Finally-Friday

Wow! Personally, this is a potentail 6 essay. I think it also demonstrates that big words and fancy sentences do not always add up to good, readable essays; simple vocabulary and sentences could as well earn you a high score. I TRULY enjoyed reading it, Azi. RATE: (5.5 -) 6

Despite some scattering grammatical mistakes and some slightly awkward sentences (which should not severely affect your score), this is a wonderful essay, NewWave80's. Cogent arguments, nice organization, excellent sentence variation. RATE: 5 - 5.5

chemically active: we need an adverb (chemically) to modify the adjective (active). Chemical, by the way, is an adjective.

I very much liked the reasons you brought to bear your arguments, ceste! Especially, the second one, where you discussed how face-to-face communication worked with your teacher. You seem to be aware of your own mistakes on some level--and this is great! I think if you re-read your essay once more, you'll be able to detect some more. Please pay attention to conjunctions and some grammatical points. Conjunction: "[1] Of course all communication methods are ventage for people but they have some disadvantages as well. [2] Therefore I really prefer to communicate face to face if it is possible instead of posting a letter or sanding an email." Note that the [1] and [2] cannot be connected by "therefore"--the former sentence is not the cause of the latter. Grammar: Pay attention to prepositions/conjunctions: "in order to" "because of," for instance. RATE: 3.5 (- 4)

Hi NewWave80's, if this is your first attempt to write a TWE essay, it's quite impressive! But there is some room for improvement. Some suggestions I am about to offer may help you to re-write the essay. Your essay is a bit confusing: it seems to lack a single theme. Keep the topic in mind--either "Yes, I agree that an individual should make a decision by him/herself because...(fill in the blank)..." OR "No, I don't agree that an individual should make a decision along because...(fill in the blank)..." Then, list a couple of reasons. I think at this time you should not be hesitant to be assertive: i.e., you should NOT say that although one should make a decision by oneself, some advice from their parents/relatives could be useful. (I think when a beginning writer tries to explain this in a short period of time (esp. in the case of TWE), one will easily confuse his/her reader.) Instead, you should choose EITHER an individual should make a decision by him/herself OR not. This will keep you focus... RATE: 3

Thanks, Fresheart. :)

This seems to be a potential draft; I'd encourage you to re-write it. Take your time to revise and edit. By doing so, you will learn to detect your own mistakes, ones that you knew but forgot while writing under the 30-minute time constraint. I think the fourth paragraph seems irrelevant to the topic: you put too much emphasis on the restaurants and their ambience. If I were to re-write this part, I'd discuss the variety of the foods (i.e., since most people can only cook a couple of local dishes, restaurants provide another alternative). The question: "Instead of eating at home with wasting time and money to cook,..." --I'd replace the preposition with an "and"; also, waste time on Rate: 3.5

Erin, thanks for your comment and words of encouragement. I will surely keep practicing. :)

Azi, to me, this topic is quite challenging--but you've done a good job, in my opinion. However, your essay would benefit from editing, with an emphasis on grammar and mechanics. Some topics you may want to cover: capitalization ("Also, most of them..."; "In addition, movies teach us...") and preposition ("Also, by watching movies, we will know more..."). You also need a space after a period (xxx. Xxxx) or a comma (xxx, xxx). Your response in the 3rd paragraph may need elaborating; an example will not only enable you to lengthen your essay but also make the paragraph more complete. Rate: 4

Thanks, hfk, for your response. :)

hfk, generally, your writing outshines that of most test takers, mine included. However, the essay (the supporting paragraphs, specifically) does not seem to be directed to the given topic. This sentence--"Nowadays, the human population is blooming more and more, which directly confirm that our activities make the earth better and better to live"--is a bit confusing to me, for instance. Are you suggesting that the growing number of human population makes the earth a better place? If so, how? This is my first comment here--and I hope it will be somewhat helpful, if not a total nonsense.

A nice essay which deserves a score of 5.5, Fresheart.

Thanks, Jean and shark, for your readings--I very much ppreciate them. :)

Thanks, Lukas, for your comment :)

I do appreciate every input. :tup: Timed essay (30 mins) In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details. “I would like to spend more time on studying,” most students I have known would utter. “I don’t want my children to work while studying; they could be easily distracted,” their parents would chime in. Two valid opinions. However, if students were deprived of an opportunity to put their hands on real jobs, I cannot imagine how their lives as adults would be. Responsibility should not be confined to schoolwork only; instead, it should go beyond that realm. Students who decide to work while studying will learn how to be responsible for their school—and their lives. This is a skill—to deal with several responsibilities simultaneously—we all will learn as adults. Adults are responsible for their family, their work, the bills, etc. It is innocuous to have students learn to take more than one responsibility in their early age; it is a way of preparing them to face one facet of the adult world. Students who get to work while studying know that they can always learn to apply their classroom skills to that of their real lives. A linguistics student may work as an English teacher assistant and thus learn how language develops in childhood. Further, a law student may work in a court to get a sense of how law works or how the laws they study in the books can be applied to real cases. Jobs become a platform for students to learn both practice and theory. A job, moreover, is an excellent opportunity students can learn of their genuine interest. Most students I have known admit that they are unaware of their real interest; they are in dark of their future. To be able to work in the field they think they might be interested in, then, is to have them take a road test. It is an opportunity for them to see if they really have interest in the job, so they won’t have to waste time studying what they do not like. Working while studying after all is not so bad an idea as most students and parents conceive. If students can balance their work and school, they will learn outside of their classroom. They will be ready to face reality.