A person should never make an important decision alone?

[Daniel Murcia]

HELLO EVERYBODY

I need to improve my writting skills. This is an example of an essay I just wrote, i{d be wonderfull if you give a grade and some advices to enhace my toefl score

 

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person should never make an important decision alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

 

There are some times in a person´s life time in which he/she has to make an important decision. People can choose either to make those decisions on their own or to ask for an opinion or and advise to some others. I would rather prefer to make important decisions alone.

 

There are different sorts of decisions a person is to make, for instance, the decision to marry somebody, to elect a career, to travel or to reallocate abroad, and so on. I think, those are very hard decisions to make but you can not ask other people about what to do given the fact that, at the end, the final choice will affect only your life and not the other´s.

 

To exemplify this, wouldn’t it be naïve to ask your mother whether you should marry a woman? 0nly you are able to know if you love her. Should you ask your friends what career to study? Only you can know what you really like or the activity which you would be intended to perform for the rest of your life. Let´s suppose that you are being offered a better job or position abroad far away from your parents, girlfriend, friends, dog, and so forth. In this case, every single person who is related to you has a different constituencies and interests. Given that fact, they are going to advise you in accordance to what they are interested in you to do, for example, your parents and your girlfriend may not like the idea of you to reallocate overseas because they would miss you so much. So, their advise could be: “do not go you don´t have anything to do there”. What you should do is to ask yourself about what you really want lo do with your life and put everything in a balance.

 

In sum, I consider that the most important decisions in life must be taken by the person involved only. The only thing that people have to keep in mind is that they must know themselves very well for not to make a bad decision based on other´s thoughts and interest.

[awhig]

HELLO EVERYBODY

I need to improve my writting skills. This is an example of an essay I just wrote, i{d be wonderfull if you give a grade and some advices to enhace my toefl score

 

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person should never make an important decision alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

 

There are some times in a person´s life time in which he/she has to make an important decision. People can choose either to make those decisions on their own or to ask for an opinion or and advise to some others. I would rather prefer to make important decisions alone.

 

There are different sorts of decisions a person is to make, for instance, the decision to marry somebody, to elect a career, to travel or to reallocate abroad, and so on. I think, those are very hard decisions to make but you can not ask other people about what to do given the fact that, at the end, the final choice will affect only your life and not the other´s.

 

To exemplify this, wouldn’t it be naïve to ask your mother whether you should marry a woman? 0nly you are able to know if you love her. Should you ask your friends what career to study? Only you can know what you really like or the activity which you would be intended to perform for the rest of your life. Let´s suppose that you are being offered a better job or position abroad far away from your parents, girlfriend, friends, dog, and so forth. In this case, every single person who is related to you has a different constituencies and interests. Given that fact, they are going to advise you in accordance to what they are interested in you to do, for example, your parents and your girlfriend may not like the idea of you to reallocate overseas because they would miss you so much. So, their advise could be: “do not go you don´t have anything to do there”. What you should do is to ask yourself about what you really want lo do with your life and put everything in a balance.

 

In sum, I consider that the most important decisions in life must be taken by the person involved only. The only thing that people have to keep in mind is that they must know themselves very well for not to make a bad decision based on other´s thoughts and interest.

Score : 5.0

Comments:

1. Lot of examples -- good thing.

2. I was actually looking for main points.i.e Advantages of making a decision alone.The examples and questions posed by you could go along.

3. Language is fine.

4. Actually, if you do not highlight main points,then it may look to a rater that examples are repeated and hence may look bore.Otherwise your examples and explainations above are perfect.

 

 

Why decision alone: (My view)

1. Self reliance feeling. : gives confidence.

2. One knows one's situations best. : Like rivalry.

3. Secrecy and personal issues :- marriage etc.

4.

[englishmaster]

I need to improve my writting (writing) skills. This is an example of an essay I just wrote, I'd be happy if you give a grade and some advice to enhance my toefl score

 

 

 

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person should never make an important decision alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

 

 

 

There are some times in a person´s life time (omit time; repetitious) in which (replace with "when") he/she has to make an important decision. People can choose either to make those decisions on their own or to ask for an opinion or and advise to some others (replace with: "for the opinion or advice of others). I would rather (omit "rather" it means the same as "prefer") prefer to make important decisions alone.

 

There are different sorts of decisions a person is to ( replace with "may have to") make. (new sentence) For instance, the decision to marry somebody, to elect (replace with "choose" or "select") a career, to travel or to reallocate (relocate) abroad, and so on. I think, those are very hard decisions to make but you can not ask other people about what to do given the fact that, at the end, the final choice will affect only your life and not the other´s.

 

 

 

Your basic English is good, but could be improved as shown above.

 

Maybe I can help.

[Daniel Murcia]

Thank You Very Much For Your Coments

[vertical_horizon]

Hi Daniel Murcia :),

 

Your essay has a very clear stand point of view and very on-topic, which I like. The structure is a little bit strange and unbalanced to me, but it's just my opinion. The essay also contains quite a few abbreviation and grammar mistakes, which should be easily recognized through Words.

 

Overall I like your essay. 4.5-/6.0.

 

All the best to your test :grad:,

 

Phuong

 

 

HELLO EVERYBODY

I need to improve my writting skills. This is an example of an essay I just wrote, i{d be wonderfull if you give a grade and some advices to enhace my toefl score

 

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person should never make an important decision alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

 

There are some times in a person´s life time in which he/she has to make an important decision. People can choose either to make those decisions on their own or to ask for an opinion or and advise to some others. I would rather prefer to make important decisions alone.

 

There are different sorts of decisions a person is to make, for instance, the decision to marry somebody, to elect a career, to travel or to reallocate abroad, and so on. I think, those are very hard decisions to make but you can not ask other people about what to do given the fact that, at the end, the final choice will affect only your life and not the other´s.

 

To exemplify this, wouldn’t it be naïve to ask your mother whether you should marry a woman? 0nly you are able to know if you love her. Should you ask your friends what career to study? Only you can know what you really like or the activity which you would be intended to perform for the rest of your life. Let´s suppose that you are being offered a better job or position abroad far away from your parents, girlfriend, friends, dog, and so forth. In this case, every single person who is related to you has a different constituencies and interests. Given that fact, they are going to advise you in accordance to what they are interested in you to do, for example, your parents and your girlfriend may not like the idea of you to reallocate overseas because they would miss you so much. So, their advise could be: “do not go you don´t have anything to do there”. What you should do is to ask yourself about what you really want lo do with your life and put everything in a balance.

 

In sum, I consider that the most important decisions in life must be taken by the person involved only. The only thing that people have to keep in mind is that they must know themselves very well for not to make a bad decision based on other´s thoughts and interest.