Shingo Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Hi, this is an essay by a friend of mine. She hopes to receive some remarks. Thanks! Topic: It is said that there will be a new movie theatre near your neighbourhood. Do u agree or oppose this idea? I live in a small village outside Hanoi. Recently, it has been said that a new movie theatre will be built near my village. I am convinced that the new theatre will benefit my neighbourhood, due to some reasons I will explain in the following paragraphs. It is obvious that a new movie theatre will give our villagers an opportunity to enjoy the seventh art. Farming is the major career in my village and people have very little knowledge of many kinds of entertainment, especially movie, which benefit them a great deal spiritually. I will never forget the first time I had a chance to go to a movie theatre in Hanoi. I was so exciting that when I come home, I spent hours-on-end talking about that experience. In addition, a movie theatre will create a more exciting village. After a long working day, people in my village often stay at home watching television, which is not interesting sometimes. A new place to entertain will make their life more relaxed. Imagine that there will be a lot of couples who have a marvellous place to be with each other enjoying a romantic film. Isn’t it fantastic? Let's bring our discussion here to a more practical context. A new theatre will create more jobs for the unemployed in my neighbourhood. When operating, it requires the work of administration staff and promote the business of restaurants, shopping malls and supermarkets nearby, which will benefit our villagers. How wonderful it is when our village will be more crowded and modern? In a nutshell, I am totally of the idea of buiding a new theatre in our village. However, the thing that how we can make the most use of it moderately is another question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awhig Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 Score : 4.0 Comments: 1. Language errors at places. 2. Good point is that you have used simple ideas and language. 3. More matter is required in order to explain your stand better.This can be done by clubbing examples with points. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shingo Posted January 20, 2006 Author Share Posted January 20, 2006 Thanks a lot, Awhig. I'll tell my friend. More comments from others, pls!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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