ditoman

40. "The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Excello Food Markets. - "In 90 towns where Excello has food markets, natural-food stores specializing in organic food products - products containing no chemical preservatives and made with foods grown without pesticides have opened nearby as competitors. Surveys of our own customers reveal a growing concern about foods grown using pesticides or preserved with chemicals. Recently our market in Sun City participated in a local food tasting fair, and 75 percent of the fair goers who visited the Excello booth requested free samples of organic fruit. Such evidence indicates that to increase our profits, we should begin to stock a full line of organic food products in all our markets." The author concludes that Excello Food Markets should start stocking a full line of organic food products in all markets to increase profits. To uphold the conclusion, the author points out a survey that their own customers concern increasingly about foods using pesticides or preserved with chemicals. The author also cites that 75 percent of the fair goers who visited the Excello booth demanded free samples of oraganic fruit in food tasting fair in Sun City. However, this conclusion relies on several dubious assumptions. First, the author assumes that the survey that reveals a growing concern about foods is reliable. However, the author shows no clear evidence to support the assumption. It is entirely possible that the subjects of survey are chosen in a specific area. Or it is also possible that a person fill in the survey forms. In either case, the conclusion that they should begin to stock a full line of organic food products based on this assumption is unreliable to me. Second, the author relies on the poor assumption that the Sun City food tasting fair represents the overall cities. Even if the Sun City represents national cities, there is no clear evidence that the populations of Sun City represent all of the people in the country. It is entirely possible that the investigation is only applied to the participants of food tasting fair. If so, the assumption is unpersuasive to me. Third, the author unfairly assumes that only if they begin to stock a full line of organic food products in all their markets, their profits are increased. It is entirely possible that the decoration in their markets can be another factor of detracting customers. Without considering other factors affecting on customers the conclusion lends little credibility to me. Finally, it is unfair to assume that the requestors all purchase oraganic foods by Excello. It is entirely possible that all requestors can purchase really their competitors' oraganic food. Without clear evidences showing that all requestors purchase Excello oraganic foods, the author cann't convince me that the conclusion is reliable. In conclusion, the conclusion that to increase Excello profits, Excello should begin to stock a full line of oraganic food products in all Excello markets currently unacceptable to as it stands. To better support the conclusion, the author should present the evidence showing the reliability of the survey, the representativeness of the participants of Sun City food tasting fair. To better assess the conclusion, I must be informed about the influence of other factors on profits and the correlation between requestors and real purchasers.

186 "It is a grave mistake to theorize before one has data" Is it a grave mistake to theorize without data, as the speaker contends? With regard to this issue requiring consideration, I partly agree. However, I have the questions about how it can be possible to theorize without data and if possible, how many data should be collected. More than anything else, I admit that there is a induction method of finding a knowledge through data. A closer look back at scientific history reveals that the induction as finding knowledge works well. "The discovery of spherical Earth" is gained by continuous observation and "the theory of relativity" is discovered through continuous efforts. In this respect, it is clear that the knowledge discoveries through data and observations are possible. However, the induction has a danger of interpreting the data according to observer's desires and theories. When theory is made and evidence against the theory come up, the observer has a strong temptation to distort the evidence and interpret for already existing theory. For example, the notion of a spherical Earth was so unsettling to people that they interpreted the arc-shaped horizon as evidence of a convex Earth before Newtonian physics. In this manner, the observer seems to distort the evidence against his or her own theory by ego or desire. In addition, how many data should be collected for theorizing? If the amounts of data is too small, the theory may have error, otherwise, the theorist should continue observation forever. For instance, governments tend to respond to urgent social problems by establishing agencies to collect data and think-tanks to theorize about causes and solutions. These agencies and think-tanks serves no purpose unless they admit that they will never have all the data and that no theory is foolproof, and unless timely action is taken based on the best theory currently available. In conclusion, I think that the author begs the question by ignoring the impossibility of theorizing without data. Even if possible, two problems about how many data should be collected and how observer can avoid obessing his ego and desire are still remained. To these extreme subjective problems, I have opinion that it totally depends on the observer's quality.

194. A recent study suggests that people who are left-handed are more likely to succeed in business than are right-handed people. Researchers studied photographs of 1,000 prominent business executives and found that 21 percent of these executives wrote with their left hand. So the percentage of prominent business executives who are left-handed (21 percent) is almost twice the percentage of people in the general population who are left-handed (11 percent). Thus, people who are left-handed would be well advised to pursue a career in business, whereas people who are right-handed would be well advised to imitate the business practices exhibited by left-handers. The author concludes that left-handed people had better find a job in business and right-handed people had better imitate the business practices of left-handed people becuse left-handed people have more likelihood to succeed in business. To support the conclusion, the author points out a photographs in a recent study showing that 21 percent of 1,000 prominent business executives are writing with their left hand. The author also cites that only 11 percent of general population are left-handed. However, the author relies on several dubious assumptions. First, the author assumes that 1,000 prominent business executives represent the successful people in business. However, there are no clear evidence to support the assumption. It is entirely possible that 1,000 executives are chosen in the specific company. Or it is also possible that the executives are chosen in the specific area. In either case, the assumption that 1,000 executives represent the successful people in business is unreliable to me. Second, the author relies on the poor assumes that 1,000 prominent business executives keep their success. Even if they are currently successful in business, there is no evidence that their success is continuous. In other words, their success can be ephemeral. If so, the conclusion that left-handed people are more likely to succeed is unpersuasive to me. Third, the author doesn't consider other causes of writing with left hand. Perhaps their right hand is hurted. It is entirely possible that their right hand is exhausted by long writing. Without considering other factors that lead them to write with left hand, the conclusion lends little credibility to me. Finally, it is unfair to assume that the survey showing that 11 percent of general population are left-handed is reliable. It is entirely possible that the subjects of survey are chosen in a specific area. Without considering the reliability of survey, the author cann't convince me that the conclusion is convincing. In conclusion, the conclusion that the left-handed people are more likely to succeed in business than are right-handed people is currently unacceptable to me as it stands. To better uphold the conclusion, the author should present the evidences showing the reliabilities of the representatives of 1,000 prominent business executives and the survey, and continuity. To better assess the conclusion, I must be informed about other causes of writing with left hand.

203. "The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes or its heroines." Do the characters of heroes and heroines in a society reflect the character of their society? With regard to this issue, I tend to disagree in that their tendency to reflect a society is not the criterion determining its heroes or heroines. They rather seem to be chosen by their idiosyncracy and society's preferrence. First, they are not chosen by their tendency to mirror a society. If this is the case, it is natural that the characters of its heroes or heroines should be similar each other because they all belong to a society. However, heroes or heroines in my society never display similar character. On the contrary, they seem to show extreme character. A commedian tend to be shy but he overcomes his nature. Another commedian is originally extrovert. In this light, all heroes and heroines are not chosen because they reflect a society. Second, they seem to be chosen by the preferrence of their society. In life's journey, everyone will have something that they really want but cann't. However, he or she keeps it somewhere in mind. If someone can do vicariously it, he or she may be excited and tends to make the vicarious his hero. For example, there are such people as Lance Armstrong, Mohammed Ali, Mark McGuire, and Magic Johnson. Also, they are sports heroes, but what make us really remember them is their transdental efforts or benevolences. Lance sArmstrong, the Tour de France Cycling champion of America, is well remembered as the person who overcomes life-threatening illess, Mohammed Ali by racial inequality, Mark McGuire by helps disadvantaged children, and Magic Johnson by AIDS research and awareness. In this manner, many heroes or heroines are really remembered by their behaviors that we want to but cann't. However, some types of heroes and heroines tend to be chosen due to their mirror. The most representative examples are political and social heroes. India's Mahatma Gandhi, America's Martin Luther King, South Africa's Nelson Mandela, and Poland's Lech Lawesa come immediately to mind. They all are chosen by their collective behaviors rather than their idiosyncracy. In this respect, political and social heroes seem to be selected by their collective character rather than society's preferrence. In conclusion, I generally disagree the assertion that the best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the characters of heroes or heroines who members select. In my opinion, although some political and social heroes are selected by their collective behaviors, the assertion ignores the fact that heroes and heroines are chosen by their idiosyncracy and society's preferrence rather than mirror.

113. "It is primarily through our identification with social groups that we define ourselves." Is what defines ourselves an identification with social groups? With regard to this issue requiring a lot of thoughts, I would like to say "No". Because everyone himself or herself has the meaning of life and "definition" generally says not which groups he or she involves in but what the nature of it is. First, everyone is the valuable existence regardless of his belongings. The assertion that human is defined through identification with social groups has the danger that those who belong to no groups can be valueless. If so, mavericks do not have any meaning of life? There are such great mavericks as Einstein, Newton, Edison. Without such mavericks, are the theory of relativity, gravity, and bulb discovered? In this respect, I think that all people have their own values regardless of which groups he or she belongs to. Second, "definition" never means generally to which groups he or she belongs. In my opinion, "definition" generally means that "an explanation of the meaning of a word". If so, is a person explained through identification with social groups? I don't think so. When one explains the others, we generally mention his characteristics, behaviors, sex, and interests, rarely which groups he or she belongs to. In this manner, what defines a person is not which groups he or she belongs to but what his or her characteristics, behaviors, sex, and interests are. Third, the thought that a social group to which he or she belongs is the primary method of defining ourselves always has the danger of limiting extremely him or her. It can be just one of the criteria but cannot be only criteria. If this is the case, all cristians should be benevolent. All prosoners should be nefarious. However, they is not real. A few of cristians, despite its rarity, perpetrate sometimes. A few of prisoners contribute to a philanthropic institution. In this manner, although one involves in the specific group, the nature of group doesn't reveal all things about participants. In conclusion, I disagree that what defines primarily ourselves is the identification with social groups in that everyone has its meaning regardless of which groups he or she belongs to, the general meaning of "define" is not "identify", and it has strong danger of restricting him or her. I know well the fact that humans are nothing if not social animals and have the instinct of participating social groups, but they are never all of the criteria of defining a person.

144. "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value." (*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.) Does the artist rather than the critic give society lasting value? With regard to this issue requiring many consideration, I agree that the works of artists are permanent but the criticisms of critics are ephemeral. However, I strongly disagree that the roles of critics are valueless. On the one hand, it is clear that the art works are continuous as long as no catastrophe. Sometimes, the works of famous artists destroyed or disappeared by fire, rainfall, earthquake, natural disappearance and war. However, without such havocs, the works are immortal. On the contrary, the criticisms by critics slip in the people's mind as time goes by and the value system changes. A look back at history reveals this well. Voltare rejects Shakespeare as barbaric. The esteemed critics dismiss Beethoven's music. However, none criticizes Shakespeare's and Beethoven's works now. In this manner, criticisms are frequently changed but the works themselves are not changed. On the other hand, the criticisms themselves have their own values. Many people evaluate the value of works regardless of its correctness of evaluation. Admittedly, the evaluations are frequently changed. However, it is true that people need the criteria of works and critics can provide these criteria. Without such criteria, many people cann't determine the values of works and have no choice but to select by themselves. In this respect, the critics themselves have their own value and meanings. In addition, the critics can provide knowledge that is required to understand the works. Some people can say that teachers, docents, and professors can do it much better. However, in my opinion, teachers' knowledge about the specific artist seems to be limited while critics can have detail knowledge about him or her. In other words, in the depth of knowledge aspect, teachers cann't be compared with critics who have studied about the specific work. In conclusion, although I admit that the works of artists last much longer than the criticisms of critics, I don't ignore the role of critics. The critics have evidently their own roles, their criticisms are also important in the aspects of the criteria of determination and knowledge. In my opinion, as long as such roles last, their criticisms are as valuable as the works of artists.

I don't know how to delete this. Please, delete this thread...TT

Oops... I post mistakenly 2 times the same topic. Please delete this writings. I don't know how to delete this.

240. The following appeared in a memo written by a dean at Buckingham College. "To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a new dormitory. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, should double over the next fifty years, thus making existing dormitories inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has increased in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, an attractive new dormitory would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham." The author asserts that Buckingham College should construct a dormitory to attract prospective students to enroll at Buckingham. To support the assertion, the author points out on the ground of current trends that Buckingham's enrollment is growing, and will double over the next fifty years. The author also cites that the average rent for an apartment in town has increased in recent years. However, this assertion relies on several dubious assumptions. First, the author assumes that current trends are correct. However, the author shows no clear evidence to support the assumption. It is entirely possible that the subjects of trends are freshmen. Or it is also possible that a few of students are chosen. In either cases, the assumption that the survey of current trends is credible is unreliable to me. Second, the author relies on the poor assumption that current trends continue. Even if the trends are continuous phenomenon on the past years, there is no evidence that the trends will continue. Moreover, It is entirely possible that current trends are aberrant. If so, the assertion that Buckingham College should build a new dormitory is unpersuasive to me. Third, the author unfairly assumes that the increasing average rent for an apartment in their town causes students to find it difficult to afford off-campus housing. Perhaps the average rent for an apartment is growing higher, it is entirely possible that a studio becomes cheaper. Without considering this possibility, the assumption lends little credibility to me. Finally, it is unfair to assume that the only attractive new dormitory makes prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham. It is entirely possible that students consider first the level of faculties. Without considerations of other factors, the author cann't convince me that the assertion is convincing. In conclusion, the assertion that Buckingham College should build a new dormitory to attract prospective students is currently unacceptable to me as it stands. To better uphold, the author should present the evidence showing the reliability of growing enrollment trends, the continuity of trends, other factors influencing on finding off-campus housing, and students' enrollments.

240. The following appeared in a memo written by a dean at Buckingham College. "To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a new dormitory. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, should double over the next fifty years, thus making existing dormitories inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has increased in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, an attractive new dormitory would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham." The author asserts that Buckingham College should construct a dormitory to attract prospective students to enroll at Buckingham. To support the assertion, the author points out on the ground of current trends that Buckingham's enrollment is growing, and will double over the next fifty years. The author also cites that the average rent for an apartment in town has increased in recent years. However, this assertion relies on several dubious assumptions. First, the author assumes that current trends are correct. However, the author shows no clear evidence to support the assumption. It is entirely possible that the subjects of trends are freshmen. Or it is also possible that a few of students are chosen. In either cases, the assumption that the survey of current trends is credible is unreliable to me. Second, the author relies on the poor assumption that current trends continue. Even if the trends are continuous phenomenon on the past years, there is no evidence that the trends will continue. Moreover, It is entirely possible that current trends are aberrant. If so, the assertion that Buckingham College should build a new dormitory is unpersuasive to me. Third, the author unfairly assumes that the increasing average rent for an apartment in their town causes students to find it difficult to afford off-campus housing. Perhaps the average rent for an apartment is growing higher, it is entirely possible that a studio becomes cheaper. Without considering this possibility, the assumption lends little credibility to me. Finally, it is unfair to assume that the only attractive new dormitory makes prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham. It is entirely possible that students consider first the level of faculties. Without considerations of other factors, the author cann't convince me that the assertion is convincing. In conclusion, the assertion that Buckingham College should build a new dormitory to attract prospective students is currently unacceptable to me as it stands. To better uphold, the author should present the evidence showing the reliability of growing enrollment trends, the continuity of trends, other factors influencing on finding off-campus housing, and students' enrollments.

I don't know how to delete this. Please, delete this thread...TT

I don't know how to delete this. Please, delete this thread...TT

#147 "Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them" Are tradition and modernization mutually exclusive? In the most cases of the oriental area, it seems to be true. However, in my opinion, they should be in harmonious with each other. To begin with, I would like to mention about modernization. What is modernization? Doesn't it generally mean "westernization"? At least in such oriental areas as China, Korea, Japan, it means "westernization". In such a misconception, many traditions are destroyed under the name of modernization. The subterfuge of these destructors is that a new building can be created only in the place of empty space. If there exists an old house in a space, a new building cannot be constructed. In this manner, many traditions are treated as the exclusion of modernization and already destroyed by the misconception between modernization and westernization. However, are both of them really exclusive? This question needs lots of considerations. A closer look at many fields of their confliction reveals well the fact that we can harmonize both of them. For example, many Korean traditional instruments are interpreted in a modernized ways. Many musicians are trying to fuse them with such western instruments as guitar, fiddle, and piano. Many Korean beautiful architectures are advanced with the fusion of modern architecture. In this way, tradition and modernization can be fused and developed with giving and taking both advantages and disadvantages. Another important point to be remembered is that modernization is based on the traditions. All things in the contemporary life are created on top of the past. The most representative examples are languages and laws. English is created on the foundation of Greek and Latin languages. Without Greek and Latin languages, we cann't use English nowadays. American law is also created on top of English common-law principles of equity and justice. When considering all of these things, we should not forget the fact that the modernization are based on the past. To sum up, it is true that many contemporary things are destroyed under the misconception of confusing modernization and westernization. To be modernized, people believe that they should give up the traditions and receive the westernized things. However, when considering many things that are efficiently advanced with the harmony of both modernization and tradition, they can be cooperated each other. In addition, we should remember that the modernization is based on the traditions. On the grounds of these facts, I believe that tradition and modernization are not exclusive.

158. ------------------------------ "The Trash-Site Safety Council has recently conducted a statewide study of possible harmful effects of garbage sites on the health of people living near the sites. A total of five sites and 300 people were examined. The study revealed, on average, only a small statistical correlation between the proximity of homes to garbage sites and the incidence of unexplained rashes among people living in these homes. Furthermore, although it is true that people living near the largest trash sites had a slightly higher incidence of the rashes, there was otherwise no correlation between the size of the garbage sites and people's health. Therefore, the council is pleased to announce that the current system of garbage sites does not pose a significant health hazard. We see no need to restrict the size of such sites in our state or to place any restrictions on the number of homes built near the sites." The speaker claims that the Trash-Site Safety Council should announce that the current system of garage sites does not pose a significant threat to the health of Trash-Site. To uphold the claim, the speaker points out the study revealing that on average, only a small statistical correlation between the proximity of homes to garbage sites and the incidence of unexplained rashes. The speaker also cites that there was no correlation between the size of the garbage sites and people's health. However, the claim relies on several dubious assumptions. First, the speaker unfairly assumes that 5 sites and 300 people typifies overall population. However, the speaker shows no clear evidence to support the assumption. It is entirely possible that the samples are chosen in the specific area. Or it is also possible that they are selected in the specific profession. In either case, the claim that the current system of garbage sites does not pose a threat is unreliable to me. Second, the speaker relies on the poor assumption that the rashes represent the health problems. Even if the rashes can be one of the health indications, there is no evidence showing that all of the people developing the rashes are in poor health. Moreover, it is entirely possible that healthy people have temporarily rashes. If so, the claim is unpersuasive to me. Third, it is unfair to assume that the incidence of rashes entirely results from the garbage sites. It is entirely possible that the rashes is caused by their eating habits. It is also possible that they are caught due to environmental factors: air polution, flower pollen. Without conducting the other factors that can cause the rashes, the speaker cann't covince me. In conclusion, the claim that the Trash-Site Safety Council should announce that the current system of garage sites does not pose a significant health threat to Trash-Site is currently unacceptable to me as it stands. To better support it, the speaker should present the evidence showing the reliability of samples, and the evidences that the incidence of rashes is due to garbage sites and the rashes represent the overall health. To better asses the claim, I must be informed about the method of study.

Please feel free to comment my essay. Does the rapid pace of life create more problems than it solves? I think so. If so, why? I think that the rapidity is resulted from the increasing complexity of a society to enable human to be comfortable. Finally, although the human-beings become more and more comfortable, they also produce serious problems: health and social problems. The first thing that I would like to mention here is about the causes of rapidity. Resulting from the human-selfish, human-beings have pursued more comfortable and easier things. To make it possible, human-beings have invented such many things as religion, to ease the anxiety after death, and law, to settle the conflicts between people, not to mention technology. As a consequence, human lives are surely comfortable and easy. Most of us don't have to forage by ourself, get the information in house around the world at anytime, and travel all the world within a few hours. However, such many inventions also mean that we have many things to consider. For example, to build a house, a person should consider law problems with neighborhood, and buy the lands. To attend a school, he should register at the school and meet teachers. In other words, the more things is created by people, the more things should be considered. To take all things into consideration, human-beings have no choice but to be complex and rapid. At the expense of comfort and easiness, the rapidity gives rise to the physical problems. As human-beings always go after the time to do anything, he or she becomes short of times exercising for himself or herself. For example, a friend of mine has worked for a computer software company for 2 years. At the beginning, he often told me that he liked the rapid-space and would enrich in the company. However, he is now in hospital due to the lack of sleep and rest. In this manner, the lack of time to take care of themselves causes many serious health problems. Besides physical problems, the rapidity also breeds mental problems. The lack of time to talk with the others can develop psychological disorder. Nowadays, a person works all day long in office without any permits to chat by company. In addition, a person watches TV without any conversation between his or her family members after work. There is a statics showing well the fact that the patients with psychological disorder are 20 times more than 10 years ago. The statistics reveals well that the complexity and rapidity of today lead a person to develop many mental problems. In short, I think that the pursuit of happiness by human results finally in the rapid pace. As a result, although the human-beings are certainly comfortable and easy, it also produce many harmful influence of physical and mental problems on human-life like many things having both sides of coin. Comparing its advantages with disadvantages, I absolutely think that its disadvantages exceeds its advantages. In other words, rapid pace of life creates many problems rather than solves them in my opinion.

Please feel free to comment my essay... # 119 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People behave differently when they wear different clothes. Do you agree that different clothes influence the way people behave? When it comes to the influence of clothes on people's behaviors, I have the opinion that different clothes breed the different behaviors in that they produce an influence on people themselves and others. More than anything else, the different clothes give a good or bad feeling to its wearer. It is surely true that people feel up in the air when they are wearing their favorite clothes. Their favorite clothes give a person confidence as well as self-esteem. For example, whenever I put on my favorite such clothes as jeans and shirt while working, I can take enjoyment in work itself. In addition, my work performance is always improved. I don't think this is applied to only me. Another example showing it is the military performance. In the performance, the soldiers who walk around the public in their uniforms seem to act more respectful and more in control. I can't imagine that every soldier is really this way all the time. If so, it must be related to their uniforms. In this manner, the clothes can affect its wearer, which in turn affects on behaviors. Besides the self-reaction, the appearance produces also influence on the others. The appearance of people causes the others to treat its wearer appropriately. We can meet many such situations. When people go to a restaurant with poor clothes, the treatment of restaurant to him is very bad. In the same way, when people make it with gorgeous wearings, he is treated with a great care. Reversely, when you go to law office to hire a lawyer, one of the lawers is wearing jeans; the other is wearing a suit. Which lawer do you want to hire? Situations that people are treated by their appearances are too many and I don't need to mention it any more. In short, I feel that different behaviors result from different clothes. In my opinion, the reasons are summarized by people themselves and the others' reaction to appearance. To the aspect of wearer themselves, the clothes can give the confidence and self-esteem to its owner. In addition to this, such appearance as clothes reveals the status of owner, which changes the reaction of the others to its person.

#154. In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this a good rule or bad rule? Use specific reasons and details to support your position. My country, Korea, like many other countries increasingly adopts the policies that discourage the smoking. These include the increased taxes on tabacco and the ban in public places. With regard to this obvious issue that most people agree, I also have the positive opinion in that the ban improves the public health, discourages the smoking, and increases the work productivity. More than anything else, the no-smoking in public places and office buildings improve the public health. When smoking, one damages the innocent people as well as himself who are around regardless of his or her wil. We can usually watch on many TV programs that show many damage of a second-hand smoking. One of them that I watched a few days ago was the housewife who has a lung cancer because of his heavy smoker husband. In this manner, the ban improves the health of many non-smokers. Secondly, it helps the smokers who want to quit smoking. At least, the ban prevents one from smoking in public places. For example, my friend is used to be heavy smoker and has always wanted to quit smoking, but his lack of resoluteness interrupts his wish. When his company bans smoking in the office as one of the methods to improve employee's healths, he can finally come true his dream. In this manner, the bans can help the many people who wish to quit smoking but have the lack will. Finally, it also improves the work productivity. The smoker should stop his works for a moment to smoke. Although one of these interruptions is very short-term, the sum of them is huge. In addition, to work hardly again, the smokers require another time. In conclusion, although I believe that the smoking is the right of adults, the right does not mean that the smokers have the right to damage other people. In addition, the ban helps the smokers who wish to quit smoking and improves the work productivity. For the reasons mentioned above, I strongly agree.

#11 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Universities should give the same amount of money to their students?sports activities as they give to their university libraries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. University faculties sometimes consider about where to invest money. While some people contend that more university money should be used in the libraries, other people contend that university should use their money in the sports activities. With regard to this controversial issue, I have the opinion that university should spend more money in such academic fields as libraries, lecture rooms in that they can give the students more chances to do research better and has no other sources of money. On the one hand, using money in the sports activities has obviously its own merits of both mental and physical health of its students. It is generally agreed that studying requires health. Let's take a hypothetical case as an example. Can a student who has a severe disorder in his or her body stay up all night studying? Besides this hypothetical case, there are many cases around us that a sick student fails the tests or fails the researches. In this manner, both mental and physical health improve the efficiency of a student and sports activies can help students improve health. On the other hand, universities are originally academic settings. Libraries can provide its students with such academic equipments as books, computers, newspaper, and journals that enable students to do researches better. If a university invests its money in the sports activities, it results in the shortage of money that can be used in the academic facilities. In addition, with that situations, students have more interests in academic activities than in their studies. In this respect, universities should invest more money in the libraries. Besides the point mentioned above, the sports activities can make money by selling tickets. However, the libraries cannot charge students admission fees. Without the support of university, the library should be closed by the lack of resources and its students should wander to seek the places to study. In conclusion, although I admit the advantages of sports activities that help students improve both mental and physical health, I disagree the opinion that the university should give the same amount of money to sports activities. The reasons why I disagree are that universities are fundamentally the academic settings and a library has no other sources of budget.

Your essay is very good. I think your essay will receive at least more than 4.0. However, your essay has several drawbacks that undermine your score besides the grammar mistakes. Of course, it up to you whether you receive my advide or not. 1. The conclusion doesnt sumarize the overall essay. 2. Transition word of the second paragraph is not used. Appropriate transition word makes your essay better.

The problem which side you support is totally dependent on your idea. You can support both side of the topic and also support one side of the topic. What I recommend is that you should support the idea that you can write better. And I think that your essay would receive 3.5~4.0 in the way.

I think you don't have to mention your hometown name. If selling mistakes are mended, your essay is generally good. The second and third paragraph doesn't says the appealing reason to the people who live in other town. They seem to be appropriate.

The examples seem to make your essay better.

The first impression after reading your essay is that the connections between sentence and sentence are not appropriate. I think this is the usage of wrong connecting words. In the third paragraph, your essay starts with "On the contrary". I think that the third paragraph says the same thing as the second paragraph. Another development of the topic make your essay better. The conclusion in the fourth and fifth paragraph doesn't clearly strenthen your thought. It is better that the fourth paragraph is omitted and in the fifth paragraph, you should more clearly support your idea.

Hi, Ditoman. Your essay has the appearance of an organized essay. Your introduction and conclusion include your main points and state your point of view. All of this is good. What you do need to work on however, is stronger clarity. Since "luck" is the focus of the essay, it is important that you include strong examples centered around this idea to support your points. When you say, "In this manner, of many things which make people successful, a luck take many proportions to success." in the first paragraph, it is unclear to me as the reader, what you mean. This problem can be solved by providing specific examples to support your point. In your second paragraph, again the idea of "luck" is conspicuously absent. Instead, the paragraph becomes about the importance of human relationships when it should be about the role that luck plays IN obtaining these relationships. A clear focus on topic is essential for a successful essay. The conclusion includes your main points and restates your opinion. Well done. Just focus the essay in a bit more to the question as it is asked and you'll have a great essay. I hope this is of help to you. Best of luck, TM Staff Thanks a lot! Your comment is always really helpful...