessed that u will be from puthupally center. Obvoisly i know everyone from our center.Do u remember a Priya George who was your senior ?She is now in CMC,Vellore.And that Career seminar was in our final year.At that time i had a peculiar feature of tonsured head too!!LOL. Are u studying full time 4 FPGEE now. you can also contact me at messiahc@yahoo.com messiah

hello elsie!! glad 2 know that u too studied in MGU.I may be knowing u too.Whats your name,batch,center.I was in 1996-2001 batch,in Cheruvandoor center.Now I'm in CMC,Vellore. messiah

hello Elsie there were some troubl e in hearing the questions too.Not only the last 2,but all the 9!! My test was thru phone.How was yours.was it thru tape recorder.I sure am praying that it will go fine.ETS has not yet responded.what are u doing now? all the best. messiah

Dear pal this was the same set i got!!But most of the time the IVR system was not working properly & when i complained about that I was told that it is a problem with the software & nothing can be done about it!! that is the response that i got from the center authorised by ETS.!!!I have send a mail to the indian Agency that conducts the TSE.Hope to hear from u soon.I pray taht none of my pals had a similar experience!!

hello salam faris congrats buddy.U have made it!!We are counting on al your prayers to clear this aug 21 test.Thanks 4 ur tips!! all the best!! messiah

Hello Elsie!! thanks a lot 4 those wonderful tips!!! i really need to clear the TSE this time.And i always speak fast.I am trying to bring that down.Also I'm confident & optimistic!! ALL THE BEST FOR ALL WHO ARE TAKING 8-21 TSE. U bet prayer sare being said 4 u & all! messiah.

Late to school Teacher: Why were you late? Student: Sorry, teacher, I overslept. Teacher: You mean you need to sleep at home too!

Professor bites back Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest. The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time.Then, halfway through the lecture, he began."They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France." The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door. "Young ladies," said the professor with a broad smile, "the next plane doesn't leave till tomorrow afternoon."

3rd Grade Quiz A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students, Johnny. ''I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!'' The teacher had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office. While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agrees to take the test. '' What is 3x3? '' ”'9.'' ''What is 6 x 6 ?'' ''36.'' And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. The principal looked at the teacher and told her he thought Johnny belonged in third grade. ''Let me ask him some questions. What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'' ''Legs.'' ''What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'' ''Pockets.'' The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, ''Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I missed the last two questions.''

Money Back A realty salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. 'That customer is going to come back here pretty mad,' he said to his manager. 'Should I give him his money back?' ' Money back?' roared the manager... 'What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat!'

Laughter Laughter We all know that laughter is the best medicine. But it's a lot more than just that. Studies show that people with a good sense of humour live longer than those without one. Amazing isnt it? So is a lot more stuff about laughter. Read on. For instace, it's been found that when a person laughs, the level of insulin in the body goes up. This is a fantastic breakthrough in the field of research for diabeties. Accordingly then, over years, a good sense of humour may just help do away with diabetes. We all know that we have a funny bone in our body. The general perception is that when we hit our elbow against a wall, table or any hard object, we feel a jingle all the way up our arm and that, for us is our funny bone. Wait ! there's much more to it. There is a bone in the human body known as the funny bone and it's connected to the spinal cord with a nerve called the 'verneleus'. This nerve is more active in people who have a developed sense of humor and almost inactive in those who hardly laugh. When a person laughs, this nerve, sort of, sends a message to the bone which increases the absorption of calcium in the body, which over time eliminates the risk of bone cancer. Research shows that laughing is extremely benefitial for eyesight, arthritis, muscle pains and cynus and malaria and kidney failure and....... CAUGHT YOU ! Didn't I ? What ? Are you nuts or something? Laughter has nothing to do with insulin, eyes, calcium, your teeth, your toenails or your cat's fur. For all you know you might be in deep trouble if your laugh has religious or racial undertones and chances are that your professor will throw you out if you chose to experiment with laughter in the middle of a lecture. If you're a nine year old laughing while your mom is scolding you, well sonny.....there's surely a spanking coming your way. Well cynus, bones and teeth may not be, BUT SERIOUSLY, laughter is known to affect the mind if not the body. When our mind encounters what it perceives as humorous, it's psychological reaction is to laugh. Research on laughter, though limited because it produces only intangible results, indicates that there are physiological benefits from laughter including an increase in certain antibodies, a reduction of specific stress hormones, and an increased tolerance to pain. For an Israeli study, published in the November 1995 issue of the journal Pain, 20 people each watched either a funny, repulsive, or neutral flick. Before and during the films, each underwent a standard test for pain tolerance -- they had to keep one arm submerged in a tank of icy water and rate the discomfort caused. People watching the humorous flick showed a marked increase in tolerance levels. By developing a keen sense of humor, we stimulate our own, and possibly other's, wit and laughter. Our physical and mental stress levels decrease and our level of overall well being increases as we incorporate humour into our lifestyles. Indeed, humour may be the best medicine to keep us emotionally, mentally, and physically fit. So do remember to laugh at everything you find funny. It would definitely put you in a positive frame of mind and help you deal better with what comes your way. The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. Mark Twain, Author (1835-1910)

Forecast (By Superstrong Beerwala) The forecasts given below are purely for entertainment purposes and do not contain even a small dosage of seriousness. We take no responsibility for the consequences that may arise if you choose to follow our advice. However in the rare occasion that you happen to somehow benefit from these predictions please forward your cheques of Rs. 101 or more to our office. Our astrologer, Shri Superstrong Beerwala, would greatly appreciate it. The forecasts are in no particular order and one may be longer than the others to preserve their continuity. Libra . Using complex chemical equations, I have found the best place for you to study. Studying at lat.38'11 and long46'13 would help you most in these exams. Geographically, this is somewhere in sub Saharan Africa. It's a little out of your way - but hey ! Stop complaining, success never came easy to anyone. Pisces . This week travel is on the cards. It's a good time according to the stars so make that journey now. But hey ! You can't use any mode of transport apart form walking, and the distance you travel must be within 2 km or else something bad will happen. But it's a good time to travel anyway, so take a walk round your block. This is the best time. Aries . Remember that mosquito you swatted this week, years ago ? Well its payback time sweetie. That poor departed soul got reincarnated as a mathematics professor. So if you, or your child just gave a math exam this week, say bye bye to your marks ! Aquarius . There has been a very big gas leak on an alien chemical plant on Mars. And that, unfortunately, is the planet you are ruled by this week. So wherever you go, please carry an oxygen mask along. And whatever you do, don't light a match. The gas is inflammable. Gemini . All those of you appearing for an exam anytime during the next three weeks or so must, at all costs, refrain from any sort of...aa.. well.. physical activity with the opposite sex. So no walking your respective boyfriends/girlfriends home. And no matter what this coloumn says next week, this condition holds. Leo . This is not a good time to cheat. While secret tapes and tehelka recordings are still hot, who knows, maybe your exam hall is being watched over. Try studying instead. A good time would be 2 to 4 am every Tuesday. Cancer . Jupiter is in line with Pluto, which makes lord Zigga rule. He is the lord of chaos and misplaced articles. So pray like crazy to him, and if you're really lucky your answer sheet will be misplaced and you'll pass. By benefit of doubt. Taurus . If your result is this week, do this. Use lots of hair gel to make your hair stand, wear mismatched clothes and walk backwards. Then stand on one leg and look at your name on the list using a pair of binoculars. This may not help you get excellent grades, but it'll sure make everyone laugh. Virgo . All those taking an entrance exam this week are advised to sit near the entrance. Sitting there would send positive vibrations to your psychological metabolic perception of an entrance exam and will increase your concentration a lot. Nonsense..you'll be able to run out faster in case of a fire. Sagittarius . Be a little careful of water this week. There may be an accident. So this is clearly no time for you to check your body's water retention powers - if you have to go, just go. And no stunts. Don't even drink water during an exam, if a question scares you, you might choke. Capricorn . After about 250 years the moon is in this position again. Well, it's like this, when the moon is aligned in this special way, we have this really big high tide in all our coastal areas because the gravitational pull of the moon on the earth is exceptionally high. So don't go near the seashore for a week and wear the heaviest pair of boots you can find. We don't want you being pulled away to the moon now, do we ? Scorpio . Vous avez la possibilite de travailler ou d'aller etudier le francias dans un pays francophone. Vous en discutez avec un etudiant et vous tenez compte de ses arguments... What !!! You DON'T know French ? Well... What are you waiting for, go learn it. From this week your forecast will always be in French.

MY ASS This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant. This program is known as "Millennia Year Application Software System" (MYASS). "Next Monday there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS. We have not addressed networking aspects yet, so currently only one person at a time can use MYASS. This restriction will be removed after MYASS expands. Some employees have begun using the program already. This morning I walked into a subordinate's office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MYASS. Some of the less technical people may be somewhat afraid of MYASS. Last week my secretary said to me, "I'm a little nervous, I never put anything in MYASS before." I helped her through the first time and afterward she admitted that it was relatively painless and she was actually looking forward to doing it again, and was even ready to kiss MYASS. There have been concerns over the virus that was found in MYASS upon initial installation, but the virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MYASS. In the future, however, protection will be required prior to entering MYASS. This database will encompass all information associated with the business. As you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want in MYASS. As MYASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be commonplace for a supervisor to hand work to an employee and say, "here, stick this in MYASS." It will be a great day when we need data quickly and our employees can respond, "Here it is, I just pulled it out of MYASS."

Women Kinds of women, according to the computer terminology: INTERNET woman: Woman of difficult access. SERVER woman: Always busy when you need her. WINDOWS woman: Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her. EXCEL woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs. SCREENSAVER woman: She is not worth anything, but at least she is fun! RAM woman: She forgets everything you say when you disconnect her. HARD-DISK woman: She remembers everything, FOREVER. MULTIMEDIA woman: She makes horrible things look beautiful. USER woman: She messes up everything she does and she asks always more than she needs. CD-ROM woman: She is always faster and faster. E-MAIL woman: Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense. VIRUS woman: Also known as "wife"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything.