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Wow you're really good in math! I have the opposite problem :( Depending on what graduate program you are applying this could be really good! Congrats!

Hi, you're a solid writer and I think you can prepare in a few days but you really need to dedicate a lot of time to the test prep. But I've prepared worse things in less time.... :) Anyway, argument analysis is a bit easier in my opinion, and I think it's the same for you (it's much better)! The previous essay would get a 4, I think so if that's your goal, you should be fine, but developing your arguments a bit more certainly wouldn't hurt you, so keep practicing, you'll see how faster you get! Your second essay is a bit weaker in terms of vocabulary I think but your points are better developed. What you lack, though is the "implications" they mention in the instructions. Follow some of your questions with sentences like "in case this happens to be true, then the statement X would be severely weakened" or "should this answer be negative, then the author's claim would gain in strength ...." something like that. They are looking for that too. You could also combine this hypothetical sentences with practical examples. If you do that, your argument analysis will be excellent and reach at least a 5. (My strategy is to get a higher grade for the argument analysis in case I get a strange issue analysis, I'm not saying this is necessarily a good idea for you, but you could consider it). Hope this helped and good luck on Monday!!

Hi technocrat, thank you so much for your feedback, especially on the extended use of the example, that was my biggest issue. I actually completely agree on second part of your evaluation, it is a bit off the point, I realized that towards the end (that's what I get for writing too hastily, I don't normally manage to write so much so I guess I borrowed from the time usually dedicated to my initial reflection). I agree that your example would be much more appropriate ( or should I say germane haha GRE vocab is killing me). I'll definitely try to find a better balance next time and stick to the point more...this was kind of an experiment and your input helped, so thanks a lot!! :)

I think you're on the right track. It is interesting, I wrote an essay on the same topic a few days ago but my arguments were different :) Anyway, it's well connected and follows a clear thought. You could improve it by trying to incorporate some of the GRE vocabulary you feel like you really assimilated and mix up your sentence structure a bit. With these corrections, I feel like this could aim for the top scores!

Hi! In my opinion you have some great elements but this can be improved! Keep using GRE vocabulary, that's a good start. Do make sure you eliminate minor grammar errors (which in turn - no s) and more importantly, try to develop your arguments further more! It doesn't look that complete....but it's a great start!

Hi! I've been told my essays lack examples so I tried to incorporate one throughout my issue essay. I'm not sure if I overdid it, though. I would really appreciate your evaluation of this attempt. Please rate it as well. Thanks a lot in advance!! Instructions: Leaders are created by the demands that are placed on them. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position. My essay: People are malleable creatures, whose experience consistently shapes their personality and skills, just like the tide shapes even the greatest cliffs. No matter how strong the material that builds them, the tide always prevails. First and foremost, our daily tasks coalesced with our working environment is bound to influence our ethics and professional skills. Try comparing the same prosperous, motivated worker whose marketing career earned him a management position in two very different companies. One is a creative association whose workers own significant portions of the company and share extraordinary concern and dedication towards the company’s well-being. The other is a competitive corporation where our manager implements directions given to him in order to supervise a large team of people from different backgrounds and disparate levels of motivation. It is difficult to believe that these two experiences could ever shape a similar leader. Our manager of a creative association may be a radiant leader, encouraging insightful ideas of his staff, occasionally directing overly idealistic endeavors towards more practical and profitable projects. His managerial style is relaxed and compassionate, although imposing at times. The corporate manager in which our marketing prodigy developed, is a rather assertive, controlling and authoritative figure whose methods range from helpful suggestions to intransigent demands needed to warrant the overall success of the company. Following the example of the two leaders, it is fair to assume that these two, at least professionally, very different people have divergent success standards. Being the only manager of a creative association, our off hand manager will probably be focused on the success of the company, therefore developing altruistic tendencies that sometimes lead towards values such as solidarity and community-building. He is likely to be less egotistical compared to the person working in a large corporation, whose ladders he needs to climb. Overall well being will fall behind priorities linked to the personal promotion of our corporate leader. The success of his department will be in function of his impeccable record, whose sole purpose lies in the advancement of his career. Try to guess which leader will attend personal events of his staff and which one is more likely to play golf with his superiors or network at important events corporate events. Finally, while some may argue that it is our personal predispositions and our level of education that more often define our professional persona, my example proves that our social habits may differ in particular environments and our effective role may influence the relationship we have with our coworkers. Furthermore, people with the same education may develop their knowledge in fundamentally different way: take for example a Harvard lawyer whose career revolved around a divorce cases and compare that person with an environmental lawyer. Even though their educational basis differs in nothing but minutia, the dichotomy of the direction in which their knowledge developed can be explained exclusively by their professional surroundings. To conclude, just like rocks, leaders’ personalities come in many different shapes and forms, which inevitably disclose all the challenges and inclement or auspicious circumstances in which they were created. Our past achievements and failures not only define who we once were, but also who we seek to become.

Hi Sencer! I'm not sure but I think your language should be a bit more academic than that. I feel like you are using too many idiomatic expressions and informal structures, which may work perfectly for TOEFL, but is not really the GRE level. Also, you should perhaps consider focusing more on the quality rather than the quantity: again, it is not an assessment of your English, they are interested in your reasoning, which is amateurish in my opinion. Also, check your grammar a bit... Hope this helped! :)

Hi there! My advice to you is not to use the abbreviations (that is where instead of that's) and to subtract from the introduction and add it to your body paragraphs (5 total paragraphs is optimal, so I've read). also, try to use some GRE words. Other than that it's pretty good!

Hi there! I think you developed some interesting points but there are a few things you could improve: 1. try writing diverse sentences -- don't always provide an example by saying the word "a good example is...". Also every time you have a superlative (the best, the biggest, the smallest, the loneliest) you always have THE :) Also, remember 3rd person singular in present simple requires an S (a good leader strives for the best would be correct)! I already gave this advice to someone on this blog but I'll say it again, if you feel your grammar is keeping your score down, tackle your grammar first, then start practicing for GRE. There are many free websites that offer great grammar exercises, perhaps you should try it! Good luck with everything!

@Al2ola, sure no problem, I mean all that I said. Don't make your intro too long either, I read yesterday on the kaplan blog we shouldn't focus too much on the introduction. So perhaps you can keep it short just camouflage it so it doesn't look like a blunt answer to the question ;)

I disagree with barryDC's points, I actually liked the sentences he/she objected to. I'm not sure you should start your conclusion with "So..." but maybe that's just my idea. Overall it's solid, it is well connected, the issues you bring forward are to the point so I think you'd get 5 or 5.5 for this one!

@Al2ola yours is great! Good for you! @watiss: your intro is too long and it probably took you too much time. I read an interesting article on kaplan test GRE blog, and the author (who teaches GRE prep courses) wrote that the long introduction such as those we were taught to write in high school is to be avoided on the exam day! They don't care if your essay is 'elegant', they are paid to decide if you presented solid arguments, so focus more on your body paragraphs and try to develop your thesis a bit more. I think that would greatly help you!

Hi again! I liked the first essay I read from you better, but this one's okay too. You have many examples, which is great and you are using some GRE words so kudos there! I really like your introduction and how well connected it is with the first paragraph! However, I think that your first two sentences of the second body paragraph could be merged into one, also in order to clarify them....I understood what you wanted to say only after I read the example, so I'd fix that a little bit. I'd elaborate a bit more on the conclusion (I think you need a stronger conclusion on this one, compared to the argument analysis). Overall I'd give you 4-4.5.

Hi, I'll try to help with this one but bear in mind I've never taken the GRE. First of all, did you write all of this in 30 minutes? If you didn't maybe try practicing with the time limit, otherwise you'll get lost on your exam day. If you have, then try writing less but leaving enough time to check for grammar mistakes because they are not few. Also, I don't know how much time you have to prepare for GRE but if your time is not limited, I'd leave this section for a while, focus on grammar rules and mistakes you tend to make and then go back to writing essays. As I said I've never taken the GRE but I do work with a few English students and let me tell you, when they skip too many grammar rules and then come to me saying they only want to do TOEFL exercises I cringe because it's slapdash and just useless. You'll need less time to go over your grammar and then start writing, once you're more comfortable with your language skills. Try this website: ego4u.com -- I think it's very organized and provides lots of exercises, not to mention it's completely free. Or choose a different website, your choice. I don't mean to bring you down, I hope you're not disappointed but you have some interesting ideas that are hidden behind unsatisfactory grammar. Perhaps reading online articles or books would also be beneficial. Remember, if you get into your program of choice, you'll have a lot of writing to do, so this is a good preparation for that as well! :) I wish all the best!

Hello, sorry everyone I just saw your replies. @Susan, thank you! That is very reassuring. @Al2ola, I read your essay and honestly I like it better than mine! You definitely raised more issues and it looks very complete! I wish I was able to write as much...I'm working on it but the GRE preparation taught me that I'm actually a slow writer, never knew that! 30 minutes just fly by....Anyway, I read another essay of yours (a topic issue) and I think that if your math is as good as your English, you're doing so well already!

Well this one is better but there is still a lot of space for improvement. First of all, try making your body paragraphs similar in length. You can tell that you spent too much time on your first paragraph and then had to rush it towards the end. Practice writing as many essays with the time limit in mind in order to avoid this mistake. Also, try to follow this rule -- three arguments explained in three body paragraphs no longer than 5 lines each. This can do wonders for your time management! Another thing you should really know is that this is supposed to be academic English -- so no abbreviations (it's turns to it is etc.) and no words such as "kids" -- use the formal noun "children". So change your tone!! Finally, go over your sentence structure a bit. Especially the end of the first paragraph "Bounded by moral obligations might limit an individual in the approach while taking these decisions." This is not clear at all. Hope this helped!

I think both of you deserve more than a 4.@stirlingb12 I think you need to connect your paragraphs the way they probably want it -- use linking words. Also, try to incorporate the argument you are trying to refute earlier in your essay so that it doesn't seem so rushed towards the end. I actually think it's good that you used GRE vocabulary, I also thought indolent could be used for people, but if you want to be sure use those words you are sure you understood correctly and know in which context they can be used. Overall, I preferred the other essay you wrote but this one's not so bad either. @Al2ola I think your essay is a little more fluid, although I didn't like your introduction, I agree that by making your fist sentence your thesis sentence it feels like you're answering a question rather than writing an entire essay which lowers its general quality. In my opinion you should use some GRE words (I'm pretty sure they grade that) and try to make your sentences seem different. Other than that I liked it and I believe it's more towards a 5 than a 4.

Thank you for your comments, I agree I need to come up with better examples. I think most of us are much more harsh on ourselves, I don't think I'm anywhere near 5 but thanks, I'll keep on working on it :)

Hey there! I like this one better than the previous issue essay! Your intro and conclusion are solid, your vocabulary is more refined and the body paragraphs seem more fluid. You have minor grammar mistakes I'm sure are due to the time limit (ex. How much will prices increased?) but I'm sure they are not worrisome. I particularly like your first body paragraph, it is very concrete. Your last body paragraph, on the other side, looks a bit sloppy...especially the part with the competition...you could make it a bit clearer. But I think this would get 4.5 or a 5! :)

Hi! so here's my rating: I'd say this would get a 4. Your biggest issues in this essay is cohesion, maybe try starting your paragraphs with linking words, that would help a lot. Also, your last body paragraph is quite convincing actually so it weakens your main position. You could fix it by completely rebuking the thesis of accidental research by adding another counter argument. Also, I think you'd get a better score if you incorporated some of GRE vocabulary...I know it's a sword with a double edge since you never know if you used them 100% correctly but try using those you're positive about. That said, it is clear and you stick to the point.

Well if this is a 4 then I'm in a big trouble. I'm not trying to flatter you it's everything it's supposed to be. Also, you do need to consider we have 30 minutes to write this and not all topics speak to us either. However, your essay was actually insightful...when I read it I thought...wow you actually know something about this topic (I know nothing about the issues of vitamin A deficiency) and your examples were very clear. I'd be very optimistic if I were you!

Hello everyone! I'm preparing for my GRE and I'm having a lot of difficulties with the math section so I've been focusing on that part for the last two months and I think I underestimated this section. Argument Analysis is particularly tricky I think so I'd really appreciate if you could take some time and share your suggestions with me! Any criticism will help! Thanks a lot in advance! The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College. "To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham." Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument. The idea of building new dormitories for the students of Buckingham College, whose matriculation number is growing, seems to respond to the rising housing prices in the area and therefore accommodate the needs of its prospective students. While these arguments amount to a convincing proposal, further information is necessary in order to fully comprehend the issue. First of all, detailed information on current dormitories and the ratio of students living in and off campus is necessary. Should we learn that the current dormitories exceed the university’s needs and that the costs of their maintenance exceed their revenues, this project would be very unlikely to be approved by the Board. L Linked to the previous question, is the issue of the university’s budget. In order to approve or refuse this proposal, a clear idea of the university’s financial situation would have to be taken into an account in order to understand whether the university can actually undertake such an ambitious and financially challenging endeavor. General budget should also be evaluated together with any possible mandatory project the university already approved or intends to implement. While dormitories represent an important aspect of the campus, facilities such as the library, gym, perhaps the pool etc. may need urgent restoration, which would significantly shrink the budget. In addition to the financial situation of the university, possible announced reforms of the higher education could significantly alter the expected number of future applicants, therefore curving the estimation on future students and their need of Buckingham dormitory. For example, in 2012 when British authorities raised tuition ceiling for 200%, the British university saw a decrease of 15 000 students in a single academic year. This is why these projects based on statistical prognostics need to be studied together with economic visions of tomorrow. Lastly, considering that the author of the text implies that new dormitories could serve to incite prospective students to apply to this university, past surveys of high school graduates could shed light on the applicants’ methods of selection in order to ensure that a factor such as dormitory does, in fact, rank as a potent variable, capable of alluring prospective students. All in all, while the author of the text makes compelling arguments that could possibly ameliorate the quality of the students’ life at Buckingham University, further information on the university’s financial situation and effective need for new dormitories is indispensable in order to assess the entire suggestion.

Hi! So in my personal opinion, it's okay but you should work on this portion of the test a bit more. First of all, I see your essay is not very long so you probably have some time-related issues -- this is how you could fix it: there is no need to repeat the question!! You don't need to summarize everything you've read, they know what's your question; instead, focus on adding another body paragraph. I think this would help you a lot! Also, you're probably practicing GRE vocabulary (if you're not check out magoosh free vocabulary cards and Quizlet GRE sets...some people did a really good job on Quizlet and you can use their sets! Once you learn these words, try incorporating then in your essays, it will help you get a better score). You do have some minor punctuation issues (just pay attention to it when you read, it'll help you) but your arguments are very well-developed and the entire essay is very clear and devoid of major grammar mistakes, which is crucial here. So I hope this helps and good luck with everything!!

Hi! I actually tried responding to this question myself a few days ago. I think you did well overall but there are definitely a few issues you should improve. The last body paragraph is confusing, especially the first sentence. If you are not a native speaker, you are probably translating from your native languages. From my tutoring experience, when I have no idea what a student wanted to say, it's a foreign construction, so try to avoid that. I'd also try and make the introduction slightly more robust, now it's basically just a thesis statement. You have some minor mistakes throughout the text, looking at the conclusion only, it's "recommendation followed (no need for "is"), "the first issue to address is "not first to address is...". Also, instead of saying "we cannot hope to get reliable information or gather reliable information or collect reliable information but not "have"). I'm not sure how much time you have to prepare for your test, but if you're skipping some grammar lessons, it may be helpful to go back to some English manuals as well :) Good luck with everything, keeping my fingers crossed!

Hi! I'll try to evaluate your essay although I've never actually taken the GRE (I am preparing for it as well). Overall, it looks really really great. You have great arguments and the entire essay is well thought out and connected. Your vocabulary and syntax are complex and well combined. I have just a couple of suggestions. First of all -- no abbreviations! (since it is academic writing, you should probably say "there is" instead of "there's"). Also, you could try to avoid finishing sentences with a preposition ("If it can without sacrificing other important government spending options, then there is nothing to worry about." try saying"then the issue is not even raised" or "then the problem ceases to exist" or something like that). Everything else is just great, way to go! I'd give you a 6!