beaconenglish

Both following (article missing; ‘following’ not appropriate) bar and pie charts illustrate the conclusion (wrong word) of mature (wrong word- you have attempted to paraphrase which is good but chosen a word which is not a correct synonym in this context) instruction. The Bar chart demonstrate (subject verb agreement) causes that why (grammar error) mature people going to (wrong tense- should be present simple) study. The Second one illustrate (subject-verb agreement) people’s views in (wrong pronoun) adult education expenses which should be shared. Adult (should be plural) decided (tense?) to study for different reasons which is related to different point of view and also different positions. (Article missing) Majority of them desire to increase their level of education to gain qualification (plural needed) or are interested in specific subject, (punctuation error- this is a new sentence) this group believe that it should be pay (tense- verb should be passive) by their own individually (??), Around average (wrong word) of them study for (article) particular target like improving in (wrong word) prospects of promotion, enhancing in (same) current job and enjoy (use the -ing form) learning and study which are think (??) that It should be pay (passive) by employer, (all of the following needs rewording to make sense) and the minimum range of adult study to find a way to alter their job or to meet new friends, that they think it should be pay because of taxpayer. (You need to put in specific data – figures from the graphs. You need a summary statement).

Very brief feedback: your word count is noticeably under - 220 words will lose you a full band on Task Response.