My first post. plz kindly review and rate this essay. (issue 185)

[katcha]

Issue 185. Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas- can be useful. They focus our attention on problem in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.

 

 

Scandals, because of its nature of exposing something not yet known to public, tend to attract people. Most of times, scandals used to draw people’s attention in certain problems and incidents end up reaching to the expected result, thanks to the nature. Thus, I believe the statement that scandals can be useful has a valid point based on empirical evidences insofar as the scandal is big enough or the targeted group or person is weak enough to be influenced.

 

Admittedly, there have been incidents when exposed scandals did not brought about that much attention from people due to several reasons. Clinton’s sex-scandal, for example, failed to discourage people from supporting him, because he was an excellent president to general public, no matter how unfavorable his privacy was. In this case, the scandal was neither effective nor useful, although it did draw attention from all over the world.

 

In many other cases, however, we see scandals that affect the public in all kinds of ways.

 

First of all, in the realm of business, scandals can ring a bell to assess a company’s competence or current performance. Enron scandal, for example, had a huge impact on the business community not only in the United States but also all around the world, by showing that any huge company can bankrupt if the transparency of the business is not managed. Having their accounting records forged was something that happened all the time during the business practice, but the Enron scandal certainly rang an alarm to most of them, and made them to pursue transparent business practices.

 

Secondly, in politics, scandals work as a highly useful tool to compete against each other, thus reducing the possibility of corruption and any wrong-doing in general. In the famous Watergate scandal, Nixon was accused of eavesdropping and ended up resigning from his seat. Other politicians saw how important it is to be clean before public, and not pursue illegal practices in the process and became more careful in their daily activities. Again, this clearly tells us how a scandal can focus people’s attention on something that is not often thought of.

 

Lastly, in academic realm as well, a scandal can help people to focus their attention on new perspective and thus come up with a better theory to the existing one. The famous academic scandal of Galileo stirred up the society and gave chance to public to see the world with a different perspective, under a new paradigm of helio-centric world. Likewise, new theories always start as a scandal, but many of them actually work as a tool to help others to try a different view from the one they had. Academic scandals, thus, can be used useful in that it broadens the perspective of the community whether it is proved to be true or not.

 

In sum, I believe that scandals are used as an effective tool in many ways because it does catch people’s attention in certain ways. While those who spread out the scandals should be careful in using them, we should be careful in believing and relying too much on it, because of the possibility of misleading information and wrong intention of certain groups.

[yasseramin]

your examples r excellent

 

 

only try to improve the opening para. make it more attractive and state ur position in the first sentence. neverthless, definately at least a 5 candidate

[ertda]

Katcha, there are problems with the coherence of the essay, be careful ;)

 

Issue 185. Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas- can be useful. They focus our attention on problem in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.

 

 

 

Scandals, because of its nature of exposing something not yet known to public, tend to attract people. Most of times, scandals used to draw people’s attention in certain problems and incidents end up reaching to the expected result, thanks to the nature. Thus, I believe the statement that scandals can be useful has a valid point based on empirical evidences insofar as the scandal is big enough or the targeted group or person is weak enough to be influenced.

 

Good introduction

 

Admittedly, there have been incidents when exposed scandals did not brought about that much attention from people due to several reasons. Clinton’s sex-scandal, for example, failed to discourage people from supporting him, because he was an excellent president to general public, no matter how unfavorable his privacy was. In this case, the scandal was neither effective nor useful, although it did draw attention from all over the world.

 

Very important mistake ! You start with an example from the opposite view, it attenuates your essay completely !

In many other cases, however, we see scandals that affect the public in all kinds of ways.

 

First of all, in the realm of business, scandals can ring a bell to assess a company’s competence or current performance. Enron scandal, for example, had a huge impact on the business community not only in the United States but also all around the world, by showing that any huge company can bankrupt if the transparency of the business is not managed. Having their accounting records forged was something that happened all the time during the business practice, but the Enron scandal certainly rang an alarm to most of them, and made them to pursue transparent business practices.

 

Secondly, in politics, scandals work as a highly useful tool to compete against each other, thus reducing the possibility of corruption and any wrong-doing in general. In the famous Watergate scandal, Nixon was accused of eavesdropping and ended up resigning from his seat. Other politicians saw how important it is to be clean before public, and not pursue illegal practices in the process and became more careful in their daily activities. Again, this clearly tells us how a scandal can focus people’s attention on something that is not often thought of.

 

Lastly, in academic realm as well, a scandal can help people to focus their attention on new perspective and thus come up with a better theory to the existing one. The famous academic scandal of Galileo stirred up the society and gave chance to public to see the world with a different perspective, under a new paradigm of helio-centric world. Likewise, new theories always start as a scandal, but many of them actually work as a tool to help others to try a different view from the one they had. Academic scandals, thus, can be used useful in that it broadens the perspective of the community whether it is proved to be true or not.

 

In sum, I believe that scandals are used as an effective tool in many ways because it does catch people’s attention in certain ways. While those who spread out the scandals should be careful in using them, we should be careful in believing and relying too much on it, because of

the possibility of misleading information and wrong intention of certain groups.

 

You don't conclude your essay here but rather give a different message

 

[katcha]

thanks for the comments yasseramin and ertda. I'll certainly keep ur suggestions in my mind next time i write an essay. :)

 

Btw, ertda, I always thought that it would be better if i mention opposite view in the beginning rather than in the end, coz putting the opposite idea too close to conclusion seems to weaken my final point. Am i wrong to think in that way? i mean in general?

[ertda]

I believe, it is best to first strongly support your own view and then it is possible to mention the opposite side but only if you could undermine it, here in your writing you even don't do this, in any case if you are giving a partial agreement message (which I couldn t understand ??) then this could me ok

[katcha]

With the first body paragraph, i meant to admit that there were cases when scandals were not very useful compared to many other times when scandals ended up having much influence on others. Maybe it was impossible to make it clear with a single sentence transition :0 but now i get what you are telling me. and i really appreciate for letting me know. I'll certainly be careful to clarify my position next time. thanks=)

[bimala]

Excellent Introduction, and good examples only just need few re-arrangements (Bring the negative point down)as suggested above, however end is not as strong as the introduction. Overall it is a great attempt. Kindly review mine too and please provide tips.