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AWA Essay Review - Can someone please mention one improvement to incorporate?


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Discussing controversial topics with those with contrasting views is not useful because very few people change their minds when questioned about their core beliefs.

Discussions about controversial topics are always useful because these discussions would help us grow as human beings by making our thought processes transparent and letting us come to terms with the world around us. Whether such a discussion changes people's minds since it questions their core beliefs is undergirded on factors such as the person putting forth the discussion and the quality of communication. On top of that, the statement mentions 'contrasting views' implicate that the person putting forth the discussion is assumed to be right, which is not always true.

People attach their core beliefs to their identity. So, when they're questioned about their core beliefs, it is akin to threatening their identity. Hence, they defend themselves by refusing to change their mind. For example, the question "Does god exists?" will not be contemplated by several people because the very act of questioning goes against their beliefs. But, discussing such controversial topics requires structured communication and patience.

Starting at the top level of the thought process and digging further, disentangling each thought process, and narrowing down the set of beliefs on top of those their conclusion is built upon will not provoke them and provide a smooth transition for them to question their core beliefs. 
Additionally, when strongly validated people put forth discussions of controversial topics, people accept those thought processes and work on them.

Expecting people to change their minds immediately about a core belief does not make sense. Given time, people retrospect on their thought processes and start to think further. 

In conclusion, the way controversial topics are discussed and by whom these discussions are put forth affect the way people perceive these questions.

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On top of that, the statement mentions 'contrasting views' implicate that the person putting forth the discussion is assumed to be right, which is not always true.

 

Not sure what you mean to do with implicate. Maybe , implying or , suggesting

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discussing such controversial topics requires structured communication and patience

I think it would be good to expand on what technique could be used to communicate effectively.

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retrospect

reflect perhaps? We don't really use retrospect as a verb in the US. Not 100% sure about other Englishes.

Comments: This is a nicely reasoned essay. I agree that people often feel threatened and therefore become defensive. I also think that most people see themselves as reasonable, despite what we see in the media, and would be more willing to entertain opposing views if their interlocutor took a more neutral and perhaps even curious approach.

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Sure thing! This is a nice piece of writing.

There were a couple other minor grammar errors, too. Eg, I would say undergirded by, and Does God exist. Please note that in the US at least, the Christian god is referred to as God, with an uppercase g.

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