LOR Review - Can someone please assess the strength and level of authenticity of my LOR?

[shrijith1993]

I drafted this letter by myself for my teacher. I have low grades in my theory classes in college. 

Can you please assess the strength and authenticity of this LOR? 

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I will never forget how S solved a security problem in a poll application using bar security as an analogy. It was then that I discovered S's mental capabilities. It felt invigorating to find students engineer solutions through non-technical analysis. His tools were a pen, a piece of paper, and penetrating questions. That triggered an interest within me in guiding him to cultivate such skills.

I believe every student needs a hook to pull themselves into the skies. So, after he solved the issue, I directed him by giving him technical concepts designed as purposeful problems to solve. As I had calculated, he could grab on to the solution rapidly. I have encountered him being fixated on an issue several times, forgetting the world outside. Looking at his approach to solving each problem, I knew S had creative thought processes. As I expected, it was not long before he started challenging me with concepts he had discovered.

I decided to guide him for his final year project on captcha technology. I directed him to choose the project through self-exploration by asking himself what problems frustrated him and how he would solve them had he been the developer. Again, it was not long before he returned to me with his answer, but he brought along with him the POC. I remember the project inspectors highly appreciating the topic because of its common-day problem-solving nature.

S always had an eye for the business perspective. He could swiftly find a use for any particular concept. He always comes up with the right questions, which I find challenging to invoke within the students.

I am confident that S has astounding capabilities to achieve anything he sets his mind on. I'm proud to have been one of the hooks for S, and I'm sure you will be too if you admit him.

[Erin]

I know a lot of people will give you a hard time for writing this yourself, but they'd probably be surprised by how many people have told me that when they ask for a letter of recommendation, they're asked to write it first for the recommender and then the recommender will sign it. Most of the students of this group have been applicants to business school in the US, and they need an LoR from their boss. But I've heard the same from other students who ask their teachers to write one.

That said, here are my thoughts:

• I would start by giving context of how you know the student: S was a student in my XYZ class in DATE, etc.
• 'I will never forget how S solved a security problem in a poll application using bar security as an analogy.' doesn't ring true for me; doesn't sound like what someone would say about another person.
• In ¶2, I feel like there needs to be more insight into the intellect of S, not just general assessments of her earnestness or intelligence. I'm not sure what that would entail for security, but for teaching and education, I'd want to read something like this: S has demonstrated a finely developed sense of empathy for each student and readily adapts herself to each student, which I attribute to her background as a bicultural, bilingual child of immigrants raised in the projects of San Francisco.
• Reading the rest, I feel the same--it's a little bit too general ('He's a smart guy, has good ideas, and works hard! You should admit him!); there are thousands of extremely capable and prepared applicants for every spot in higher education. This letter really needs to drive the point home that S is uniquely qualified. For example, I would suggest possibly adding some kind of ranking (eg, 'one of the top five students I've had) or something unique ('I found S so eager to learn that I started mentoring him in some of the more advanced areas.')
• One more tip--I'm not sure of the program you're applying to, but competitive ones will want to see a good match on other dimensions--the LoR should mention other areas that set you apart as well. Did you have a unique project? An interesting background? Have you overcome any challenges to achieve anything in college?

I should mention that I have written letters of recommendation for employees and students, but I wouldn't consider myself a professional. It would be best to get the opinion of someone who actually reads letters of recommendation.

 

20 hours ago, shrijith1993 said:

I drafted this letter by myself for my teacher. I have low grades in my theory classes in college. 

Can you please assess the strength and authenticity of this LOR? 

---

I will never forget how S solved a security problem in a poll application using bar security as an analogy. It was then that I discovered S's mental capabilities. It felt invigorating to find students engineer solutions through non-technical analysis. His tools were a pen, a piece of paper, and penetrating questions. That triggered an interest within me in guiding him to cultivate such skills.

I believe every student needs a hook to pull themselves into the skies. So, after he solved the issue, I directed him by giving him technical concepts designed as purposeful problems to solve. As I had calculated, he could grab on to the solution rapidly. I have encountered him being fixated on an issue several times, forgetting the world outside. Looking at his approach to solving each problem, I knew S had creative thought processes. As I expected, it was not long before he started challenging me with concepts he had discovered.

I decided to guide him for his final year project on captcha technology. I directed him to choose the project through self-exploration by asking himself what problems frustrated him and how he would solve them had he been the developer. Again, it was not long before he returned to me with his answer, but he brought along with him the POC. I remember the project inspectors highly appreciating the topic because of its common-day problem-solving nature.

S always had an eye for the business perspective. He could swiftly find a use for any particular concept. He always comes up with the right questions, which I find challenging to invoke within the students.

I am confident that S has astounding capabilities to achieve anything he sets his mind on. I'm proud to have been one of the hooks for S, and I'm sure you will be too if you admit him.

[shrijith1993]

@Erin Thank you so much for your review. It means a lot. I won't push you but if you can review the improved version below, I'd be grateful. Thanks. 

S was my student at 'college' from the year 2011-2015. In the four years of my acquaintance with S, I had been a project guide, professor, and class coordinator. As a result, I am confident in my assessment that S can excel in a computer science master's course because of his technical capabilities, self-awareness, and growth ability.
During our brainstorming sessions for his final year project on Captcha technology, I recognized S's strong analytical skills. He broke down the problem statements with rigorous questioning and experimented with logical solutions using flowcharts and pseudocode. Moreover, I was impressed by his straightforward solution to use a hardware random number generator (HRNG) to reduce the human effort involved. 
S, through his code, showed a strong understanding of the design patterns in ASP.NET. Additionally, he showed prudence in carefully handling exceptions in the software. I attribute this proficiency to the hard work in the lab sessions where he was in the top 10% of the ardent students in the practical classes. His hard work was evident throughout the department. Every faculty, including I, have found him fixated on solving the problems whatsoever, sometimes even forgetting lunch!
S exhibited accurate self-awareness throughout this project by recognizing his extent of knowledge in the field of networks. The more he learned, the more he questioned. On top of this, he asked the right questions, which I have found especially hard to inculcate within my students. Consequently, his research was thorough, and his documentation indicated precision. Also, S focused on the project's direction, not losing himself in the minor details.
S has shown exceptional leadership leading the college's music band into numerous victories. He is aspired to by his peers, particularly for his creative adaptability. For example, once his team had insufficient instrumentalists due to unforeseen circumstances. He used the vocalists to convert the entire performance into an acapella! I believe his penetrative questions originate from his creative brain.
I am sure that S will be amongst my recommendations who excelled in their master's course and achieved remarkable careers. I'm proud to have contributed to his growth, and I'm confident you will be too if you admit him.

[HCC]

I think the wording is good, but the contents are a little ambiguous. Beyond the second paragraph, there started to be some qualitative statements without specific facts and examples. A lot of phrases can be applied to all other students, making your LoR weak in its uniqueness. I believe the letter would be far more convincing if every description about you is backed by something you actually did and put in your CV and SOP. (I think you did this only for some of "your professor's evaluations")

The strategy has two advantages. First, I assume that some specific experiences mentioned in your CV/SOP may not have hard evidence. Your professors' words, if consistent with your own description, can make your own documents more reliable and credible. However, please speak from a different perspective when talking about the same event in your LoR. Second, qualitative statements are subject to subjectivity. How "right" are your questions? How thorough is your research? You may want to simply put down some facts so that readers can judge the level of "rightness" and "thoroughness" themselves. For example, does your question refers to a problem unsolved or a phenomenon ignored in the literature? Does your research consider some important aspects that are most of the time abstracted from? If so, please put them down. Besides, stories are just much more intriguing and palatable compared to vague statements.

Edited December 8, 2021 by HCC