Benjaminzhang

To:ifedayo Thank you! I will think about it.:hmm: Ben

To:ifedayo, Thank you! I think, generally, there are two types of topics in TOEFL essay-writing. One is asking whether you support or oppose a statement, for example, topic#5, do you sopport or oppose a factory built near you community.In this type of essay,you should use strong reasons to convince other people to accept your proposal or ideas. While in other topics,like this essay, it is not an argument. You just want to make other people understand you choice.In this type of essay, if you can mention you also understand other people's preference, I think it is fine. Anyway, I thank you for reading my essay and making the comments!:) Ben

Overall, your article is good.Your points are clear and you use some compound sentences which demonstrate facility in the use of language. However, in my opinion, this essay could be more relative or more specific. That is , topic like this is a personal preference, it is hard to say which is better, eating out or at home. But, you can make your choice according to YOUR PERSONALITY,EXPERIENCE OR SITUATION. For example, I'm a student who is very busy, not good at cooking and espicially enjoy the romantic atmosphere of restaurants. In addition, for balance purpose,the last paragraph should be a little bit longer.Generally, you can summarise your ideas and re-emphasize you statement. So, your article is fine, but it could be more reasonable and beautiful. I think you can do it.

The structure, points, words and facility in using language are quite good in you essay. I could hardly find any errors in you essay. In general, your essay is quite good! However,for a TOEFL essay,in my opinion, it is a bit too long. Of course, if you could write essay the same as this one in actual test, you'll probably get 6.0. My suggestion is, practice writing the essay as the same length as you would write in real TOEFL test.Then you would make the best of time in your actual test and get a higher mark. Good luck!

Hi, Ish You changed your image? it's so cool.:rolleyes: I don't think you are a lady.Frankly, I like the former image more. But, don't worry about it, maybe I will like this one!:) Oh, I've got it! Writing essay can be so amazing!:D

Thank you, Ish, for proofreading my essay! Like I mentioned above, learning alone would be boring and discouraged. Writing essay is the same. However, now, it becomes an interesting journey, because, here in this forum, I can learn and gain encouragement from a lot of friends, especially you! Thanks again! I will keep on writing.

Hi, friends, could you give me some suggestions on the following essay?[clap] Thank you! :) Topic:Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of students. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Basically, there are two types of learning activities, study alone and study with a group of people. It is hard to say which activity is better than another, because each has its own advantages and disadvantages. Personally, I prefer to study with several of my classmates for the following reasons. First of all, in a study group, we can learn from each other. Study method is very important, because it determine whether we can learn effectively or not. Studying with others, we can share our experience in how to learn a specific subject efficiently. Besides, we can discuss with each other on a certain topic. From different perspectives each one presents towards a certain problem, we can learn more deeply and thoroughly. Gradually, we can develop an important skill that is viewing things more objectively, which would benefit us for the rest of our lives. . Secondly, we can encourage each other in a study group. Learning is a long and arduous journey. Sometimes, we feel boring or discouraged. In a learning group, we have a common goal that is to achieve academic success. Therefore, we would motivate each other, especially, when we lose confidence due to failure in a course or an exam. Last but not least, by study with other people, learning becomes an interesting process. In a group, by discussing a certain topic deeply, we would feel that our wisdom is enlightened. And sometimes, when we are heatedly debating about a certain issue, we would feel very excited and full of fun. Moreover, we would feel very happy when someone in the group shares the same opinion with us. Of course, study alone has its advantages, too. Such as, one can flexibly arrange his time or the environment is quieter which is more suitable for individual thinking. To sum up, I should say that learning is a kind of personal activity, and which pattern of learning activity is more suitable for us depends on our personality and experience. For me, studying with a group, we can learn from other people, we can gain encouragement from other people and we won’t feel boring in learning. That is why I prefer to study with a group of people.

To:bibicall Don't feel frustrated. The structure of your essay is fine.According to my experiece in TOEFL, the rater would probably give you 4.0 to this essay. In my opinion,what you should improve in this essay are: 1,Try to avoid repeating topic statement in your first paragraph. 2,Think of as many points as possible to support your stand. 3, Use different words to explain the same meaning. All things are difficult before they are easy!So, my suggestion is that, read more and write more.I'm sure you will get better! Ben

To:ish I was amazed to notice that I can get feedback from you so quickly! Your words are always very inspiring to me! Thank you!!! O,sorry I almost forgot to ask you, what do you mean "bingo" in "you should respond rapidly.[bingo]If you think carefully..." Ben

Hi, everyone, this essay is a little bit longer, I hope you can read through beginning to the end. And, if you have some ideas, don't hesitate to let me know![clap] Thank you! 0120 Decisions can be made quickly, or they can be made after careful thought. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The decisions that people make quickly are always wrong. Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion. We often have to make decisions upon something in life. Those things could be important matters or trivial ones. The important things can also be classified into two categories. Some allow us to spend time thinking carefully before we reach decisions and others are so urgent that we must decide without hesitation. After analyzing decision-making in different situations, I disagree with the statement that quick decisions are always wrong. To begin with, some matters are so slight that spending time in making decision is not necessary. For example, when you go to a supermarket to buy some foods, it is a waste of time if you spend a lot of time in comparing and selecting foods. In this situation, quick decision is always better. If we have to face some important things, such as choosing a school or moving to a place, usually, we should take many factors into account before come to a conclusion. In this situation, the decisions based on deliberation have more chances to be correct than those made without careful thinking. However, that does not mean quick decision is always wrong. The truth is making decision without careful consideration increases likelihood of making wrong decisions. In other words, quick decision can be right sometimes. For example, acting on instinct, you may select a school which is actually very fit to you. Therefore, the decision made quickly may be correct at times. In another situation, we must make urgent decisions and the chance of making the right decision depends on our knowledge and experience. In the security market, for instance, the price of stocks is changing rapidly. If we hesitate over making an investment, we would loose many opportunities. Let us take another example, if you face some dangerous situations when driving a car, you should respond rapidly. If you think carefully and then make a judgment, maybe an accident will happen. For this reason, in a pressing status, we need to make decision immediately, and whether the decision is right or wrong depends on our experience and skills rather than on careful thinking. From what I have discussed above, you can see that, in many situations whether a decision is right or wrong does not depend on whether we think carefully or not. On small matters, it is unworthy to spend time thinking over to come to a decision. While in urgent states, we must make quick decision using our knowledge and skills. Only when in some important situations, and we have enough time, we should consider carefully before reach a decision. Therefore, those who draw the statement that quick decisions are always incorrect are arbitrarily wrong.

If I receive some money, it would be difficult to decide how to spend it wisely. However, given a choice of buying a car or going to a vacation, I would choose the former. The reasons are as follows. First of all, owning a car brings me great convenience in life. I can go anyway I want more easily. Shopping becomes a really pleasure to me, as I no longer have to carry heavy bags staggering home. Besides, with having a car, I needn't worry about bad weather. Whether it is snowing, raining, hot or cold, all of them cannot prevent me from going out if I want. Furthermore, driving a car would save me a lot of time. In this fast-paced society, time is money. I usually spend more than two hours everyday commuting between home and the office via public transportation. But if I drive a car to work, it just takes me one hour on the road. In this way, I would have more time to spend in studying, relaxing or sleeping. On the other hand, spending a vacation has some advantages, too. I can go to a tropical island, lying on a beach under the sunshine, staying in a luxury hotel and enjoying delicious seafood. Or, I can travel abroad, experiencing different culture and meeting interesting people. Coming back from the vacation, I would feel refreshed and energetic. Comparing having a car with going a vacation, the car offers me a lot of convenience and saves me time, while the vacation gives me relaxation and enjoyment. More importantly, I would be able to enjoy the car everyday, whereas I could have the pleasure of the vacation only for several days. That is why I would choose to purchase a car rather than go to a vacation.

Nice job in TOEFL, Congrats!:tup: Wish you good luck in essay mark!

To:awing, ish, arjensteve and other friends. I have read your suggestions on my essay"dance plays an important role in a culture". Very nice, thank you!:) Here is my another attempt.Again, I welcome your comment, no matter longer or shorter.Thank you for your time! 0048 People work because they need money to live. What are some other reasons that people work? Discuss one or more of these reasons. Use specific examples and details to support your answer. There is no doubt that everyone must work in order to make a living. Therefore, earning money is an important reason for people to work. However, making money is not the only reason that people need to work. Through working, people can enrich their lives, pursuit their interests and win respect from others. First, working makes a person’s life substantial. If one comes into a fortune, which is enough to spend for the rest of his life, he still wants to work, otherwise he would feel very boring. Working is a social activity, because when people work they can communicate with others and they can keep up with the change of the society. If one does not go to work, not only his life is dull in deed, but he will be neglected by the society. Secondly, for some fortunate people, they can satisfy themselves through working. For these people, their work and pleasure are one and they can deeply be absorbed in working. Nothing can be more satisfying when they create something new, even though some of them have to live in great poverty through their entire lives. A good example is Beethoven who led an impoverished life but devoted all his life to music. Last but not least, some people can gain esteem from others through working. For example, politicians and teachers will be gratified if they win public or students respect. They could earn more money if they were in a career in the private sectors than in government or in school. I admit that money is the first consideration when many people choose a job, because it keeps us sustenance and brings us material comfort. But there are still many other reasons for people to work, such as substantiating life, exploring interest, gaining respect. In my opinion, these can be more satisfying in a job than earning money.

Wow!!! That's wonderful essay! How you could improve your writing skill in such short period of time is amazing to me!

You demonstrate some facility in writing English, but you should bear in mind the most important in TOEFL essay is what to write and then how to write. Good luck in your test!