Jean Walter

Hi, Finally-Friday, It seems very late that I found your comment. HOwever, it was still helpful. As you guessed, this one was only a draft. I need to read a lot of articles and then practice writing. My 11/25 TWE test was Topic.122; it was simple but still make me a bit nervous. Thank you for your rate.:D PS: Your picture is a little funny...

Thank you very much, Lukas, I'll rewrite this and organize it better.;)

I'm not for comment writing here, I just like to say, it is at least one of the best essays here as I can see!!!

Topic 29: Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. People believe the Earth is being harmed by human activity because of environment pollution. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live because of the convenient infrastructure. However, I think we do not always do what is better for the Earth. Firstly, "out of sight, out of mind" is the world's perspective for the environment. We cannot see the hole in the ozone layer, and also we cannot see the pollution in the water. We human beings are the smartest animals. But we always think of ourselves, consequently, the more convenient we get, the more harmful to our planet. Secondly, the fact is that chemicals are depleting the ozone layer, and we have been affected by that. The global warming and the disaster of each year people suffer as we can see are the best examples, such as Hurricane Katrina. It was the caution that we human should actively do something to protect our only Earth. Last but not least, there are still many harmful things in action of human beings. For example, The forest cut down every year cause the extinction of some species of animals; some factories eject the chemicals from their chimneys result of the pollution in the air . In addition, Human's spray poisons on the land we live on and expect that nothing wrong will happen. These poisons eventually end up in our water we drink or shower in. In conclusion, how can we image that we go outside without seeing the blue sky? We should regard the pollution problems on our planet as the emergency situation and cope with it actively. Never think it is nothing happen to you and ignore it. I think this topic a bit difficult to give examples. I tried to collect information and think for a while before I write. I examined this topic with using "Essay simulator" within 30 min. I'll be thankful for your comments!!

Topic 13: Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. I prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants because of convenience, diversity of food and getting more time to gather near and dear ones. To begin with, if you eat at restaurants with your friends, you don't need to be afraid to prepare the food. It is difficult to prepare food for many friends. You must go to the market and buy original materials means that you have to design different kinds of food to satisfy your friends. For me, it is difficult things to do so because I am not confident of my cooking. On the contrary, if you want to eat at home with your friends, you just need to order on phone and get the fresh food delivery in minutes. Moreover, it makes another outdoor activity possible for you if you eat outside. It means that you have another time to gather with your friends. Instead of eating at home with wasting time and money to cook, you have much more time to talk with your friends. In addition, after dining outside, you can drink a cup of coffee or go to the theatre with your friends if you want. Finally, there are many different types of restaurants you can choose. For example, if a family wants to eat outside on Friday evening, they may come up with the following choices: an fine Italian restaurant, a fine Chinese restaurant, or a fine Mexican restaurant. In the process, an Italian restaurant may be conservative for a family. The atmosphere is comfortable and is often quiet. The family can eat delicate food and indulge it. There are romantic candles flickering, accompanied by soft music. The family gather should be fairly nice and warm. In summary, it is the way if you don't want to find hassle yourself to make food. Thus, it is also a better way for your mother if you bring her outside for dining instead of making foods in the smoking kitchen. "Instead of eating at home with wasting time and money to cook..." I have problem of using "with" here. Be thankful for your comments!!

oOps !!

Lukas,thank you for your estimate!! I'm encouraged by hearing from your comments because I will have exam on next Friday. I have trying to read a lot of articles as I can. It's very hard to me and seems too late but very useful!!!:idea:

Thank you for your comments! I will take it in my next essay.:)

I agree that children should be required to help with household tasks as soon as they are able to do so. The following are my reasons. First of all, children should be required to do the household tasks because the tasks are the basic living ability for them. If children cannot do any kind of household task, 1.they cannot adapt to the dormitory life in the future. For example, one of my friends, Lisa, she cannot wash her clothes on her own. Every day 2.she sends her clothes to the laundry, but I think it is kind of wasting money and time. She told me that her parents always help her do everything since she was born, so she cannot do any household task. She needs to learn from the beginning. 3.It is a horrible experience as a college student. Furthermore, parents need 4.children's help while they are working. Although the household tasks are not the obligations that children should be required to do, children should aware of how hard their parents make money for living. 5.So it is a piece of cake for them to do the household tasks, such as washing cars, discarding garbage, and mowing the lawn. Finally, household tasks can discipline children to become independence, and responsibility. As mentioned above, even though no obligation for children to do household tasks, through doing the trivial tasks children can learn about how to responsible for their assignments. 6.If they will encounter likely situation in their dormitory life, they can be independent rather than rely on someone else. In conclusion, my mother taught me a lot of chores since I was children. Although I sometimes did wrong during that period, I learned a lot from my parents about living experiences. So I think it is better way to 7.nurture child independent, responsible, and learn the basic living abilities. 1.)Can any sentence better than that one? 2.)How to describe the clothes which were wore? 3.)I’m not sure of this sentence. 4.)children's help or childrens' help? 5.)Can I describe like that? ”a piece of cake” 6.)Is this sentence correct? 7.)How to use ”nurture”? Is this correct as described above? 8.) Are there any grammar wrong or vocabulary problem? 9.)Can you score this essay for me?

Topic 127: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Reading fiction (such as novels and short stories) is more enjoyable than watching movies. Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position. I disagree that reading fiction is more enjoyable than movies. I think movies are easily to pay attention because of visual scenes and sound, the movie stars, and you can share them with your friends. First of all, watching movies easily leads you to the context of movies. It is the same situation as watching TV at home because you can easily get the information what the images want to tell you. The words have many connotations that sometimes you need to figure out all the contexts of books to get the clue, but movies give you abundant images to find and guess what next is. Secondly, you can through watching movies to admire and support your idols. For example, Leonardo Dicaprio is my favorite Hollywood movie star. I look forward and excited about watching his newest movie. I watched first his movie is "Romeo and Juliet" of which he shot many years ago. If movies are shot by the movie stars who you like, you can easily enjoy and be touching by the stories. Last but not least, watching movies are more enjoyable than reading fiction because you can watch the movies with your friends. Going to the theatre with your friends and buying some popcorn and cola, when the plot is funny, you laugh with your friends; when the plot is sad, you cry with your friends. I think reading fiction can not be shared like this way with your friends. In conclusion, I think words themselves have magical ways leading us to another world, and they also can be portable anywhere, however, if you really want to relax yourself to enjoy the stories, why don't you choose to see a movie?

Topic 97: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. From my perspective as a college student, I disagree that teachers’ salary should depend on their students’ learning. First, teachers have to teach all sorts of students, possibly intelligent but indolent, dull but diligent; therefore, the achievement of students cannot reflect the efforts of teachers fairly. In other words, it is not teacher’s responsibility for the talent and attitude of students; if teachers do their jobs adequately, they should not take the consequences of the unpredictable achievements of their students. Furthermore, no correctly standard means can be used to measure how much the students learn. For example, an art teacher surely teaches the knowledge of art, such as how to appreciate a painting, a sculpture, and even a building, and then who can tell how to decide how much the teachers should be paid? Finally, sometimes a right student with a wrong teacher may also result in low learning achievement. In that case, reducing the teachers pay is not the best way to improve the situation. Generally speaking, if a teacher is not qualified, the school principal can replace him/her with another teacher. In sum, I think that adjusting teachers’ pay according to how much their students learn is not a good idea: first, teachers cannot choose students to teach; second, it is hard to measure how much students learn; finally, if a teachers is not qualified, he/she should be changed immediately. Topic 120: Decisions can be made quickly, or they can be made after careful thought. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The decisions that people make quickly are always wrong. Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion. I disagree that those people who make quickly decisions are always wrong because it is an inherent ability to make quickly decision for human being. First, decisions are not always wrong in quickly making. It depends on what kind of situation you encounter, if you confront with urgent situation, for instance, a fire, it is impossible for you to make after careful thought. In addition to an urgent situation, quickly making decision is an inherent ability in many behaviors, such as sleeping, eating, and walking. The behaviors are quickly made, but they are not always wrong. Second, some kinds of decisions should be made immediately. For example, a child cannot make decision after careful thought when he/she want to sleep; a soldier cannot make decision after careful thought when he fight in a war; a doctor cannot make decision after careful thought when he is operating. Finally, It have advantages of making quickly decisions when you encounter emergency. I believe if you are alert in reacting sudden things, you will solve them quickly and easily to react any kind of emergency. I believe the quick reaction can be disciplined. For example, if you often participate in camping in the mountain, there are many unpredictable situations, but if you have many experiences in coping with such situation, you can make quickly and correct decision. In summary, I believe it is not always wrong in terms of certain careers to make quickly decisions. Because of their rapid decision, they can solve their problems. I need more and more practice to improve my writing, so I never get tired of practicing it. I am luck finding this forum so that I can type my writing every day. However, thank those who always give their great patient and waste their time on revising other peoples' and my poor writings.

Dear Lukas, I've learned a lot from your comments. I will improve further and correct my faults. Thank you very much !!!

Hi, everyone, please score the essay.:D Thank you a lot. 　　In my opinion, as a college student, I disagree with that teenagers have jobs in their studying period. Many friends of mine have part-time jobs after school, but I think there are some negative factors. Here are my reasons. 　　First of all, teenagers are easier to be influenced by the environment so that if they work in a wrong place, they are easier to do wrong things especially in their ages. For example, when I was a junior high school student, one of my friends, Ariane, worked in a pub, and then she became smoking while working. Now she is hardly to kick the habit and she regretted making some bad friends who taught her to smoke. 　　Furthermore, I think the purpose of high schools for teenagers are studying. They should pay more attention on their knowledge. If teenagers have jobs, they must busy themselves and concentrate on their jobs. The studies of high school may make them feel boring and tired because the environment outside is more interesting than in high school. If they start to distract from other things, they would start to give up something in school. 　　Last but not least, I think the jobs which the teenagers do are not very useful for their future. For example, sending newspapers, washing dishes, and serving trays are the basic jobs which teenagers usually do. The skills are not helpful for their future and the money is not much enough to pay their tuition. I think they should prepare on their basic education because the education of high school is their basic responsibilities. What's more is that I think most of parents want their children to have more professional abilities rather than just learn a lot of basic skills. Many of my friends in high school told me that they should pay attention in high school and they think it is foolish to make little money for their entertainments in that period. 　　In conclusion, I think teenagers are not mature enough to do and choose the jobs outside, so I gave a negative thoughts about that teenagers have jobs while they are students.

I think the communication and conversation are the main ideas of your writing, so I think both ideas are not enough to support your statement. Maybe you can expand it on...for example, you can manage the telephone and email well so that you don't need to fear of losing personal space, something like that. My comments are not the best one to revise your essay, so...:idea:hope that will help you.

Not at all, I've read some much harsher comments than yours. Anyway, I appreciate that.

Hi,perelizer , I have underlined your main reasons above. I think your opinions are not strong enough to serve your reasons because those reasons you given are very similar to each other. Perhaps too many repetitions are my comments. You need to think broaden and state lots examples to support the reasons.

Hi, every one, I know that of checking an essay is a tired job, especially the unvaried Toefl topics. Tha't why I want to express here how I appreciate you guys' comments. Here is my boring essay, if you only check the examples that is ok, I just want to know whether my examples are strong enough or not. Topic 10: When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success.?Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position. 　Most people think that luck has nothing to do with success. I disagree with that quotation. The following are my reasons. 　First of all, you cannot choose your gene but luck determines the gene of yours. Your parents cannot help you choose, so the personalities of yours always have been determined by luck. The personalities such as optimism, pessimism, and the inherent illness of your body are the keys which influence you to success in the future. 　Second, the background and environment always shape a successful person because of luck. If one who was born in a rich family, one would be given better substantial materials than others and the opportunities always follow the lucky man. For example, if you had a big test, but the situation of that day was bad to you, you got a bad score, that is, you were an unlucky one than others. 　Finally, most successful people are lucky. It is no doubt that most successful people have met some people who helped them to success. It is possible that one works so hard but he or she never gets success because they cannot meet the one who leads them to a better way. For example, singers cannot success if they hadn't met an agent who shaped them into their individual styles. 　In conclusion, I think successful people always follow the potential factors of luck with them. The timing, environment, and opportunity, including the individual inherent personalities, diseases are all the factors which influence one to success or not. within 30 minutes

Because this article is repetition of above, I've cut down.

Topic 30: It has recently been announced that a new high school may be built in your community. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details in your answer. 　　I wholeheartedly welcome a new high school built in my community. The following are my reasons. 　　First of all, with a new high school built in my community, students can save daily trasportation costs and traffic hours to attend school and return home. I will speak of myself. When I studied in the elementary school, my house was very far form my school. I had to get up early every day to catch up the bus toward school. As fas as the getting-tired and mony-costing routines were out of concern with the cost of these physically exhausting and expensive routines, my fathers then decided to move into a new apartment close to my school. From that time, I walked to school for free and I had more time to sleep, study, and join the interesting activities after classes. 　　What's more is if high school built in my community, parents won't worry about their children because if children study far from community, they cannot arrive home on time. If teenagers study nearby home, parents can concern their children immediately, and directly know their childrens learning situation and communicate children's teachers. 　　Moreover, with the same considerations about time and expenses mentioned above, more and more parents plans to settle their family near schools. As a resault, the market values of houses in the neighborhood of schools go up constantly. If a district is deemed a cultural and educational district, the real estates in that area are always in high prices and the supplies are able to meet the demands. That is the caused by the requirement that the children could go to the school more conveniently. 　　Lat but not least, it could not be denied that a school in the neighborhood could provide inhabitants activity spaces, where they can do exercise or just take a walk, and even hold a conference. In general, the school is open to the public on weekends and holidays, and the communities are permitted to use, such as playgrounds or other facilities to do exercise. I think this is the way in which school repay the community for their endurance of the noises made by students. 　　In sum, I firmly support the plan to build a new school in my community.

sorry, I put wrong place.

I can see only one reason in your essay, you may think about more ideas to support your preference, such as how about the teachers? how about studying environment? or what is the different rule between a large uni and a small uni?....Because the topic is asking you which type uni you prefer.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------- The ideas you give are clearer than me, but some grammar and modification can be better.[clap]

You'd better have a very clear standpoint to agree or disagree. Choose one and explain your ideas persuasively even to fake it. I think middle ground can't get high score.

What do you mean my presentation is not clear? Can you give me more clear answer? I really can't figure out why. However, thank u very much for ur comment, I appreciate that. I think the potential power should be corrected to potentiality.:eek:

it's terrific stuff!!