ertda

Real : V 370 Q 780 PP1 : V 490 Q 750 PP2 : V 400 Q 780

Don't deal with the author too much this is not an argument essay

Yes try to write in 45 minutes like the real one.

Just a point: I would make the introduction more brief.

This is from powerprep

This is ok but I m just doubtful for the last sentence.

Vijaysirohi, I would think about that fourth paragraph once more, if I were you.

I think you are not convincing in your essay, you don't provide us reasons to believe you but you try to explain everything from examples but the example you give; are they a reflection of the values or created by media, I don't think so.

Yes, this is ok, but 4th paragraph isn't necessary.

This is a good one, but just one point: I am doubtful if focusing this much on technology and inventions for this topic is right, for example, I would expect an example about a war and what people learnt from it.

This one is OK but take care of some long sentences that are hard to follow.

Your essay is generally OK, but I think it could me more coherent, you can use more transitional sentences between the paragraphs. [

Yes, that comment seems a little subjective. I just don't think that those examples are suitable for that topic. I just feel it would be better to give examples from the really (?) great discoveries. These examples from biotechnology and nasa seem monotonous research activities, but as I said this is my idea.

apprentice I think your examle is also great it could be added to for example the 2nd paragraph of my essay or a seperate one

thanks for the advice