joy_mookerji

Great feedback....... You are right switching P2 and P3 makes more sense. Regards Joy

Right ho,the implications are abstract in my extract. Regards Joy

Hi kiwiz, Your essay is excellent. However I disagree one of your points: "By electing for Obama as President, the American people have demonstrated that taking risks and keeping an open mind are actually more important than the so called reassuring certainty that a McCain legislation might provide." People were more driven by the failure of the previous government which to my judgment was determinant of the outcome of the 44th Presidential Election.On the contradictory note of your argument,I will add McCain gave emphasis on being a maverick, and rather than the traditional republican approach asserted on his bipartisan methodology. :) That is my outlook. Thanks and Regards Joy

Hi Jtrader, I appreciate your courage.Age does not matter if you have the zeal to succeed and you should not be diffident about pursuing a PHD if you feel it's the right thing to do for you. Me,I am planning to pursue my Masters in Information Systems from University Of Maryland summer 2009 at the age of 34. I have the advantage of being a US resident and have 11 yrs of experience in Information Systems, so I got a GRE waiver from the University.I could have let go this opportunity since I have a Bachelors degree from the best Indian University (IIT,Indian Institute Of Technology) the MIT equivalent. However I still decided to pursue my Masters driven solely by my prudence and urge for higher education. I totally understand the hardship and dedication one has to have to pursue a higher education at a mid career level,and encourage you my friend to continue to be steadfast towards your goal. Thanks and Regards Joy

FYI - "crave (great desire for)" is a nice word which has similar implication. Regards Joy

Great essay,liked it very much. Your articulation is nice. One thing I noticed: "Given the aforementioned reasons, it is clear that the continuously desire of executives to maximize profits" - This should be "it is clear that the continuous desire". I am 100% sure its a typo , just wanted to make your aware of it :) Have a nice day my friend...... Joy

Success, whether academic or professional, involves an ability to survive in a new environment and, eventually, to change it. The author of this line has reiterated one of the great quote by Bernard Shaw – “The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.” I strongly agree with the author’s practical view of success. In a pithy sentence he had articulated the most important fact about success. This world is not a place for diffident people lacking in self confidence, it’s the place that Darwin implied through his theory of “Survival Of The Fittest”, the cruel civilized jungle. Thus it is imperative that we cannot be complacent and meander without having definitive targets to achieve. There will be impediments in our life, however we have to be undaunted by any trepidation. New environment, whether it is in academic or professional won’t be laid by flowers. There will be people to be dealt with, who will be strong opponents or even obstacles and make life miserable for any person, how much educated or pugnacious he/she may be. However the sweet price of success doesn’t come without a price to pay. In order to be successful we have to constantly win over the whim and even nefarious ploy of co-workers, subordinates and superiors. The first challenge in a new environment is to understand the mechanics of it, i.e. how it operates, who are the primary leaders and who are the followers, to be precise the challenge is to understand the stake holders. This being done is the next big leap, to mould the stake holders. This may not be done easily or without some negative consequences. This process involves understanding human psychology and the more apt we are to understand our fellow human being, the easy will be our effort to mould them according to our benefit. However there will be some individual who will be mulish and contumacious and these individuals are our toughest challenges. Their ideology will be incongruent to our own and to wean them from their ideology will be the greatest challenge in our carrier. However in these cases most pragmatic and candid approach will be to come to a settlement in between so that it will be a win-win for all parties. Thus the adroit person will always be successful to shape his environment to his advantage and be the beneficiary. Instead of harrowing over tough circumstances one should be bold and intrepid to shape the circumstances like a conjurer and if he is successful in his venture his life will reach the pinnacle of success. We should never brood on our failures and instead of self-reproach we should jump start our effort with a new vigor to mould and shape the world as we like it to be.

Thanks for your diligent feedback friend. You are right,words used in the wrong context surely have a negative impact. However as you said,I was not showing off my vocabulary or being ostentatious in the forum. I was trying to put my thoughts into words and get some feedback from other people and at the same time I was trying to help others preparing for the test. I have a strong affinity for words and its not a recent endeavor of mine to enrich my vocabulary;I have been meticulously doing it for a long time. I apologize to you and all the forum members if I have put up a wrong message while expressing my thoughts. However I appreciate your comments and look forward for your unbiased criticism about my essays. Thanks and Regards Joy

"It is dangerous to trust only intelligence." This is a very realistic and pragmatic view which has been debated for decades. I am fully in accord with this statement. This statement was articulated with a different connotation by Thomas Edison: “Genius is 90% perspiration and 10% inspiration”. To reiterate on this lets take the example of Wall Street. The whole situation of this dismal economy was triggered by the fall of financial sector because of the idiosyncrasy of a very elite and esoteric group of financial pundits. A gamble was played based on intuition without having a futuristic outlook causing the tanking of the economy. To add fuel to the fire, risks were undertaken in the housing sector and resulted in the plummet of the entire economy. Thus actions devoid of due diligence started the sufferings and even indigence of hundreds and thousands of people. Then to supplement the conflagration started by the financial and the housing market appeared the auto industry with its own oversight of market trend and its own set of very intelligent people with their own fetishes. Soon health care got affected and the whole economy went into a vicious circle of deterioration and degradation, very difficult to be extricated from this turmoil. Thus to assert my opinion I would like to comprehend that only intelligence without any pragmatism is a sure sign of failure. If we depend only on our intelligence and don’t go the extra mile to assess the integrity of our intelligence with practical data we are bound to fail. If we are not diligent on our decision and don’t consolidate it with rationalism it is imperative we will fail. The implications of the failure maybe short term or long term depending on the impact caused by the failure. Only intelligence cannot be a determinant factor of a successful person. True application of intelligence lies in the fact, that it is applied with the situation in mind and enough research and effort has been put before any decision which involves the application of intelligence is taken. Subservience to intelligence only, falling slavishly to its ploy is not a true indication of superior quality, but it signifies temerity and finally hints towards imbecility.

Dude (I apologize if you are not) you have done great job :) Very nice essay with correct syntax and grammar garnished with the proper usage of words. Awesome , you should fly in your AWA. Best of luck...... Joy

I have accumulated my vocabulary and garnished it by listening to NPR (national public radio-USA) ,it's a very good place to listen to the articulation of writers,journalists and radio hosts and it also provides you with zillions of information about whats going on in the world.If you are in USA it's easy,just tune in your radio and you are all set.I hear the radio mostly during driving to work or while running my errands. If you are not in USA this is the link of their web-site. WNYC - New York Public Radio. Not only you will enhance your vocabulary but also you will get the idea of their usage in the correct context. By the way "disconcerting" is a very nice word to describe some ones mental condition of emotional disturbance and not the mot juste (verbiage) your are implying.I am not patronizing you;I am just trying to point you to the correct direction.Instead you can use instead "some what difficult to conceive or envisage or imagine". Thanks and Regards Joy

Your articulation is excellent and you gave very good examples to justify your opinion. However I feel the word "predisposition" is little misnomer in the context in which it is used. Instead disposition will be more befitting. Thanks and Regards Joy

"It is always an individual who is the impetus for innovation; the details may be worked out by a team, but true innovation results from the enterprise and unique perception of an individual." According to the foregoing sentence the author has emphasized that individual aptitude and excellence is the primary impetus of innovation. I am not entirely in consensus with this argument. It is a strong argument; however I don’t consider it unblemished. I comply with the fact that individual contribution and aptitude is very important but alone an individual cannot be successful without the help of the entire team who believe in the capability, dexterity and vision of the individual. There are a myriad of evidence which are pertinent to this reality. Google started as a small company by two graduates however it became an enterprise because of the contributions of group of people who shared the same vision as the founders. Same story is applicable for Microsoft, GE, IBM, APPLE and other enterprises which started as a small vision and gradually evolved as a pioneer in their respective field. This was possible because of the people who were pragmatic enough to nurture and grow the vision of their founders. This is true in all aspects of the society. The idea of “Micro Banking” was conceptualized by a single person but it became immensely popular because of the people who had faith in the idea and materialized the same. The idea along with its implementation was considered a noble venture and hence it won global recognition and even the “Nobel Prize”. Thus an individual, how much gifted he may be is prone to failure if his idea is not considered poignant by the people. The mechanics as a whole is very important for the metamorphosis of a theory to practical usability and without the support of the environment that is the followers to be precise theories remain as theories and they never see the dawn of the day. An individual can bloviate and contemplate with his genius mind for decades, but how fruitful or beneficial is a theory without its practical implementation. It remains as a brain child and gradually desiccates to oblivion. Thus to summarize my argument I would emphasize upon the fact, it important for a brilliant individual to come up with revolutionizing and mind boggling idea but it should be supplemented with the trust and belief of the people who are the eminent factor for making the idea a reality.

I would recommend "Wren and Martin".Its a good place to go over the basics.GRE demands correct English with proper punctuation and spelling.You don't have to ornate your essays with flamboyance,however correct articulation will keep you among the top scores in the writing section. Joy

Not at all. You have been diligently providing me with your feedback. I really appreciate your tenacity of reading through my essays and accept your feedback in good spirit. Joy

Wow, Thanks for the feedback. "The same applies to poetry and plays and epics and novels." This line particularly I got carried over and tried to be a little poetic and sounded like an eccentric rather than a purist :) You are right I flunked in grammar in some of the sentences. I better be more careful. Mona Lisa example,I am in compliance with your viewpoint,it was a little inane.;) Joy

Hi, Thanks for the comment. I am perfectly aware of this 2 words "eminent (the most important ) problem" is often used by journalist and speakers in NPR(The National Public Radio-US) while addressing to issues related to global economy and recession. Imminent as we know is "close in time " so you are right the usage is not impeccable in the current context. I would rephrase this "Thus to conclude it is imminent that no laws" "Thus it can be concluded that no laws....." Thanks and Regards Joy

Hi, Your argument is cogent with lots of example. However you should pay special attention to grammar and sentence construction. Some of your sentences do have grammatical errors due to lack of prepositions. If you can rectify those you should be good to go. Additionally try to divide your sentences into paragraphs. This will put strong emphasis on your argument. Overall you have very good analytical skills and your argument reflects your analytical acumen. You already have this "ace up your sleeve" , if you improve on your articulation you should be "leaps and bounds" of the competition. I hope my piece of advice is beneficial for you. Thanks and Regards Joy

Thanks, Really appreciate the comprehensive feedback. I will certainly take a look on the other arguments posted in the forum to be in congruence with GRE requirements.Don't want to be a maverick in this case :) I would also appreciate if you can provide some feedback on my essays as well. They are kind of seating lonely out there with 0 comments. Happy Holidays Joy

"Many problems of modern society cannot be solved by laws and the legal system because moral behavior cannot be legislated." This is a perfect exposition of an eminent problem in our society which can be perceived in our everyday life. I am totally in accord with this thought. Human being by nature is competitive, regional and self centered. We have laws that are imposed upon, preventing us from committing perjury; however no laws abide us to be morally obligatory to the human society. We try to comply with the laws driven by our selfish desire of not getting indicted and hence loosing the material wealth that we so dearly want to possess. It’s not our conscience that keeps us from committing a felony it’s the repercussions that we worry about. If there is a slight slack or loophole in the law we are eager to take advantage for our selfish motives. We sometimes condescend on people who commit crimes out of desperation when they don’t have food or money to support themselves and their kin. However as hypocrites we try to cheat on our tax money in the first opportunity. We engage ourselves in infidelity at the slightest sign of pulchritude. We try to get favors from our supervisors at work place by plain and disgracing sycophancy instead of our aptness or capabilities. Even when we fail to get rewards in return for our legitimate services ,in other words when the returns are not commensurate with the effort, we get frustrated and never miss a chance to show our petulance. These traits are human and there is no law that can be sanctimonious for us; the reason being we are never satisfied. Philanthropy and self-abnegation or self-renunciation is not what we are taught, it’s meant for the saints to practice these so called pieties. Thus to conclude it is imminent that no laws in this universe can change our view and avow for the sanity and sanctity of human mind. It is self realization and humanity that is present in each one of us that can somewhat predict our actions. It’s our pugnacious nature that defines each individual as separate entity and it’s ultimately left to the individual to conduct themselves in this society. Laws and legislature are plain and simple assertions which try to prevent anarchy and havoc in our society, above that there purpose is limited in controlling the sense and sensitivity of the human race.

"The function of science is to reassure; the purpose of art is to upset. Therein lays the value of each." It is asserted in the opinion of the author, that science reassures us while the purpose of arts is to upset our thoughts. Thus although in opposite conjunction, lies the value of the two fields of study. I don’t support this exposition and cannot align with the underline meaning of the sentence. It is true that science provides the logical conclusion of the various tangible as well as intangible phenomenons that are constantly occurring around us. It is true that science opens our eyes to interpret everything around us with a logical reasoning and it frees us from our obtuse and somewhat provincial ideologies and superstition. It’s because of science that advance in technology is culminated and we can envision the modern age with the eye of a practical, sensible person instead of an insular individual concealed in a hermetic world of ignorance and abnegation. However it is also true that being only practical doesn’t make us complete, it only make us dull and insipid. It is arts with its resplendent presentation that make our life variegated. Art in its variety and amplitude makes us consummate as human being. Had not there been Mona-Lisa we couldn’t have appreciated the beauty of women. Without Da Vinci or Michelangelo we would be looking at the world in black and white and our sensory organs would be stalled and not venture into the magnificent world of imagination. The same applies to poetry and plays and epics and novels. These helps us understand the relationship between man and the world through the eyes of the master craftsmen who gives us sometimes illusive, sometimes ephemeral, sometimes practical and sometimes hedonistic glimpse of our society and the creatures that make up the society. It teaches us to believe in ourselves and also points to the harsh anathema of being a human being. Thus to conclude my opinion I would like to assert and affirm that art is also an integral part of our life, like science and it plays a pivotal role in shaping our society. It is sometimes practical, often utopian but it still gives us an introspective and its impregnable and immaculate effect on human society cannot be debased or denigrated.

"Unlike great thinkers and great artists, the most effective political leaders must often yield to public opinion and abandon principle for the sake of compromise." This statement highlights a critical point articulating the effectiveness of a political leader. It states political leaders should be pragmatic rather than pedantic or sanctimonious. They should abide by the general pulse of the people and let go principles and embrace opinion and traverse the path of democracy. In doing so it is quite possible for them to discard the morality and theories that were laid by his great predecessors. I am not positively inclined towards this ideology and my stake is on this is somewhat divided. I strongly agree that in some instances you cannot follow your ideology to the very alphabet; however it is the characteristic of great leaders to mould the mind of the people so that they follow the trend set by the leaders. With the ravages of time old principles get tarnished and it is necessary to give a proactive and practical coating on these principles. There are some ideas which are downright hypocrisy and the leaders must possess the acumen to understand the impact of these and act accordingly to avoid repetition of these mistakes. George Bernard Shaw once sarcastically said “Patriotism is a pernicious psychopathic form of idiocy”. He wanted to criticize sequacious followers of political leaders who indulge themselves in slavish impersonation. However the point, where I am discordant to this opinion is, on the extent of compromise required to lead the public. Does that imply political leaders should give up their ethics to its entirety in order to comply with the people? If that is the implication I strongly oppose it. Molding principles to meet the requirement of current economic and political situation is a pragmatic and proactive approach; giving up morality and ethics to meet them is a clear sign of imprudence and ineptness. When a critical political power is handed to an incumbent any false move or judgment will wreak havoc and the impact can cause both tangible and intangible repercussions. So it is a sign of imminent danger if political leaders are unscrupulous in executing the power entrusted upon them by voters and common people. I would like to conclude my opinion highlighting the fact that political leader differs from musician or artists in the fact that they have more responsibility to the society. They should refrain themselves from bigotry and be amicable and compliant towards the society that have chosen them to lead. They have to enact in a collateral and cognitive manner where as the artists and thinkers have the advantage to be more independent .Thus the political leaders have more responsibility towards the society they represent and have to be very ingenuous and prudent in their conduct. With great power comes great responsibility and it is this characteristics of leaders that sets them apart from the common man and make the nations great that is represented by these political savants. Thus to quote from Bernard Shaw again- “The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them”.

Hi Rmoon, Your argument is full of examples and I see very strong logical structure in its presentation.However you should be careful with your spelling. Additionally I would suggest to refrain yourself from using standard templates like "The argument is fyll of breaches and loopholes since it ispresents scrappy substantiation. Neither the sequitur constraining noer the premises incontrovertible". I have seen this template before and I am confident that many others will follow suite your example.There are 2 spelling mistakes in this short sentence itself.I would emphasize giving more attention on spelling,and clear and concise sentence construction instead of strong vocabulary that will make your reader "flabbergasted" :). Overall you have a good logical acumen and would suggest to leverage this quality by overcoming the weaknesses. Thanks and Regards Joy

"Laws should not be rigid or fixed. Instead, they should be flexible enough to take account of various circumstances, times, and places." The author of this opinion is implying that the indictment on any individual for their unlawful act should be calibrated against the situation on which the act was committed and should vary from incident to incident. I am strongly discordant with this opinion. Crime cannot be measured taking into account circumstances. It is a known fact that we have separate laws pertaining to every kind of incident which is considered felony or unlawful act. The authority is responsible to investigate the crime and submit their result to the court and the case proceeds based on the investigation. There is panel of jury formed out of the citizens who may have no legal portfolio attached to them, in a word, common citizens who are selected on a random basis to evaluate a crime and give their predictions on a defendant. Thus indirectly or involuntarily we introduce flexibility in the outcome of a criminal charge. When evidences are submitted to the court the judge as well as the juries scrutinizes the case and dialogues with the defendant and the public prosecutor brings out the motive behind the crime. The juries unbiased then declare the defendant as guilty or not guilty purely considering the evidence and the circumstances under which the crime was committed. So in a way we are flexible or lenient in our law enforcement .Thus to make the law itself flexible is unnecessary , instead the uniformity of law should be maintained while the repercussions of breaking it is fine-tuned based on the circumstances. However it is to be bored in mind that the investigation should be carried with due-diligence and there shouldn’t be any gap or loophole in the findings. If a comprehensive and coherent investigation, supplemented with lawful truth from witnesses can be formed, no crime will escape the firm grasp of law and the deceit of the legal system is impossible. In spite of all this judgment, the law is not beyond fallacy and time and again we have seen it to bend unlawfully and unscrupulously, due to the lack of evidence or misjudgment .Thus to conclude I would like to point it out that every legal system has its limitations and miscreants have considerable propensity to break through its legal. Thus execution rather than formulation is important in any legal proceeding.

Thanks FAFA, I really appreciate the feedback. Your are right I should be a little subservient to the GRE board :) Additionally the feedback about being less neutral and more in the active voice is impeccable. Regards Joy