Erin Posted October 24, 2002 Share Posted October 24, 2002 Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives. Automobiles, bicycles, airplanes. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guanrongfox Posted October 26, 2002 Share Posted October 26, 2002 Hi! everyone: This is my essay, please help me to correct it. Thanks a lot.? Topic: Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people¡¯s lives. Automobiles, bicycles, airplanes. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Some people think bicycles have changed people¡¯s lives; some people think automobiles have changed people¡¯s lives. Personally, I think that airplanes have changed people¡¯s lives. There are many reasons why I hold this opinion, and I will explain two important ones due to this limited time. First, airplanes realized human biggest dream, which is flying in the sky. Second, all people of the world can largely reduce the time of travel by airplanes. One important reason is that airplanes realized human biggest dream that human beings can freely fly in the sky. Long time ago, people want to fly, but they could not until the early last century. Since airplanes were invented, it became possible that people challenge and conquer space. Now, people can not only fly in the sky, but also fly out of earth. Furthermore, with the development of science and technology, people will freely travel in out space one day. Another important reason is that airplanes¡¯ speed is so fast that people can largely reduce a lot of time of travel. For example, it takes about 12 hours to travel from America to China by airplanes. However, if people choose to ship, it will take several months. Obviously, the time that people travel by airplanes is far less than that of traveling by ship. As a result, people who come from different countries can easily come together to do their common businesses by airplanes, such as discussing environmental issues of the world. Of course, other transportation vehicles have also some advantage. However, from what I have discussed above, we can easily draw a conclusion that airplanes not only are important vehicles, but also have changed people¡¯s lives in large extent. I believe people will go to other planets by spaceship in future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guanrongfox Posted October 27, 2002 Share Posted October 27, 2002 Hi:Erin! I have a question. Because my teacher told me that I must write a hook in the first passage,I write "first..., second..." in first passage of the essay above. However, I think it is a repeat. I wonder whether I can write like that. Please help me and thanks a lot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atnoon Posted October 28, 2002 Share Posted October 28, 2002 Guanrongfox (very long name;)) My teacher tought me to write ideas in the introduction though but no need to put 'first...,second...'. She said writting ideas in an introductory paragraph is the way to prepare readers what they will know as whole or roughly understand your ideas of essay topics. The introductory paragraph acts the same as the Abstract of thesis or report. Personnally, I like to prepare readers' mind before they go to body paragraphs. Just my 2 Cent:) Noon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vaya Posted October 28, 2002 Share Posted October 28, 2002 Hello! Just one funny thing: [quoe]Some people think bicycles have changed people's lives; some people think automobiles have changed people's lives. Personally, I think that airplanes have changed people's lives. I would say THEY ALL changed people's life, but one less, another more... That's would you should have said :) Do you understand me? If no - don't be shy and post all questions you have. Renata Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guanrongfox Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 Hello Noon: Thank you very much for your suggestion! Moreover, could you give me an example how to write an introductory paragraph based on the above topic that I talked about? Thanks again! Hello Renata: I can understand what you said. Thanks a lot for your suggestion! guanrongfox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smm Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 Please, comment on my essay! I want some feedback! ----------------- Many things have a long-standing and profound effect on our lives. But if I have to choose one invention that has changed people’s lives in the most vital way I will select an airplane. Air travel has tremendously changed our society in the last century. Tourism, business and army depend on aviation. What’s more, globalization is impossible without high-speed means of transportation. World now is a much smaller place than it was one century ago. For example, in 19th century it took at least several weeks to get from London to New York and to get to some remote places even several months. Nowadays flight on supersonic jet from Heathrow to JFK takes only few hours. Some people say that we all live in a local village, and it’s all due to airplanes. Airplanes changed way people rest. Before airplanes were invented people had vacations not far from home, usually in adjacent state or even county. Now with the rise of package tour industry most people go to such remote places as Egypt, Cuba or Europe. Cheap air travel is a key here. One consequence of air travel is globalization, which has overwhelming effect on our society. Executives from around the world study in American business schools. Furthermore, American, Japanese and South Korean multinationals sell goods in almost every country. Airplanes bring about global competition for talents, resources and money. Also, airplanes have changed way wars are conducted. Thanks to air travel wars are truly global now. Airplanes are used for personnel transportation, bombing and spying. Recent wars show that without air superiority you are at huge disadvantage. Air force and aircraft carriers are able to project power to far-off locations. In case of war, air superiority helps to suppress any ground resistance. In conclusion I want to add that every aspect of our lives from business to war depends on airplanes. Without airplanes we would have the very different social order. In my opinion airplane is the one of the most significant inventions of mankind and definitely has changed our lives to a large extent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tetyana Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Hi, smm. I read your essay and one answer come across my mind:"Why his thoughts seem so familiar for me?". And then I saw your " cold winter and cold vodka". I went back to see what country you are and saw Russia. Being Ukrainian in Canada I can differ such thoughts as yours from people from other countries. From time to time I rent some Russian movies and most of the new serials are about " krutoj bisnes i rasborki". Do you really think that airplane can serve only business and war? This is just a question and I recognize that you have right to think so. I like the style of your essay. I have just one correction. In your second sentence you should put 'would' instead of 'will'. "But if I have to choose one invention that has changed people’s lives in the most vital way I would select an airplane". Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smm Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Before I wrote this essay I brainstormed this topic and several ideas immediately came up to my mind. Tourism, business, war... After your answer I tried to think about other ideas for this essay and nothing came out to my mind. What other ideas do you have about the essay? I read first essay from this topic (by guanrongfox) and the only additional thought he has is a dream of flying. But in my opinion dream of flying has not changed people's lives, consequences do. And thanks for your answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tetyana Posted February 27, 2003 Share Posted February 27, 2003 Hi,smm. I am glad you are not angry with me for my response. I will tell you something about airplane. It saves people relationships. I have a girlfriend here and she misses her husband very much. He is still in Ukraine. She flies 4 times a year to meet her husband. It gives her chance to keep a job place. Another thought, airplane help people to do business ( any kind, even family problem ) faster and efficiently. My friend In Ukraine called me and said that I had to go back and finish some matter as for my college diploma. I t was very important for me and I managed to fly back in two days. My problem was solved. But these are just my examples and they may not suit you. Good luck to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desh_pradeep3 Posted February 27, 2003 Share Posted February 27, 2003 hello everybuddy really everyone expressed thier views very sobarly and nicely. in my point of view we can write eassy by little different way. topic: Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives. Automobiles, bicycles, airplanes. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Mankind is well-known in the universe for it's creativity, flexibility, & consistency in invention of new things. Bicycle is one embarked invention for technology in early centuries airplane is further milestone invention. Definitely every transport media contribute a lot on it's basis that's way every transport has it's own value. But in spite of all this Airplane has it's own special identity due to it's lot of a advantages. In early centuries man has dreamed about to fly in a sky like free bird and he tried for that, and at last technology man’s creativity made it possible. So that we can reach at various countries within a very short time. Airplane is the most prominent media, which increased communication between various countries also, export & import businesses. which introduce the concept of global economy. Global economy allows to do the business in any country in which airplanes gives a lot contribution for transportations. One important advantage of plane is , it has reduced gap between peoples among the countries. For example if my any relative is leaving in America she is not so far then me even if I am in India because whenever I want to go there, I can go there by plane within a very short time. Definitely there is other media by which we can reach there like ship, automobiles etc. but the effective way is only plane. We can not only fly in sky by airplane but also we can fly in the universe which gives us new direction for invention which enhanced our scope in various areas of technology. One thing which is little bit high is it’s cost but I think comparing this cost with it’s utilities and effectiveness we can come to the conclusion that the cost is not too high. So at last in conclusion I would like to mention that there is no such time effective transport which enhance our abilities on different platform and makes us more competitive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nu_nam2001 Posted February 28, 2003 Share Posted February 28, 2003 Hi desh_pradeep3:D Your essay is good but it is a bit difficult to read. You should have a comma and also space between each paragraph in order to make readers easy to follow. Also, there are some gramatical errors in your essay and some verbosities that may reduce your scores. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miwa Posted March 1, 2003 Share Posted March 1, 2003 Hi, Erin, This subject is too much for me and took a long time. Please comment on my essay and point out my drawbacks. The plane, the automobile, and the bicycle have had our lives change drastically. Of the three, the automobile has done so most, as I regard. I, therefore, take up it as my subject and I relate why they have changed our lives. The automobile itself is positively a convenient means of transport for our lives. They are the fastst of all transportations on land which carry people individually. Today many are commuting, shopping or traveling in their car, having a nice and personal time. Such was impossible before the automobile. The automobile has doubtless expanded the realm of our lives. More significantly, the development of mass-production methods accompanied that of automobiles. In the year 1903, Henry Ford invented an improved assembly line, and installed it in his car factory, by which not just automobiles, but later, almost all goods were manufactured. It reduced the cost of production, and the reduced cost was passed on to the consumers with more moderate prices. It also truned on cars more efficiently and faster. Aside from being used in the car industry, this invention has workd it was into almost evey business in the world. Today almost everyone has a computer, a telephone, a cell phone, a television, a car, a bicycle, a house, all which use mass-production processes related to the assembly line credited to Ford. I aver that every human life has been much affected by mass-production in some way, and without it, life would be dramatically different. Conclusively, the reasons why the automobile have changed our lives are that people have been able to drive farther away from their house each, and consequently, they have broaden the extent of their personal life, and that with the emergence of the assembly line following that of the automobile, people have been able to buy most goods more easily, and at more reasonable prices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nu_nam2001 Posted March 2, 2003 Share Posted March 2, 2003 Miwa The plane, the automobile, and the bicycle have had our lives change drastically I think "drastically" alludes to negative meaning. Therefore, I think you had better use other words such as considerably, significantly etc.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miwa Posted March 2, 2003 Share Posted March 2, 2003 Hi, nu nam2001, Thanks for your answer and correction of my usage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tetyana Posted April 4, 2003 Share Posted April 4, 2003 Hello people. Here my essay. If the last one hundred years is associated with something, it is technological change. Nowadays we have television, mobile phone, and computer with Internet and e-mail. It is undeniable that humankind has made countless great advances that dramatically change people’s lives. In transportation, for example, we have gone from the horses and buggy to the space shuttle. New transportation vehicles, such as automobiles and airplanes, have become a technological miracle that significantly influence people’s lives. It is hard to say either automobile or airplane has change people’s lives more. Automobile has become almost the first people necessity in the modern fast world. Man today can not do without his car any more. Similarly, airplanes have made a big world “smaller” than it was before. Thanks to airplanes people can cover huge distances in several hours. That’s why I think that although automobiles are big advances, airplanes have change people’s lives more dramatically. Airplanes are very fast and comfortable kind of transportation that serves people in many different ways. Firstly, airplanes give people and their families an opportunity to communicate much better than before. Because of global economy many people have to work in the countries different from those where their families live. If there were no airplanes, it would be impossible for people to see their families very often. Moreover, mass immigration leads to separation of families for a long time. And without airplanes it would be completely impossible to keep families’ communication in that good way as it is now. People can visit their countries several times a year, spend holidays with their relatives and keep connections with their native cultures. My son was born in Canada. I teach him Ukrainian and our native culture. But the most effective way to do it is to visit Ukraine where my son could be in the Ukrainian environment. Thanks to airplanes we can fly to Ukraine couple times a year. He found airplanes very comfortable and fast. Airplanes have made a great contribution to a global economy and business communications between countries. Business people all over the world use airplanes to meet with their executives in other countries and to transport freight. Not only businessmen have benefit from the airplane but also politicians. They use their own airplanes to visit other countries and discuss problems with its leaders. To conclude, I would like to say that modern world could not manage without airplanes. They are involved in every sphere of people’s lives, personal, economical,political etc. Nowadays airplanes are the fastest kind of transportation on the Earth. That's why they have changed people's lives dramatically. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nu_nam2001 Posted April 12, 2003 Share Posted April 12, 2003 Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives. Automobiles, bicycles, airplanes. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. In fact, the creation of every vehicle has affected our lives to different extent. Although the invention of both bicycles and automobiles could change people’s lives, the greatest change in the way of lives may happen after the invention of airplanes. Thanks to airplane’s speed and convenience, airplanes made international investment and genetic as well as custom mixing possible. Moreover, people can use time more valuable when they traveled by airplane. First, international investment became much easier after airplanes were developed. Airplanes could help business men travel form their countries to another. Those business men may be likely to see the opportunity to invest their money on some business in undeveloped countries. That investment not only causes business men richer but also brings the technological improvement and any advances to undeveloped countries. Therefore, airplanes are the origin causing the whole parts of our world developed concurrently. Moreover, airplanes also cause genetic and custom mixing. For instance, a person from Indonesia may move to America to do his business by airplanes. There, he may get married with Native American people causing genetic mixing. Furthermore, the Indonesia man may assimilate some American custom as well as release some Indonesian traditions to the American society. Therefore, custom and traditional overlaping may occur resulting from people can easily relocate from one place to another by planes. Finally, airplanes are considered the best vehicles for saving traveling time. Sometimes, time is very valuable for someone and traveling by planes can help those people reduce time. For example, some business men may need to travel to 3 or 4 countries in only one day. It is impossible to do that if they do not use planes. Moreover, sometimes, there are some serious emergencies that hurt a lot of people. Those ill-fated people need to be removed to the nearest hospital in very short time and planes can help that. Therefore, airplanes are always the best choice when people are in a rush. In conclusion, thanks to very high velocity and comfortability of airplanes, people are able to do business and travel to everywhere in the world in very short period. Also, airplanes could be likely to reserve people’s profit and even people lives. These aspects greatly caused the change of people’s live styles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vertical_horizon Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 Oh Nu-nam this one is much more well-written! Your ideas sound okey, except the 2nd reason: Moreover, airplanes also cause genetic and custom mixing. For instance, a person from Indonesia may move to America to do his business by airplanes. There, he may get married with Native American people causing genetic mixing. Furthermore, the Indonesia man may assimilate some American custom as well as release some Indonesian traditions to the American society. Therefore, custom and traditional overlaping may occur resulting from people can easily relocate from one place to another by planes. Actually it sounds a little bit funny to me... while 'genetic and custom mixing' was really made by every cross-region vehicles :D, of which airplane is just a small element... The other ideas are good and the organiztion is very 'healthy'. Nu-nam, your very big grammar problems are those of the plural/single form of nouns and tense using, are they not? Moreover, people can use time more valuable when they traveled by airplane. For instance, a person from Indonesia may move to America to do his business by airplanes. Sometimes, time is very valuable for someone and traveling by planes can help those people reduce time. And, how come do you always use the word 'cause' too much? Why don't you replace it with 'make' or so? 677 is waving ;), LDP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nu_nam2001 Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 hi vertical_horizon;:D Thanks for your comment on all of my essays. Next time, I will pay more attention on grammatical error. Last time, I just typed my essays on microsoft word and there was no any errors appeared on that. Therefore, I relied on it and did not even re-read my written essays. Thanks again for reminding me about that.. Hope you will keep commenting on my posts.. I can get some idea from your comment..:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parisa Posted May 21, 2003 Share Posted May 21, 2003 Originally posted by Erin Billy Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives. Automobiles, bicycles, airplanes. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. [/quote Everybody know that technology is improving, and it effects the people's lives. The invention of each transportation vehicle, has been effect on people's lives, less or more. In my opinion in comparison with other vehicles, airplane has changed the people's lives more. Before airplane were invented people should spend a long time to go to another country, and it was always a dream for human to fly like a bird. That time we never thought that airplane would change people's lives a lot. Firstly, I should mention the airplane's speed, which have brought human more convenient life. Some people specially some bussinessmen need to travel a lot. They save their time by traveling by airplane. Also nowadays people are very busy, and they cant't spend much time to travelling, so airplane can make it easy. People can travel and visit places which are far from them,in a week. In addition, we can think economically. Many products can deliver very fast, and without any damage. For example, flowers are exported from holland to all over the world. Also we know some countries import foods. It would be impossible if these products couldn't be transported fast. Secondly, it has made globalization. People travel more, becuase it is more convinient and cheaper. Therefore, they can become more familiar with other cultures, and it makes people closer. The world looks smaller, and long distance is not a big problem any more. In conclusion, although the invention of other transportation vehicle such as bysicle, automobile,... have changed peopl's lives, but I think airplane have had more effects on people's lives. The most important benefit is its speed wich have made people's lives more convinient. Also people feel closer, becuase they can make communication easier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasik Posted July 15, 2003 Share Posted July 15, 2003 Hi everybody, I would really appeciate if somebody could read and correct my essay. it is one of the first essays I wrote and I don't know if its composition is any good. Any ideas about my score??? I will try to help others the best I can too. Tkanks in advance, Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives: automobiles, bicycles or airplanes. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Many inventions had a significant influence on people’s lives. Some of them have changed people’s lives more than others such as airplanes that, in my opinion, have changed our lives in the most vital way. They have opened the skies to all of humankind. Tourism, business, and military all depend on aviation. They also have started a new concept of global economy that would be virtually impossible without high-speed transportation. There are many other reasons about how airplanes have changed our society in the last century, but in my essay, I will focus on a few of them and support with a few examples. The world seems to be smaller and easier to explore nowadays. People don’t have to spend several weeks to get to different places on the globe like they did a century ago. We can travel to distant countries within a very short time. For example, it takes about 8 hours to travel from New York to Warsaw. A hundred ago, it would have taken several weeks to travel this distance. The invention of airplanes has also reduced the gap between people around the world and has made communication easier. People whose families and relatives live in different places around the world can visit each other several times a year, spend holidays with their relatives, and keep connected with their native cultures. For instance, if I want to visit my family in Poland, I can take a plane and I will see them within few hours. Airplanes are the fastest kind of transportation, and most people find them very comfortable and enjoyable. Airplanes have changed the way people spend their vacations. Before airplanes were invented, the majority of people spent their vacations not far from home. Now, with the development of the tourism industry, people from North America can go to very unique and extraordinary places such as Hawaii, Egypt or Europe. Fast, comfortable, and cheap air travel is a key component of this industry. Furthermore, airplanes have changed the way wars are conducted. Militaries use them for transportation, bombing, and spying. Recent wars have shown that without air superiority, countries are at huge disadvantages. Another consequence of the invention of airplanes is globalization, which has a very crucial effect on our society. For instance, many business people and politicians use airplanes on a regular basis to meet with their counterparts across the globe. Furthermore, students have more opportunities for education and to broaden their knowledge in different cultures by studying at universities abroad. Additionally, multinational corporations have an increased ability to operate in nearly every country. Not to mention, airplanes bring global competition for talent, resources, and money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madpisces Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 Anybody rate my essay Transportation by vehicle brought a great inflence on the quality living of human being. While there are many ways of transportation, in my opinion, benefits from use of bicycle overweighs the use of other vehicles such as airplanes, automobiles and trains. The most impotant factors for discussion include economy, maintenance and exercise. Bicycle is the most economical way of transportation. Unlike other automobiles, it neither requires fuel to run nor the periodical engine maintenance. It minimizes the expenditure of the most of our daily transportation. It even doesn't requre to be paid for the parking at even busy parking lots The ease of maintenance is another facor to be considered. It is such a beutiful vehicle that it is light, small and compact. It also require less space while parking which eliminates much of the parking space problems at busy business areas. And the third factor which I mentioned last but not least is, the exercise we gain from the bicycle is invaluable. It give a good tone to the muscles of legs and thighs and one can forget doing daily exercise which is a very strenuous and time taking job. As a student, I would choose Bicycle as a way transportation as I need to be economical. Its ease of maintenance makes any student to concentrate in studies and other activities rather than spending much of their time on maintaing huge automobiles. Further Bycycle can give perfect fitness to the body which anyone requires. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ceste Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 could u evaluate my essay?? 036- Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives. Automobiles, bicycles, airplanes. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. There many inventions changing the human life. Of course the most important one is the discovery of the wheel. It doesn’t imply anything alonely but it had become the base of many inventions. Hence, in my opinion the most important vehicle that in the topic is bicycle. Below are several beneficial and specific reasons supporting my idea. Primarily, the bicycle is a vehicle that been made first. It is the invention that human being meet first for transportation by his own power. It became an inspiration for people for new inventions for transportation. People forced their minds to invent the developed one. As a result other motor vehicles were born. That is why it is possible to say it is the ancestor of all vehicles. Secondly, people invented the motor so late. At first he used his own power to supply all his needs. If we imagine that the transportation is one of the most important needs and people provided their this kind of needs with bicycle, it becomes more clear to see its importance for people. Thirdly, of course the automobile and the plane are very important as well, but they have been invented thanks to bicycle. It is impossible for the bicycle to do things being done by those vehicles but in my opinion it is the father of all vehicles. To sum up, what I want to say is the bicycle has served people for a long time in the history even now a day too. It is not only in peoples sake but also in use at thee moment. It still supplies most needs of people. This is the enough change in the life to explain the importance of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TM Staff Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 Originally posted by ceste could u evaluate my essay?? 036- Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives. Automobiles, bicycles, airplanes. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. There many inventions changing the human life. Of course the most important one is the discovery of the wheel. It doesn’t imply anything alonely but it had become the base of many inventions. Hence, in my opinion the most important vehicle that in the topic is bicycle. Below are several beneficial and specific reasons supporting my idea. Primarily, the bicycle is a vehicle that been made first. It is the invention that human being meet first for transportation by his own power. It became an inspiration for people for new inventions for transportation. People forced their minds to invent the developed one. As a result other motor vehicles were born. That is why it is possible to say it is the ancestor of all vehicles. Secondly, people invented the motor so late. At first he used his own power to supply all his needs. If we imagine that the transportation is one of the most important needs and people provided their this kind of needs with bicycle, it becomes more clear to see its importance for people. Thirdly, of course the automobile and the plane are very important as well, but they have been invented thanks to bicycle. It is impossible for the bicycle to do things being done by those vehicles but in my opinion it is the father of all vehicles. To sum up, what I want to say is the bicycle has served people for a long time in the history even now a day too. It is not only in peoples sake but also in use at thee moment. It still supplies most needs of people. This is the enough change in the life to explain the importance of it. Hi, Ceste. The organization of your essay is clear. There are a few things, however, that you should watch for when approaching the TOEFL essay. In your introduction you've stated that there are "several beneficial and specific reasons" supporting your point of view, but you have failed to state what they are. It is important to do this in the introduction so that your readers have a kind of guideline to follow and are clear on where you will be going in the body of your essay. List your main points here. In the body of the essay, you've made a good attempt at being clear and transitioning between points through the use of such words as, "primarily, secondly, etc." You should be careful, however, that your main points support your point of view. I believe you do this in your first paragraph, but the second two paragraphs are spent discussing the negative aspects of future developments like the motor or airplanes, rather than discussing the positive and important contributions of the bicycle. Rethink your conclusion and use it to restate your main points and your opinion. It is not necessary to use such statements as "To sum up" in the case of your conclusion, as your reader knows that you are wrapping up your essay. Sometimes it has a much stronger effect if you simply state your thoughts concisely here. Leave your readers with a powerful thought. I hope this will be of help to you. Best of luck, TM Staff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madpisces Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 Please score my essay Transportation by vehicle brought a great influence on the quality living of human being. While there are many ways of transportation, in my opinion, benefits from use of bicycle overweighs the use of other vehicles such as airplanes, automobiles and trains. The most impotant factors for discussion include economy, maintenance and exercise. Bicycle is the most economical way of transportation. Unlike other automobiles, it neither requires fuel to run nor the periodical engine maintenance. It minimizes the expenditure of the most of our daily transportation. It even doesn't requre to be paid for the parking at even busy parking lots The ease of maintenance is another facor to be considered. It is such a beutiful vehicle that it is light, small and compact. It also require less space while parking which eliminates much of the parking space problems at busy business areas. And the third factor which I mentioned last but not least is, the exercise we gain from the bicycle is invaluable. It give a good tone to the muscles of legs and thighs and one can forget doing daily exercise which is a very strenuous and time taking job. As a student, I would choose Bicycle as a way transportation as I need to be economical. Its ease of maintenance makes any student to concentrate in studies and other activities rather than spending much of their time on maintaing huge automobiles. Further Bycycle can give perfect fitness to the body which anyone requires. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.