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triscia

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  1. Wow you're really good in math! I have the opposite problem :( Depending on what graduate program you are applying this could be really good! Congrats!
  2. Hi, you're a solid writer and I think you can prepare in a few days but you really need to dedicate a lot of time to the test prep. But I've prepared worse things in less time.... :) Anyway, argument analysis is a bit easier in my opinion, and I think it's the same for you (it's much better)! The previous essay would get a 4, I think so if that's your goal, you should be fine, but developing your arguments a bit more certainly wouldn't hurt you, so keep practicing, you'll see how faster you get! Your second essay is a bit weaker in terms of vocabulary I think but your points are better developed. What you lack, though is the "implications" they mention in the instructions. Follow some of your questions with sentences like "in case this happens to be true, then the statement X would be severely weakened" or "should this answer be negative, then the author's claim would gain in strength ...." something like that. They are looking for that too. You could also combine this hypothetical sentences with practical examples. If you do that, your argument analysis will be excellent and reach at least a 5. (My strategy is to get a higher grade for the argument analysis in case I get a strange issue analysis, I'm not saying this is necessarily a good idea for you, but you could consider it). Hope this helped and good luck on Monday!!
  3. Hi technocrat, thank you so much for your feedback, especially on the extended use of the example, that was my biggest issue. I actually completely agree on second part of your evaluation, it is a bit off the point, I realized that towards the end (that's what I get for writing too hastily, I don't normally manage to write so much so I guess I borrowed from the time usually dedicated to my initial reflection). I agree that your example would be much more appropriate ( or should I say germane haha GRE vocab is killing me). I'll definitely try to find a better balance next time and stick to the point more...this was kind of an experiment and your input helped, so thanks a lot!! :)
  4. I think you're on the right track. It is interesting, I wrote an essay on the same topic a few days ago but my arguments were different :) Anyway, it's well connected and follows a clear thought. You could improve it by trying to incorporate some of the GRE vocabulary you feel like you really assimilated and mix up your sentence structure a bit. With these corrections, I feel like this could aim for the top scores!
  5. Hi! In my opinion you have some great elements but this can be improved! Keep using GRE vocabulary, that's a good start. Do make sure you eliminate minor grammar errors (which in turn - no s) and more importantly, try to develop your arguments further more! It doesn't look that complete....but it's a great start!
  6. Hi! I've been told my essays lack examples so I tried to incorporate one throughout my issue essay. I'm not sure if I overdid it, though. I would really appreciate your evaluation of this attempt. Please rate it as well. Thanks a lot in advance!! Instructions: Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position. My essay: People are malleable creatures, whose experience consistently shapes their personality and skills, just like the tide shapes even the greatest cliffs. No matter how strong the material that builds them, the tide always prevails. First and foremost, our daily tasks coalesced with our working environment is bound to influence our ethics and professional skills. Try comparing the same prosperous, motivated worker whose marketing career earned him a management position in two very different companies. One is a creative association whose workers own significant portions of the company and share extraordinary concern and dedication towards the company’s well-being. The other is a competitive corporation where our manager implements directions given to him in order to supervise a large team of people from different backgrounds and disparate levels of motivation. It is difficult to believe that these two experiences could ever shape a similar leader. Our manager of a creative association may be a radiant leader, encouraging insightful ideas of his staff, occasionally directing overly idealistic endeavors towards more practical and profitable projects. His managerial style is relaxed and compassionate, although imposing at times. The corporate manager in which our marketing prodigy developed, is a rather assertive, controlling and authoritative figure whose methods range from helpful suggestions to intransigent demands needed to warrant the overall success of the company. Following the example of the two leaders, it is fair to assume that these two, at least professionally, very different people have divergent success standards. Being the only manager of a creative association, our off hand manager will probably be focused on the success of the company, therefore developing altruistic tendencies that sometimes lead towards values such as solidarity and community-building. He is likely to be less egotistical compared to the person working in a large corporation, whose ladders he needs to climb. Overall well being will fall behind priorities linked to the personal promotion of our corporate leader. The success of his department will be in function of his impeccable record, whose sole purpose lies in the advancement of his career. Try to guess which leader will attend personal events of his staff and which one is more likely to play golf with his superiors or network at important events corporate events. Finally, while some may argue that it is our personal predispositions and our level of education that more often define our professional persona, my example proves that our social habits may differ in particular environments and our effective role may influence the relationship we have with our coworkers. Furthermore, people with the same education may develop their knowledge in fundamentally different way: take for example a Harvard lawyer whose career revolved around a divorce cases and compare that person with an environmental lawyer. Even though their educational basis differs in nothing but minutia, the dichotomy of the direction in which their knowledge developed can be explained exclusively by their professional surroundings. To conclude, just like rocks, leaders’ personalities come in many different shapes and forms, which inevitably disclose all the challenges and inclement or auspicious circumstances in which they were created. Our past achievements and failures not only define who we once were, but also who we seek to become.
  7. Hi Sencer! I'm not sure but I think your language should be a bit more academic than that. I feel like you are using too many idiomatic expressions and informal structures, which may work perfectly for TOEFL, but is not really the GRE level. Also, you should perhaps consider focusing more on the quality rather than the quantity: again, it is not an assessment of your English, they are interested in your reasoning, which is amateurish in my opinion. Also, check your grammar a bit... Hope this helped! :)
  8. Hi there! My advice to you is not to use the abbreviations (that is where instead of that's) and to subtract from the introduction and add it to your body paragraphs (5 total paragraphs is optimal, so I've read). also, try to use some GRE words. Other than that it's pretty good!
  9. Hi there! I think you developed some interesting points but there are a few things you could improve: 1. try writing diverse sentences -- don't always provide an example by saying the word "a good example is...". Also every time you have a superlative (the best, the biggest, the smallest, the loneliest) you always have THE :) Also, remember 3rd person singular in present simple requires an S (a good leader strives for the best would be correct)! I already gave this advice to someone on this blog but I'll say it again, if you feel your grammar is keeping your score down, tackle your grammar first, then start practicing for GRE. There are many free websites that offer great grammar exercises, perhaps you should try it! Good luck with everything!
  10. @Al2ola, sure no problem, I mean all that I said. Don't make your intro too long either, I read yesterday on the kaplan blog we shouldn't focus too much on the introduction. So perhaps you can keep it short just camouflage it so it doesn't look like a blunt answer to the question ;)
  11. I disagree with barryDC's points, I actually liked the sentences he/she objected to. I'm not sure you should start your conclusion with "So..." but maybe that's just my idea. Overall it's solid, it is well connected, the issues you bring forward are to the point so I think you'd get 5 or 5.5 for this one!
  12. @Al2ola yours is great! Good for you! @watiss: your intro is too long and it probably took you too much time. I read an interesting article on kaplan test GRE blog, and the author (who teaches GRE prep courses) wrote that the long introduction such as those we were taught to write in high school is to be avoided on the exam day! They don't care if your essay is 'elegant', they are paid to decide if you presented solid arguments, so focus more on your body paragraphs and try to develop your thesis a bit more. I think that would greatly help you!
  13. Hi again! I liked the first essay I read from you better, but this one's okay too. You have many examples, which is great and you are using some GRE words so kudos there! I really like your introduction and how well connected it is with the first paragraph! However, I think that your first two sentences of the second body paragraph could be merged into one, also in order to clarify them....I understood what you wanted to say only after I read the example, so I'd fix that a little bit. I'd elaborate a bit more on the conclusion (I think you need a stronger conclusion on this one, compared to the argument analysis). Overall I'd give you 4-4.5.
  14. Hi, I'll try to help with this one but bear in mind I've never taken the GRE. First of all, did you write all of this in 30 minutes? If you didn't maybe try practicing with the time limit, otherwise you'll get lost on your exam day. If you have, then try writing less but leaving enough time to check for grammar mistakes because they are not few. Also, I don't know how much time you have to prepare for GRE but if your time is not limited, I'd leave this section for a while, focus on grammar rules and mistakes you tend to make and then go back to writing essays. As I said I've never taken the GRE but I do work with a few English students and let me tell you, when they skip too many grammar rules and then come to me saying they only want to do TOEFL exercises I cringe because it's slapdash and just useless. You'll need less time to go over your grammar and then start writing, once you're more comfortable with your language skills. Try this website: ego4u.com -- I think it's very organized and provides lots of exercises, not to mention it's completely free. Or choose a different website, your choice. I don't mean to bring you down, I hope you're not disappointed but you have some interesting ideas that are hidden behind unsatisfactory grammar. Perhaps reading online articles or books would also be beneficial. Remember, if you get into your program of choice, you'll have a lot of writing to do, so this is a good preparation for that as well! :) I wish all the best!
  15. Hello, sorry everyone I just saw your replies. @Susan, thank you! That is very reassuring. @Al2ola, I read your essay and honestly I like it better than mine! You definitely raised more issues and it looks very complete! I wish I was able to write as much...I'm working on it but the GRE preparation taught me that I'm actually a slow writer, never knew that! 30 minutes just fly by....Anyway, I read another essay of yours (a topic issue) and I think that if your math is as good as your English, you're doing so well already!
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