Kindly evaluate my essay

[suryak]

Topic: A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college

 

A uniform national curriculum in a country with high diversity in ethnics, language or nationality etc cannot be appreciated as learning levels, methods change for different students.

 

Although a uniform national curriculum for students below college would bring easy assessment, grading policy for them but such a curriculum may not be a cent percent fit for any country as some exceptions have to be accounted such as physically or mentally challenged students, student's native language, age & learning capabilities.

 

For example, a country like India where high diversity in ethnics, language is observed it does not makes sense to have a common literature curriculum for all. Also it would be a daunting task for students with disabilities following the same curriculum as they cannot pace up with normal students always.

 

A uniform national curriculum would be good but considering the above exceptions there must be changes accordingly.

[Holly Spellmann]

The first thing that stuck out to me about your essay was the length- you may want to work on expanding your ideas in each paragraph.

 

 

 

A uniform national curriculum in a country with high diversity in ethnics, language or nationality etc cannot be appreciated as learning levels, methods change for different students.

 

This is your thesis statement, and as you probably know it is the most important sentence of your essay. I would work on making it as clear and concise as possible while making a stance on the topic.

 

Rewriting your same idea:

 

A uniform national curriculum would not be beneficial to students, as demographics and educational needs vary greatly across any given country.

 

This is simpler- "ethnics (ethnicity?), language, or nationality etc" becomes "demographics"- which includes all of those things.

 

I hope this helps. I would work on sentence structure and the flow of your essay. If you have lots of time before the test, I would suggest reading as much as you can- it is great practice for writing. The more you read, the more naturally you will be able to express your ideas in writing. Articles, short stories, it doesn't even have to be entire books. Good luck :)

[purneshtripathi]

Topic: A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college

 

A uniform national curriculum in a country with high diversity in ethnics, language or nationality etc cannot be appreciated as learning levels, methods change for different students.

 

Although a uniform national curriculum for students below college would bring easy assessment, grading policy for them but such a curriculum may not be a cent percent fit for any country as some exceptions have to be accounted such as physically or mentally challenged students, student's native language, age & learning capabilities.

 

For example, a country like India where high diversity in ethnics, language is observed it does not makes sense to have a common literature curriculum for all. Also it would be a daunting task for students with disabilities following the same curriculum as they cannot pace up with normal students always.

 

A uniform national curriculum would be good but considering the above exceptions there must be changes accordingly.

 

I found the development of your point, a bit limited. A few examples on every point you have raised would have better presented the issue. Moreover, there is no example elaborating how the common grading provides easy assessment possibilities. There is no explanation in conclusion too. The composition of the essay is weak.

 

The scoring I did was on the basis of scoring guidelines present here

[purneshtripathi]

Please evaluate my essay too, if you find time. It's available here. You can leave your comments anywhere, either there or here.

 

The scoring guidelines by ETS are available here

[suryak]

Thanks for reviews.

 

@purneshtripathi Sure. I will do it by this week.