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Hi there, There are few problems that I can point out. 1- Introduction: It should begin with something general and then slowly get into detail. For example, you could say: In recent years, large corporations have became integrated part of the society. They create employment opportunities; provide training for inexperienced graduates and sponsor for major events. Some people with shallow perspectives could question the benefit and the necessity of these activeities and consider them to be fuitle. However, it is widely accpeted that promoting the well-being of the societis and environments have a direct positive impact on the perception of a company. As a result it could help them promote their products or assist them during the financial difficulties. 2- If you are considering two irrelevant points, they should be in different paragraphs (your second paragraph). And finally I do think that your essay is too short. Other than that you get your message across and it is relatively easy to follow. Good luck. p.s : English is not my first language, so if you think my points are not justified ignore them.

Hi there, I think your essay is easy to follow and more importantly answered the question clearly. Also, examples are good and relevant and support your argument. But I do recommend you to improve your grammar. For example, you have written "Some would argue that we are to technology dependent" Is this suppose to be "to" or "too"? Keep practising, I am sure you can get a very good score. Cheers

I am not an expert. I do believe you have very good vocabulary and and use a lot of examples however, for me, it was difficult to follow. Also try to avoid using a same words over and over. Hope it helps.

Hi there, I would like to help but my major is different from yours. I think you should be able to get admission from any of them. you have a great GPA. I don't know which one is the best for studying "Health Policy, e-Governance, ICT for Development", though I think you should be fine! you may want to contact the admission office and tell them about your GPA and GRE results. They may give an indication of what is minimum admission GPA and GRE scores. Sorry If I couldn't help you any further. Cheers