xatutuik

Hey, I'll try to make some comments on you essay In the second sentence of your introduction you wrote that "especially we can learn from the mistakes of people who made decisions based on emotion ...". But why "especially", actually we can learn from the mistakes of people who made decisions based on logic as well. Thus I think it will be better to continue your first sentence with something like this "As looking back to history we can see that most of the mistakes made were based on emotional decisions." My previous tutor used to say that while writing essays we should represent our ideas in a way that reviewers can not attack them. :) Later I've noticed some minor grammar issues (I can not do much checks for grammar, as my grammar is not so good) 1. "good decision are made" is instead of are. 2. "Good decision maker decide their" decides instead of decide. 3. "and destroyed the houses" maybe their houses? 3. the victimized side

As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position. We live in a century of advanced technological growth. Technology is involved almost in every sphere and has huge influence in our lives by helping us to settle our routine more effectively. Reasonable usage of technology can’t harm a human’s way of thinking and mental potential, because primarily all these technologies are created by the power of human brain, besides technologies help people to relatively quickly handle some problems, but more complicated and newly appeared problems always are being solved by human, moreover by using technologies people can train their brain and obtain more knowledge. Many believe that people who use technology more and more for solving problems will end up with losing their ability of thinking. However seems they forget the fact that all these technological means have been created by human. Furthermore every day we see new useful inventions which help us to solve another set of problems we have today, problems which would seem impossible to overcome less than a century ago. No one can doubt that majority of us is using advantages technology gives us, however all these new inventions show that the mind of our generation is not deteriorated. Many of us are brilliant and intelligent people, who accept challenges of new world and accomplish them. Plenty of people who complain that overusing technology lower human ability of thinking often bring as example the fact that people use technology to solve different problems instead of solving it themselves. Definitely we often use technology to solve our problems easily and more quickly, for example there are many computer programs for different specialists which help them to complete their tasks quickly. Another example is variety of equipment we use in home, microwaves, dish washing machines etc., all these adjustments help us to make our life easier and to save more time for more important problems which can be solved with no machine yet. I remember, when I was at high school once my older relative saw me using calculator, he said that I shouldn’t use it and I should do all calculation by myself. I explained him that I use calculator only to save time, which I can use for solving the main problem I was working on. I had already learned all calculation earlier and I didn’t need to do it by hand at that age. People also often neglect the fact that using technology can also help them to train their brains. For example nowadays there are a lot of games and computer programs for children, which help them to learn new subjects and broaden their knowledge. After using this kind of programs they not only learn new staff, but also they learn how to use computers or cellphones. When I was a child I did not have a computer, first time I deal which it I was quite a mature child. I remember at first it was really hard for me to understand how it works, but after using it periodically I learned many things, eventually I picked up a profession related to computers. We live in a century when we can’t ignore technologies. I am not afraid to say that all of us use some kind of it. I admit that there are a lot of people who totally rely on them and they do not bother themselves to think or do something valuable. However this is not the result of using technologies, majority of them are just lazy to do something, or they are not clever enough. Living some centuries ago when there is no technology, most probably they will be the same. Technology helps us to deal with some kind of problems easily and save time for solving huge and complicated problems, which will make a difference and who knows maybe will help to invent another useful thing.

Well, first of all it will be nice to have some introduction. Though I was told that in GRE essays keeping the standard structure (intro, body paragraphs and conclusion) is not as important as in TOEFL, anyway it is appreciated if you keep close to this structure. Thus in introduction you can briefly state your position and why you have that position and later in body paragraphs develop your ideas more thoroughly. Later in the second paragraph, when bringing an example of calculator you can also mention that using it helps us to save more time for other tasks which can not be done by using technologies yet. As I've mentioned I'm not good at reviews, but I'll be happy if my comments can be useful for you. :) P.S. In fact I'd written an essay for this topic before I saw yours. I will post it as well, please see how is mine :)

Hi. Could you please review my argument essay and say how good (or bad) it is. Thanks in advance. The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner. "Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels." Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation. The argument connects the decrease of shops in Central Plaza and the losses of shop owners with the fact of increased popularity of skateboarding. However there are several questions which need to be answered in order to understand how sound is the claim. The owners of shops in Central Plaza claim, that their sales started to decrease when the number of skateboard users started to increase. Thus we can assume that the only reason for their failure is the increasing popularity of skateboarding. However there is no mention about other factors which could have a negative impact on sales size. For example a question appears, whether there are no other circumstances which could bring to stores decrease? Maybe there have been serious economic crisis in the area which brought to decrease of customers, who can not afford themselves visit stores often as they used to. In its turn this could cause sales’ decrease. The other factor can be the change of quality of goods in the stores, or the service quality. It can happen that stores started to sell worse products, or service in the stores became poorer, thus bringing to decrease of customers. Yet another reason for decreased sales in this particular area could be an opening of new stores, which provide better products, or just are more convenient for citizens. Non of these factors are discussed in the argument, and this makes the claim weaker. Another reason why it is believed that the number of shoppers has decreased is the growth of vandalism in plaza. Even if we accept this as true fact, still there is question which should be answered. Are the users of skateboards the authors of vandalism throughout the plaza. Perhaps skateboard users have nothing to do with these events. Then eliminating them from the area will not solve the problem. Officers of the town along with store owners have better to find the real authors of vandalism and punish them rather than accusing skateboard users without facts. Further it is assumed in the argument that after prohibiting skateboard users, the number of store users in the plaza will return to its previous level. However there are no facts which prove these predictions to be true. The author should answer on what base these predictions have been made. Have there been some surveys among shoppers which show that they will come back to the shops in the plaza after eliminating skateboard users from that area. The argument accuses skateboard users for business decrease in the Central Plaza and also increase of vandalism in that area. However these accusations seem incorrect and with no legal base as soon as the questions mentioned above are unanswered.

Hi technocrat, you have a good essay, and you has attacked a argument very well. I just want to mention one more assumption, which will also be relevant to mention here. It is "whether the new type of millet can be cultivated in the climatic conditions of Tagus? Maybe it needs other conditions than previous seeds".

Hi. This is my first post here. Looking forward for your feedbacks :) Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position. Many people do their choice of profession in educational institutions, mostly in schools. This choice is often based on their favorite subjects, on subjects in which they succeed and why not following to the advices of their teachers. Thus educational institutions have an important role in a life of a student, particularly in a process of profession choice. Teachers and advisers should help students to reveal their real talents and to make a correct choice based on their strengths, so that they will have successful career and will not regret for it. Meanwhile, a teacher should remember that he/she is treating to a young and should be be very sensitive when dissuading a student not to engage in some field. Educational institutions are not only supposed to give a knowledge to young, but also help them to find their preferences, strengths and talents, based on which they will later choose their further study field. During years in a schools, students get acquainted with a broad range of subjects, they try to figure out what is their favorite spheres so that to continue in that field. During their process the help of teachers is highly important. During their work with a student teachers are able to notice which is his/her strengths, after that they can help this student to like that particular field and choose it as his/her further study area. Moreover, there are cases when student’s favorite subject becomes the one his/her beloved teacher taught. This came from the fact, that this particular teacher was able to make student to like his/her subject. Of course all this does not mean that student should ignore other subjects, but most of us in school usually paid more attention to our favorite areas. In some cases it is not that easy to find strength of a student even for good teachers. In such a case it can seem that either student can not succeed in any field or he/she is doing well in all areas. In these situations also teacher’s attitude can have great impact in student’s further decision. Teachers should provide diverse set of tasks to a student, so that to be able to help him/her to find out which preferences he/she has. This was exactly the case I was in the school. I was good at several subjects: languages, mathematics and physics and informatics. I was not able to understand which one these fields I want to be my further area of study. At first for long time I wanted to become a journalist, than I thought that an economist will also suit my preferences, but eventually I chose Computer Science and that was my teacher who helped me to understand that actually this is my favorite field and I want to pursue it for my life. However, the worst scenario is when teacher sees that a student is trying to pursue a field in which he/she has a little chance to succeed. In such situations teachers should try to make a student understand that he/she is in wrong direction. In order to do this a teacher should be truly sensitive, so that not to discourage a student and not make him/her feel humiliated or lose self-esteem. Surely it can be hard to make one admit that he/she will find very hard to succeed in a field he/she is fond of, especially if that person is teenager, however teachers should not be afraid of this difficulties, they should be patient in their actions in a way of making a student reconsider his/her choice. Educational institutions have a great importance in lives of students. Here students not only find a knowledge but also a elder friends in a face of teachers, who should help them to make find their real talents based on which they can do correct choice of their further education. Sometimes it will be hard for teachers to reveal to a student that the field he/she wants to pursue will not bring him/her to success and even harder to student to admit it, but anyway teacher should bear these difficulties so that their students do not make wrong decision.

Evaluid, I really like your essay and the vocabulary you've used. And frankly I' afraid, if you got 3.5 with this essay, than I will definitely fail with the ones I'm writing now. :(

Hi Vivek :) Though I'm not good at reviewing essays, however I would like to say few words. I really liked ideas you have mentioned in your writing, both about useful impact of technology and its drawbacks. However I think you have better to develop these ideas further, so that you have more elaborated essay. :)