yoshiyoshi

Hi! It's not that bad but I think that you need to improve grammar in this essay. You can do it at this website. "One such example is the desire of Bill Gates to make computers available at common people house. Many company did not accept this idea as they wanted the computer technology to be secret." I don't think this example shows the main issue of the essay. I don't think that it was a decision based on emotion. Maybe try finding another example? :distracted:

It was the first thing I thought about! :distracted: