anuj

Hi Erin, I am not aware of the "right" way to request for a sticky, so I am posting the request here. Can you please make the post "TOEFL Essay Writing Tips" http://TestMagic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12765 OR an earlier post (containing the same contents) "help me to classify toefl essay's topics" http://TestMagic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=731 as a sticky for the "TOEFL Essays - TWE forum" http://TestMagic.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=37 I have seen many people (including myself) benefitting from the excellent post. I have also seen an equal number of people missing out on this post, once newer posts appear on that forum. It will also help the reviewers in giving more specific and better reviews - if the person posting his/ her essay has already gone through these points. Majority of times, a reviewer ends up re-stating these very points in a review. thanks, Anuj.

I no expert - still here are my views :) Tans, you must be having a decent writing speed - typing an essay of 664 words in 35 minutes. Your essay is on the longer side, as asad pointed out, but I guess that should not be problem as long as you - finish it on time - have enough spare time to review it - do not lose control over organisation of the essay. (fyi - more details of typical essay lengths can be found in "Figure 1. Essay length and human reader score for Prompt C."in the document "Beyond Essay Length: Evaluating e-rater®’sPerformance"at ftp.ets.org/pub/toefl/990112.pdf>. [/color]Themax length of the sample essay in the Figure was around 600) Comments about your essay PROS ----- - lots and lots of points, many of them relevant, described in good detail. CONS ------ - In the intro para, you can summarise the reasons of taking the stand you are taking. - The conclusion is weak - u need to restate the reasons for taking the stand. - Couple of grammatical errors in the essay. - About the structure -- Somehow your essay is organized around examples rather than points. Some of the points are getting overlapped across paras, example - para 3 and 4. -- Somehow I would have prefered an organization something like this - Para 1 - Intro (including summary of points for the stand) Para 2 - No space to improve roads - only way to go under using subway trains - Also not all places connected via roads - so train the only way to go (Basically, pointing to limitation of roads and highways) ... Para 3 - Reduced pollution by better means of transportation rather then trying to improve infrastructure (pointing to one benefit - this one in comparison to improving roads) ... Para 4 - Reduced Traffic accidents and congestion by subways and trains - Also improving existing transportation leads to better transit times - thus again reducing congestion (second benefit ) ... . . . Para Last - Conclusion (summarising the points again) A concluding note - since you are able to come up with decent number of ideas, do not try to push all of them into the essay. Pick only the best among them, try to delineate paras for each properly, along with supporting examples. Use intro and conclusion para to summarise and strengthen them. I have no doubt with a little bit of brushup, you can easily score a 6.0. Anuj.

Check out the "II. Understanding the TOEFL question" in the great post titled TOEFL Essay Writing Tips - http://TestMagic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12765 Anuj.

Hey zorrillo, Congrats for the prefect score. It doesn't get any better than that. :) I guess, TOEFL essays are scored more leniently than the GRE ones, so no need to bother over the 5.0 in GRE AWA. If you have written a decent essay, following the standard guidelines, than you stand a strong chance of getting the 6.0. best of luck, Anuj.

At least 300+, preferably touching 400. Check out portions of this thread http://TestMagic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12735 For an essay, "Bada Hai To Behtar Hai" (Size does matter) :) . But again do not loose control over the organization of the essay, in attempt to increase its content. Anuj.

- Please mention the essay topic clearly, it helps the person reviewing the essay (he doesn't have to dig out the toefl essay list and locate the relevant topic first) Topic: Music tells us something about a culture. What does the music of your country reveal about the culture of your country? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. - The essay is short (preferrable length 300+). Go through earlier posts on the board in this regard. - Tone up the intro and conclusion para. State the relevant points about the "aspects of culture" revealed by the "music of your country" clearly. - The first point - varied demography - is stated clearly in the intro para and supported decently in the second para. - For the second point you could have organized the para stating that - the third para - better. - Some of the other threads which you should check out -- A great thread by Riz on general aspects of essay writing http://TestMagic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12765 -- Another essay on same topic http://TestMagic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11421 - In case you are still in the initial stages of essay practice, pick up "easier" topics (Q - what are these ?? A - go through the toefl essay list and you will realize which are the easier ones). They well help you in getting the basics correct faster. After that you can start tackling the other "tougher" topics. Anuj.

Hey Raoni, Congrats dude !!! Getting a 6 in essay is a good feeling. I also scored a 6 :) http://TestMagic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13570. Same here :) . Anuj.

My final scores - L 30, S 30, R 29. Got a 6 in the essay :), thanks to Testmagic. Anuj. p.s Rest of the details are in a previous thread 240-297 ... 2 Sept 2004 http://TestMagic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12832

- grammatical mistakes. - at times usage of quotes is fine, but in my opinion overusage is equivalent to bad punctuation. Ex. - When you use a phrase, make sure you get it correct. After the trivialities, a note about the organization/ structure. - Your essay lacks contents. Try to come up with more points in favor of "Will-power". You have listed only One point. In case you are not able to think of more than one point in favor of "Will-power", choose some other attribute (even if you strongly believe in "Will-power", do not write it if you cannot think of points in its favor). Also see riz's post on "TOEFL Essay Writing Tips" for general tips on essay structure Anuj

Fundamentally no issues with the essay. Just one comment, try not to overuse "For instance" (or any other phrase/word) - be ready with synonymous phrases/ words. Anuj

Hi Isa, This was a decent essay. I don't have any specific comments about it. This essay should secure you 5+. No.

This thread might help (In case you have not checked out already) TOEFL Essay Writing Tips I personally prefer the Keep It Simple S.... :) principle for TOEFL essay. I don't think the level expected in TOEFL essay is anywhere near what is expected in GRE ones. In TOEFL, even if you don't have a great grammer or vocab you can still get a good score if you stick to the basics. Deviate from the basics, only if you have gained enough confidence about your writing style. (REM - TOEFL is just another test where you need to get a good score and exit; it might not be the best reflection of your writing abilities or best platform to develop one). best of luck. Anuj. :)

- Ditto ... in addition, For the day before ... - go for a good night sleep. - do not touch anything new - you might land up in a mess ... - clear up the loose ends i.e clear up the earlier mess. In case you are not too confident of about some section - say structure - just go through couple of practice exercises - to get yourself into flow. In case you feel that you need to glance through the essay list - just glance through that quickly. & finally chill out and relax ... For THE DAY ... - When starting off with the exam - in case you are feeling the butterflies - allow yourself (& your breathing) to settle down. Spend time with the untimed/ unmarked practice instructions/ questions before starting off with the main test. Start with the main sections (timed and marked) only after you feel that you have settled down reasonably well with the test surroundings, the temperature, your chair, your headphones, the inclination of your monitor, the lighting and more importantly with your breathing. The moment you feel that you have regained the level of focus/ concentration required, stop fooling around with the initial dummy section(s) and move onto the main section (for this you need to be comfortable with the instructions upfront - use Powerprep for that) - The intial questions are the most important for adaptive sections (they determine your marks to maximum extent + they make/ break your confidence/ flow for the future questions). Allow yourself to linger on them a wee bit longer - the extra time spent might help. - You can try closing your eyes in the initial few questions of the listening section (which is the first section) - this might help in focussing/ getting into the flow better. - At times when you make mess of some questions in a section, you might go into a downward spiral in the section - try to avoid that (can't offer any practical tips for that). More importantly don't allow the spiral to extend to other sections. In case you feel that 1-5 minutes break between the sections is less, make use of the leftover section time (in case you finish the section early) - do not immediately click the button(s) for completing the section. Try to regain your composure (& your breathing) and go with a fresh mind for next section. best of luck for the exam. Anuj.

Okay, I will be a bit strict (& perhaps harsh - I apologize for that) with this essay since I strongly believe that you could have written a much better essay, had you stuck to the basics and not tried to overreach. - unnatural (& at times incorrect - wrt the context in which they are appearing) usage of "heavy" vocabulary. Keep the vocabulary simple and along the lines used in normal essays/ writing. Essay is no place to show your mastery over Barron's word list. - Second para off-topic. You are asked about You are not asked to discuss about why some people spend leisure time indoors/ outdoors. - First para off-topic to an extent. --It is okay to give some "background" in intro para, but then you allowed it to "flow away" with the second para. -- Also you never stated your position clearly in the first para (alongwith summary of reasons for that position) - Third para is where your essay actually starts/ lies. You need to work on its organization so as to convert it from a para to a whole essay. Anuj

At least in India for sure they do not send any admission ticket for online registrations. This fact I confirmed with Prometric (ETS) people in Delhi. To be on the safer side, they recommend that you bring the printout of the online/ email confirmation, on the examination date. Otherwise as Minu stated , the confirmation/ appointment number is all that you need , which is ... . Anuj.