atnoon

INSEAD is number one B-school in France and number 6 in 2002 world MBA ranking

verb --> differ = to be not like something or someone else, either physically or in another way Adj. --> different = not the same Noun --> difference = the way in which two or more things which you are comparing are not the same HTH Noon

Corporations have found a resonably quick resolution of disputes, confidentiality, and dramatically reduced costs are the advantages of settling differences privately by using mediators rather than the courts. ©that dramatically reduced costs, confidentiality, and resonably quick resolution of disputes (D)that confidentiality, dramatically reduced costs, and a resonably quick resolution of disputes Every words is the same between © and (D) except the order. I have learned that in parallel structure, words/ clauses should be ordered from short to longer, specific to general, etc. Or you can see the trend or sequence of words/ clauses. HTH Noon

I'm here!:D Miss me?

Before they die It's the time of the French Revolution and they're doing their usual daily beheadings. Today they're leading a priest, a prostitute and an engineer up to the guillotine. They ask the priest if he wants to be face up or face down when he meets his fate. The priest says that he would like to be face up so he will be looking toward heaven when he dies. They raise the blade of the guillotine, release it, it comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. Being devoutly religious, they take this as divine intervention and release the priest. Next the prostitute comes to the guillotine. She also decides to die face up, hoping that she will be as fortunate as the priest. They raise the blade of the guillotine, release it, it comes speeding down, and again suddenly stops just inches from her neck. So they release the prostitute as well. The engineer is next. He too decides to die facing up. They raise the blade of the guillotine, when suddenly the engineer cries out: "Hey, wait!! I see what your problem is!"

Engineering 101 What the Engineer says. (What it really means) A number of different approaches are being tried. (We are still grasping at straws.) We're working on a fresh approach to the problem. (We just hired three kids fresh out of college.) Close project coordination. (We know who to blame.) Major technological break through. (It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.) Customer satisfaction upon delivery is assured. (We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.) Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive. (The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.) Test results were extremely gratifying. (We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.) The entire concept will have to be abandoned. (The only person who understood the thing quit.) It is in process. (It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.) We'll look into it. (Forget it! We have enough problems for now.) Please read and initial. (Let's spread the responsibility for the mistake.) Give us the benefit of your thoughts. (We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.) Give us your interpretation. (I can't wait to hear this!) See me, or Let's Discuss. (Come into my office, I'm lonely.) It's all new! (Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.) :DNoon

I really like the first one:D

Hi Tuong! I've not seen you for a long time too :) I'm fine for now. I'm not busy as I was last 2-3 months, so I wished I can often visit here:D I miss all smart guys&gals in this fab. forum. For this Joke, I like it even though I did't laugh it out load at first reading time, my face was shaded by BIG smile. It HIT, doesn't it? I thought the 3 first sons are .....er.... GOOD but the last......he....oh! She's.......Clever.[dance] By the way, HOW ARE YOU?? Noon

Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free." The second man said, "My son is a car salesman and now he owns a multiline dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend a new Mercedes, fully loaded." The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stock broker and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio." The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?" The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay, and dances in a gay bar. I'm not totally thrilled about this, but he must be doing well... his last three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio. :crazy: Noon

An aircraft is about to crash. There are five passengers on board, but unfortunately only 4 parachutes. The first passenger says "I'm Shaquille O'Neill, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers need me, it would be unfair to them if I died". So he takes the first parachute and jumps. The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, says "I am the wife of the former President of the United States. I am also the most dedicated woman in the world, a Senator in New York and America's potential future President. She takes one of the parachutes and jumps. The third passenger, George W. Bush, says " I am the President of the United States of America. I have a huge responsibility in world politics. And apart from that, I am the most intelligent President in the history of the country and I have a responsibility to my people not to die". So he takes a parachute and jumps. The fourth passenger, the Pope, says to the fifth passenger, a ten year old schoolboy "I am already old. I have already lived my life, as a good person and a priest I will give you the last parachute". The boy replies "No problem, there is also a parachute for you. America's most intelligent President has taken my schoolbag..." Noon [:o)]

[:o)]

President George Bush was visiting an elementary school today, and when he visited one of the 4th grade classes, they were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word, "tragedy." So, our illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a tragedy. One little boy stood up and offered, "If my best friend, who lives next door, was playing in the street, and a car came along and ran over him. That would be a tragedy." "No," said Bush, "that would be an accident." A little girl raised her hand. "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone in the bus, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explained the President. "That we would call a great loss." The room grew silent. No other children would volunteer an answer. President Bush searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally, in the back of the room, a small boy raised his hand. In a quiet voice, he said, "If Air Force One, carrying Mr. & Mrs.Bush, were struck by a terrorist missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy." "Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?" "Well," said the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly wouldn't be a great loss!"

Sawasdee ka!:) The dissappointed salesman of Coke returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs ?" The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters.. First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand.. totally exhausted and panting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed.Then these posters were pasted all over the place" "That should have worked", said the friend." He replied, "Well, I didn't know Arabic, neither did I realize that Arabs read from right to left..." Noon

Sawasdee ka!:) I haven't visited TM for 2 weeks because of visiting my parents in countryside. At there, the internet is very slow but now I'm in Bkk. So I can frequently walk around TM as usaul and I come this forum to see all you guys smile. Is it late to say 'HAPPY NEW YEAR 2003' to you all?:) Les frenchs spike goud l'english !.. Three men, an Italian, a Spanish and a French went for a job interview in England. Before the interview, they were told that they must compose a sentence in English with three main words : green, pink and yellow. The Italian was first : "I wake up in the morning. I see the yellow sun. I see the green grass and I think to myself, I hope it will be a pink day... The Spanish was next : "I wake up in the morning, I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the pink panther on TV." Last was the French : "I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone "green...green...", I pink up the phone and I say : Yellow ?" HAPPY NEW YEAR![:X] Noon

Sawasdee ka!:) A blonde buys a ticket and wins the lottery. She goes to New York to claim it and the man verifies her ticket number. The blonde says, "I want my 20 Thousand Dollars" The man replied, "No, madam. It doesn't work that way. We give you one million dollars today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 months." Blonde says, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explained that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest during the next 19 weeks. Blonde, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my 20 thousand dollars right now, then I want my 10 dollars back!" Noon

:D A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him: "Daddy, what's Sex?". "OK!" He thinks this day was bound to come, and I am not going to let my little princess learn about Sex from the streets. So, he sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs. Then she asks: Daddy what is "A Couple"?. And he carries on: a couple are the two people involved in the sex and gave her complete details. He tells her how male and female are attracted to each other and how they make love. The father finally asks: "So why did you want to know about "a couple" and "Sex" ? "Oh, mummy said lunch would be ready in a couple of secs..." A good father???

:D BOY : I can't leave you ... GIRL : Do you love me so much?? BOY : It's not that. You're standing on my foot. BOY : May I hold your hand?? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy. GIRL : Did you miss me while I was away?? BOY : Were you away?? GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night? BOY : What time was it?? GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me ... GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring?? BOY : Sure, what's your phone number?? GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest ... BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple. GIRL : Do you remember when you proposed to me? I was so overwhelmed, I couldn't speak for an hour ... BOY : Yes Darling, that was the happi est hour of my life ... GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever ... BOY : Don't you ever want to improve?? BOY : I love you and I could die for you! GIRL : How soon?? GIRL1: Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss?? GIRL2: I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth. BOY : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours! GIRL : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours!!! BOY : Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice? GIRL : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice!!! BOY : May I have the pleasure of this dance? GIRL : No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!! BOY : Will you come out with me this Saturday? GIRL : Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!! BOY : Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out! GIRL : Okay, get out!!! BOY : Shall we go and see a film? GIRL : I've already seen it!!! BOY : Do you think it was fate which brought us together? GIRL : Nah, it was plain bad luck . Noon:)

[/size] Congratulations!!! [/size] Thank for good information. Noon:)

Sawasdee ka!:cool: 'Except (conj., prep.)' I guessed. This question tests you its meaning. 'There are' and 'How' should not be choices. 'of + a determiner (A/The.....) + Nose' because 'Nose' is a countable noun. Just 2 Baht Noon:)

Sawasdee ka! Let me guess na ka:o All-taking --> all-taken. Picture was taken.... I guessed © ever lived At this place, still acts as Adv. and as far as I know 'Noun + of + noun'. So, it's better to change 'of' to prep. Just 2 Baht Noon:)

Some more jokes :) Teacher: How come you do not comb your hair? Sam: No comb, sir. Teacher: Use your dad's then. Sam: No hair, sir. Teacher: If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 on the other, what would I have? Class: Big Hands!!!!!! In Sam's house -------------- Father: Your teacher says she finds it's impossible to teach you anything! Sam: That's why I say she's no good! Father: Sam, how can you call your aunt stupid? Go and say sorry to her. Sam: (to the aunt) Aunt, I'm sorry you're stupid. Sam: Mom, teacher was asking me today if I've any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school. Mom: That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. So what did she say when you told her you're the only child, my dear? Sam: She just said ... 'Thanks goodness!' In a clinic ----------- Doctor: I've "bad news" and "very bad news" for you. Patient: Well, might be better give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you've 24 hours to live. Patient: What?! 24 hours! That's terrible! That could be even worse then? Tell me the very bad news. Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday. Noon

1. A daughter sent a telegram to her father on passing her B.Ed exams, which the father received as "Father, your daughter has been successful in BED." 2. A husband, while on a business trip to a hill station sent a telegram to his wife "I wish you were here." The message received by the wife was "I wish you were her." 3. A man wanted to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party. So he ordered a birthday cake. The salesman asked him what message he wanted put on the cake. He thought for a moment and said "put 'you are getting older but you are getting better". The salesman asked "how do you want me to put it?" The man said 'Well... put "You are getting older" at the top and "but you are getting better" at the bottom.' When the cake was unveiled at the party all the guests were against at the message on the cake. It read : "You are getting older at the top, but you are getting better at the bottom" Morals of the Story: 1. Double proof read everything before you send. 2. Don't trust others to write it right for you Noon:)

:) Pitiful 10 million Afgans.:( Noon

Sawasdee ka!:D CORPORATE LESSON 1 A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says,"I'll give you 800 dollars to drop that towel that you have on." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps backup in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the 800 dollars he owes me?" MORAL OF THE STORY: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk in time with your stakeholders, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. CORPORATE LESSON 2 A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road; he stopped and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthfully slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember Psalms 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalms 129?" Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a Bible and looked up Psalms 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory." MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss a great opportunity! CORPORATE LESSON 3 A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, I usually only grant three wishes, so I' ll give each of you just one. Me first! Me first! says the admin clerk. I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world. Poof! She's gone. In astonishment, Me next! Me next! says the sales rep. I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life. Poof! He's gone. OK, you're up, the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, I want those two back in the office after lunch. MORAL OF THE STORY: Always let your boss have the first say. Noon:)

[/size]:Dwell done!:D[/size]