Please review my issue essay and grade it.

[adusuv]

A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

 

Essay :

 

 

Education plays an important role in students life. The earliest education system to which one is introduced is school system. In schools the most prominent way of teaching students is to follow curriculum. These curriculums will guide the learning process of student. There might be different curriculums in a country but the studentswill be benifitted from same national curriculum until they enter college.

 

Firstly, having same curriculum throughout the nation will give fair and equal chance for all the students in the nation. In countries like India, each state has its own curriculum. These curriculums are different in different aspects ranging from subjects to level of difficulty. If a student from a state wants to take national level entrance exam for prestigious institutions like IIT, then that student has to take extra coaching to cover the material which are not included in his curriculum. This gives a handicap to students who are not studying the same curriculum as others. So if there is a single curriculum at national level then every student will have equal opportunity and chance at these type of exams.

 

In Second, having same curriculum throughout the nation will make easy for students to move from one state to other state of the country. If different states have different curriculums then the student who has moved to different state will have difficulty in adapting to new state's curriculum.

 

In addition along with students, teachers can also move from one state to other and start continuing teaching without any additional training . If curriculums are different then the teachers needed to be trained for specific curriculum to teach.If teachers relocate to a new place with different curriculum then they might have to do additional training or they might lose their job.

 

In countries like India where each state has its own language and culture, it is difficult to have single curriculum. In these states there are curriculums which are taught in their local languages and they can't be made national level curriculums as people speak and write different languages. In situations like these, having single curriculum for entire nation doesn't work . Even if the content of the subject is same and is taught in different languages it will be difficult to have same curriculum as local states include their own languages as part of curriculum.

 

In conculsion, a nation should have same curriculum for all students until they enter college. Having same curriculum gives students equal chance to learn and grow. It will also help students to move to different parts of the country and continue their education with ease.In countries where it is not possible to have same national curriculum they should work towards establish some common ground to give fair chance for all of their students.

[hforgre]

Hello my friend, I just finished reading your essay and I am very impressed by the examples that you used to support your argument. I think you elaborated on the issue very well and took a clear position. However, I must say that your thesis in the intro does not state your position clearly and concisely. It is a little bit confusing. Although I liked your first body paragraph, I found your transition to the second as a bit weak. Your second and third body paragraphs could have been stronger if you had aggregated them. Besides these, I think you did a good job by adding a concession point where you explained the downsides of a shared curriculum however it seems a bit confounding. You could have explicated why different cultures should learn about different subjects. Lastly, you have some minor grammar issues and I really liked your conclusion, but if I were you, I would not have used that last sentence since it is like a restatement of the first sentence of the conlusion.

 

Overall, I think it was a persuasive essay with some structural and grammatical errors. Therefore my grade is 4.0 for this essay.

 

I hope this review is useful for you. I am preparing for GRE as well so if you please read my essay and review it, I will be appreciated.