bhamra1983

A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When, on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this... When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition." She sat under a sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are coming" and I grinned.. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Sloan's Liniment will reduce the swelling," and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick," and I could hardly contain myself. BUT your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that read, "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident," I just lost it! CASE DISMISSED!!

Killer............:D

hey everybody how r u'll ?? Just finshed with my first semester as a Masters Student, was good:D

what does your read?:hmm::D

WAKE UUPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!:D

:D:D Me too.........

A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!":D

CAN YOU READ THIS ?????? Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!:)

PRISON Vs WORK Just in case you ever got the two mixed up, this should make things a bit clearer IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8 X 10 cell. AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X 8 cubicle. IN PRISON...you get three meals a day. AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it. IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior. AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior. IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself. IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games. AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games. IN PRISON..you get your own toilet. AT WORK...you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat. IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit. AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family. IN PRISON...the taxpayers pay all expenses with no work required. AT WORK..you pay all the expenses to go to work, then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners. IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out. AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars Have a Great Day at WORK

John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?" "No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?" John thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license." Judi, sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him -- he's just a wise guy when he's drunk and stoned." Brian from the back seat said, "I told you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!" At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?":D

:tup: Nice ones man, Gr8 going:)

Thanks suja84_ibt, n a happy new year to you:)

thanks samy:)

Thanks man, I guess u saved a few lifes here:D Nice one:tup:

Congrats dude!!! 4000:grad: Amazing

A million thanks to all who replied , and a happly new year to all:)

Nice:D

Height of Plagiarism.:D bhamra copies his post from sumwhere else, kronique copies his post from sumwhere else and guess what they turn out to be the same:) Had posted it earlier Kronique:) Although i used Saddam instead of Osama;), neways Good one:)

Height of Plagiarism.:D bhamra copies his post from sumwhere else, kronique copies his post from sumwhere else and guess what they turn out to be the same:) Had posted it earlier Kron:)

Finally, I receive an award.:D Can i say a speech now:D Any ways, thanks and I hope i keep bringing smile to worried faces:) P.S. : can I say my speech, atleast now!!!!:hmm::D;)

Hmm :hmm: Where did u get this? alright alright i said it "aam khao Gutliyaan kyon ginte ho";) Good work :)

:D:D hehe nice reply Spring

No need for a sex change operation,Women will be women anyways:) :D

ake was on his deathbed while his wife, Becky, maintained a steady vigil by his side. As she held his fragile hand, her warm tears ran silently down her face, splashed onto his, and roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to quiver with sound. "My darling Becky," he whispered. "Hush, my love," she said. "Go back to sleep Shhh! Don't talk." But he was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you." "There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky. "It's all right. Everything's all right, go to sleep now." "No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I slept with your sister, your best friend and our next door neighbor." Becky mustered a pained smile and stroked his hand. "Hush now Jake, don't torment yourself. I know all about it," she said. "Why do you think I poisoned you?":crazy:

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded. "I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?" "I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents." He said, "Do you have a real grudge?" "No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one." "Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?" "Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes." "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" "Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do." Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?" "Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!":doh::D