Kilani

Can somebody evaluate my independent writing?

Kilani posted a topic in TOEFL

Here are two essays: First essay: It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. I disagree with the idea that calls to open a restaurant in my neighborhood. It is an idea that may bring a lot of problems. Building a restaurant in a residential region leads residents to be annoyed toward this phenomenon. There are many reasons that why I disagree with building a restaurant nearby my house. First, noise voices that might come from the restaurant are a big annoying thing. For instance, people talks, running machines, cars engines, and cars horns are voices that will make noise in the region. It is hard enough to prevent or to reduce these voices or even to ask the owner of the restaurant to prevent them. Therefore, If you knew that a restaurant may open in your neighborhood, you have to be well-aware of this annoying phenomenon. Second, food smell that comes from the restaurant will be existed 24/7. It is not all about food smell, but it is also about the bad odors that the restaurant will make such as; burnt oils, produced sludge, and garbage odors. Apparently, the presence of these odors will not allow you to breath clear air. For instance, if you have a garden in your house, you might have the desire, even for a one minute, to breath natural air without smelling these bad odors. As a result, this might affect your mood and may get you mad and upset all the time. Third, a lot of people who eat from this restaurant will keep going to the place you live and for the vehicles that will make the street like a highway street. This phenomenon will make you feel unsafe all the time. For instance, if you have children, you will not be able to send them even to the supermarket to buy something for their own. That because of the large number of cars outside your house. To sum up. Building a restaurant near the place that you live might bring unfavorable phenomenons to the place. So, If I heard once a time that a restaurant may be opened in the place, I will do my efforts to prevent this and I will motivate all my neighbors to take a serious reaction toward this idea. Second essay: A person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town or city? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay. My country is a great place that have a lot of interesting sides. It has a city, Petra, which is one of the seven wonders of the world. Therefore, so many people over the world tend to visit Petra each year. So that, I advise everyone who wants to travel somewhere to visit my country, Jordan. If somebody desire to visit my country and asked me about the matters that make it interesting? I will tell him/her about the following. First, Jordan has many historical places. These places have been found for a very long period of time. That let someone cannot imagine that there is a kind of marvelous places and pretty life were found before all this period of time! For instance, Petra is an entire city that is sculptured in stones. You can find palaces, houses and stores are made inside stones. Therefore, there are a lot of people come to Jordan especially to see this marvelous seen. As a result, my country, mainly, depends on tourism in order to enhance its economy. Second, the weather in our country is great. For instance, some people, who I had seen before, told me “that we have never seen such a beautiful weather than the weather your country have!”. It does not get very hot in summer but it still intermediate. Moreover, it does not get that chilly weather in winter. I tell my friend who desires to visit my country that Jordan is a proper place for doing his hobbies and activities. To sum up, Jordan is that proper place that a lot of people find out to visit. It is a place that no one would regret for visiting it. So that, I advice everyone who asks me about my country to visit it and I will be the first one who will receive him/her.